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Pray for Jayson Werth to continue to slump, Washington drinkers

Jul 20, 2011, 10:30 AM EDT

Jayson Werth

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. If you need something stronger, go for the beer. Preferably at Duffy’s Irish Pub in Washington, D.C. this Sunday, and preferably after Jayson Werth goes 0 for his next 16 or so:

Duffy’s Irish Pub has found a way to make that first-half bust pay off now. During the game against the Los Angeles Dodgers on Sunday, you can order PBR tallboys, Buds and High Lifes for whatever Werth’s batting average is at the time. For example, if the promotion started right now, at the time of publication, Werth’s .211 batting average would mean $2.11 brewskies.

Of course you may ask whether or not PBRs, Buds or High Lifes are worth $2.11 or even $1.96, but why take the fun out of a fun promotion?

In other news, this Duffy’s place is apparently across the street from the 9:30 Club, up on Vermont Avenue. Many moons ago when I was a young man I went to the 9:30 Club fairly often.  Maybe I was just not paying attention, but the only thing I remember being around that place — which had just moved up to its current location — was urban decay and a lot of scared white kids racing for the U Street Cardozo Metro station after shows.  I think Manute Bol owned a club nearby, but it never occurred to anyone to go to it after, say, The Jesus Lizard show.

  1. Charles Gates - Jul 20, 2011 at 10:37 AM

    Miller High Life Light. Best value out there.
    It tastes better than all of the other domestic light beers and costs less.

    • Charles Gates - Jul 20, 2011 at 11:51 AM

      The number of thumbs down I’ve received makes me happy. This means that the demand for MHHL will stay low along with its price.
      Thank you!

      • kopy - Jul 20, 2011 at 11:56 AM

        Some people just weren’t cut out for the High Life.

      • yankeesfanlen - Jul 20, 2011 at 12:45 PM

        You are quite right. Since it is my preference, there have been various outages during the recent mild recession that the Feds have declared over, but beer drinkers here refuse to abide by.
        60 cents a can equals a bargain at $2.11 in DC. Sounds about right.

    • marshmallowsnake - Jul 20, 2011 at 1:19 PM

      One should not be able to easily see through beer :)

      • marshmallowsnake - Jul 20, 2011 at 1:32 PM

        OK, that is personal preference…see my convo below :)

  2. sdelmonte - Jul 20, 2011 at 10:38 AM

    I demand similar discounts at Chicago bars for Adam Dunn and NYC bars for Jason Bay!

  3. kopy - Jul 20, 2011 at 10:39 AM

    I would ask if PBR is worth $2.11, but it would rhetorical because Pasbt Blue Ribbon is the sweet, delicious nectar of the Gods.

    I’m not a hipster, they took my beer. The best way to take it back is make it popular and mainstream.

  4. Kevin S. - Jul 20, 2011 at 10:47 AM

    Yeah, you’d need to pay me to drink that swill.

  5. Jonny 5 - Jul 20, 2011 at 11:02 AM

    I haven’t seen PBR or Miller high life on tap anywhere I’ve been since I’ve turned 21. They actually put that stuff in kegs for mass consumption huh?

    • randall351 - Jul 20, 2011 at 11:12 AM

      Not on tap, PBR Tall Boys are the large cans, I can’t remember the size right off, I think 24 ounces. They have them in most of the bars around here (Kansas City) for usually between $1.50-$2.00 at only the classiest of bars.

      • Utley's Hair - Jul 20, 2011 at 11:18 AM

        So, unless JDub hits or plunges through the Mendoza Line, they’re ripping off their customers? Nice.

  6. dmac26 - Jul 20, 2011 at 11:17 AM

    I’d love to see Peter Angelos in Baltimore offer this for his team batting average as opposed to current prices more indicative of his woeful pitching staff’s ERA.

