Jul 14, 2011, 5:40 PM EST
I didn’t watch the ESPY Awards. I hope I don’t have to explain why. Just know that I didn’t watch them. So I missed
Mike Seth Myers’* monologue. Which again, shouldn’t be a big deal, because Mike* Myers hasn’t been funny since at least 1997* for a long time.
But when you have material as ripe as the Dodgers are right now, even
Mike*Seth Myers gets to rip on you, and there’s not a hell of a lot you can do about it. My favorite line:
“The Dodgers are so broke, three of their players tested positive for ramen noodles.”
Easy target? Of course. Easy joke? Yep. But I still lol’d.
*I’m told I had the wrong un-funny Myers. Fine, it was Seth. Just further proof that, no, I did not watch the ESPY Awards.
- Mark Prior is retiring, will take a job with the Padres 0
- Roy Halladay is retiring 53
- Tony La Russa Bobby Cox, Joe Torre all unanimously elected to the Hall of Fame 48
- Tony Blengino says recent report on Seattle front office is “just the tip of the iceberg” 61
- Rakuten Golden Eagles appear likely to allow Masahiro Tanaka’s departure to MLB 49
- Robinson Cano agrees to $240 million deal with Mariners (260)
- Yankees agree to seven-year, $153M contract with free agent outfielder Jacoby Ellsbury (160)
- Report: Mariners willing to offer Robinson Cano a 10-year, $240 million deal (143)
- Report: Yankees have agreed to a three-year deal with Carlos Beltran (125)
- Brett Gardner is drawing “significant” trade interest (112)