Jul 14, 2011, 5:40 PM EST
I didn’t watch the ESPY Awards. I hope I don’t have to explain why. Just know that I didn’t watch them. So I missed
Mike Seth Myers’* monologue. Which again, shouldn’t be a big deal, because Mike* Myers hasn’t been funny since at least 1997* for a long time.
But when you have material as ripe as the Dodgers are right now, even
Mike*Seth Myers gets to rip on you, and there’s not a hell of a lot you can do about it. My favorite line:
“The Dodgers are so broke, three of their players tested positive for ramen noodles.”
Easy target? Of course. Easy joke? Yep. But I still lol’d.
*I’m told I had the wrong un-funny Myers. Fine, it was Seth. Just further proof that, no, I did not watch the ESPY Awards.
- Blue Jays sign Dayan Viciedo to a minor league deal 8
- Chris Sale will be sidelined for three weeks with foot fracture 11
- Aramis Ramirez says 2015 will be his last year 32
- Francisco Rodriguez re-signs with the Brewers 9
- If addiction is an illness — and it is — Josh Hamilton shouldn’t be suspended 306
- Pirates open to massive extension for Andrew McCutchen 18
- Report: Josh Hamilton had a relapse this offseason that “involved at least cocaine” 86
- Yankees don’t plan on having to pay A-Rod’s $30 million in home run milestone bonuses 52
- If addiction is an illness — and it is — Josh Hamilton shouldn’t be suspended (306)
- San Francisco — and all of California — will consider a smokeless tobacco ban that includes MLB parks (131)
- Curt Schilling lowers the boom on some men tweeting threats against his daughter (119)
- Brian Sabean says that California taxes are a hindrance to the Giants signing free agents (102)
- Ichiro is happy to be away from Joe Girardi (88)