  7. APBA Guy - Jul 20, 2011 at 11:26 AM

    The 9:30 club was always for alt hipsters, even in the old, old days when it was at 930 E St, a much safer location, but a too small venue. Rockers preferred the Black Cat, local boy Dave Grohl’s place (he’s from Springfield, VA, the only famous person from there). After the 9:30 moved I thought they should have gone totally Mexican Radio, and put a concrete and barbed wire fence around the place with a chubby, ineffective guard. Of course, if you thrived on fear you went to Hammerjacks in Baltimore, but that was fear of a different sort.

  8. Old Gator - Jul 20, 2011 at 11:44 AM

    Werth isn’t “slumping.” That’s as good as he is with no protection in a lineup. Ah, but most of his salary is allocated for “veteran leadership,” just like Mike Cameron’s, isn’t it?

    • Kevin S. - Jul 20, 2011 at 11:58 AM

      You have to be joking, right?

      • Old Gator - Jul 20, 2011 at 12:58 PM

        I never joke about my work, 007.

    • marshmallowsnake - Jul 20, 2011 at 1:23 PM

      Who does Mike Cameron play for?

      • Utley's Hair - Jul 20, 2011 at 1:36 PM

        He was dumped by the Sawx and then picked up by the Feesh during their recent series with the Phightins.

      • marshmallowsnake - Jul 20, 2011 at 2:04 PM

        I knew he was on the Sox, and the dumped him…but I missed the Feesh apparently :)

  9. delawarephilliesfan - Jul 20, 2011 at 12:22 PM

    You know…..the Phillies picked up Michael Martinez in the Rule 5 draft from the Nat’s. In 101 at bats, Martinez now has 15 RBI’s. In 344 at bats Werth-less has 31 RBI’s.

    Werth better pray Polanco comes off the DL soon….I’m just saying…..

  10. marshmallowsnake - Jul 20, 2011 at 12:38 PM

    I think people need to start drinking craft brews and Belgian beers…that is how I roll…and I have not been disappointed yet!

    • Charles Gates - Jul 20, 2011 at 1:05 PM

      Yes, craft brews and lesser known imports are wonderful to drink and can be quite enjoyable. I defend my affinity for Miller High Life Light because I genuinely like the beer.
      What I find most distasteful about how crafts are becoming more mainstream is how the type of beer you happen to be drinking at the time seems to essentially defines your character in a social setting. The snobbery expressed by various craft and microbrew beer people is absurd (I am NOT accusing you), and reminds me of the social climbing wine crowds I try to avoid, despite the fact I like wine quite a bit.

      • marshmallowsnake - Jul 20, 2011 at 1:28 PM

        I agree with you 100%!!!! I do not care for beer snobs. People I know think I am one because I know a lot about the stuff that I enjoy. However, that is not the case. In fact, I use to drink all of that lighter stuff in college – much like everyone else. Then, one day, tried the other side…now I cannot go back. Taste-wise, Belgians and crafts are just too good to give up :)

        I say this, if you enjoy what you are drinking, then go for it. If people make fun of you for what you are drinking, then they are not worth the beer that is in your hands.

  11. Reggie's Bush - Jul 20, 2011 at 1:59 PM

    Beer goes great with pie…

    Actually, everything goes with pie.

    • Utley's Hair - Jul 20, 2011 at 4:22 PM

      Beer goes great with just about anything. Beer complements cake, but makes pie taste better.

  12. pizzi7404 - Jul 20, 2011 at 2:02 PM

    Hmmm maybe the Phillies were smart not to give him big money!!!!

    Also I went to the 9:30 club many times in my younger years…great place but I heard it has moved in the past few years. Used to be near Howard Medicial Center but has moved from there apparently.

  13. deathmonkey41 - Jul 20, 2011 at 7:39 PM

    Figures- I’ll probably never see Ketel One drinks for Jorge Posada’s batting average…

  14. hittfamily - Jul 20, 2011 at 7:58 PM

    Hey now, dont lump Manute Bol im with an area of urban decay. Most NBAers go broke cars, women and jewelry. He went broke building schools and hospitals.

  15. hittfamily - Jul 20, 2011 at 7:59 PM

    …broke BUYING cars….

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