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Ballplayers and their aliases

Jul 26, 2011, 2:06 PM EST

Rod Stewart

This is kind of fun. Alyson Footer tells about how back in the 90s, when she was doing Houston Astros PR work, one of her jobs was to keep track of all of the aliases that the players used when checking into hotels.  Aliases that kept them from being bugged by fans but that, as a result, made it somewhat difficult for her to remember who was who.

Sadly there aren’t any totally awesome aliases mentioned here. Though, yeah, Carl Everett using “Rod Stewart” was pretty tight.  I wouldn’t think of him as having a sense of humor. But actually, now that I think about it, it’s possible that he was just a dead serious Rod Stewart fan.  Like, if you told him that “Young Turks” was a horrible, empty pop song which more or less spit on the raucous memory of The Faces and the genuinely sweet and affecting qualities of Stweart’s early solo work, Everett would beat you up.

Biggest surprise, though: Footer makes no mention of guys using the alias “Buck Naked.”  It was the 90s for cryin’ out loud. If you asked 12 guys back then to come up with a fake name, at least seven of them would have used Buck Naked, right?

  1. kopy - Jul 26, 2011 at 2:22 PM

    I know I’m transcending sports here, but will there ever be a more famous athlete’s alias than Ron Mexico? Is that one the most popular or do I just still think it’s an awesome alias?

    • southpaw2k - Jul 26, 2011 at 2:25 PM

      Before I even got to reading your comment, the first thought I had was “Ron Mexico.” Easily the greatest (and most infamous) athlete alias ever.

  2. Jonny 5 - Jul 26, 2011 at 2:23 PM

    And to think, after all these years, I’ve been saying it wrong……. I always thought it was “butt naked” I will now hang my head in shame.

    BTW, “Maggie May” still gets me singing out loud almost every time I hear it. As long as I’m in my car, alone. Or in the shower, alone.. I will now hang my head in double shame…

    • drmonkeyarmy - Jul 26, 2011 at 3:02 PM

      You should be hanging your head in shame. Rod Stewart was and currently is terrible. There is no redeeming qualities for his music. None.

      • mox19380 - Jul 26, 2011 at 3:34 PM

        disagree… when he was with the faces and still doing his rock/blues and the occasional england-ie folk tune he was damn good. one of the best voices of the time. unfortunately he ruined it with everying from about 1972-Present

      • dexterismyhero - Jul 26, 2011 at 4:07 PM

        with the Faces and Ronnie Wood they were a pretty damn good band.

      • spudchukar - Jul 26, 2011 at 4:49 PM

        Whoa, whoa, whoa. Confusing “Maggie May” with “Do You Think I’m Sexy”, is off the charts.

  3. kinggeorge96 - Jul 26, 2011 at 2:30 PM

    Growing up, your alias was always your “porn star name” aka, your middle name and the street you grew up on… Edward Seaman. Or my wife with the ever porno-rific Susie Hoover…

    Ahhh memories….

    • hittfamily - Jul 26, 2011 at 2:38 PM

      I heard pets name, name of the street. Bubba Renegade

      • kopy - Jul 26, 2011 at 2:41 PM

        Same here, but either way, I always hated this game because I grew up on 118th Ave.

      • hittfamily - Jul 26, 2011 at 2:44 PM

        And on the topic of pet’s names, my buddy in college named his dog “Yermom”.

        Get Yermom off my couch. Yermom is **itting in my yard. That never got old.

      • cmutimmah - Jul 26, 2011 at 2:52 PM

        I’d be David Woodward and the wife would be Kathleen Fairway Vista

        I can see both of those being stellar porn names!

      • southpaw2k - Jul 26, 2011 at 3:09 PM

        My pet name/street name combo would be Toby Linden, which I always thought would be an awesome porn star name.

    • foreverchipper10 - Jul 26, 2011 at 5:10 PM

      My porn name is Crackers Wood

      My aunt’s is Puffy Bird

      My girlfriend’s is Buster Butler.

      This game is fun.

  4. heyblueyoustink - Jul 26, 2011 at 2:39 PM

    I kept it simple…..Vince McSweeney……..however I may have had a mouthy, snarky, hound dog of a twin brother named Russell that my parents were never aware of…….he was such a jerk, I was always apologizing for his actions after the fact….

  5. 19dscout - Jul 26, 2011 at 3:05 PM

    Mike Honcho. No doubt the coolest sports alias.

    • dink53 - Jul 26, 2011 at 3:41 PM

      Duffer Martinsburg? See that just kills the thread…

  6. dexterismyhero - Jul 26, 2011 at 3:44 PM

    pet name/street name?

    Max Sunshine

    How about the Fletch movies.

    My name is Nugent….Ted Nugent…..

    • homelanddefense - Jul 26, 2011 at 3:59 PM

      pet/street name= epic porn name for me

      Rambo Ophelia

  7. JB (the original) - Jul 26, 2011 at 3:59 PM

    Or when Marty McFly goes back to the wild west and uses “Clint Eastwood” and they all get on him about the ‘pansy’ name.

    Bax Flag (our parakeet when I was a kid)/street.

    What do you do when your pet has his own alias? Our cat that we named “Jojo” was found to have an alter ego of his own that since has been dubbed “Crazy Louie”. Should have known something was up from the “Decepticat” logo on his head.

  8. dexterismyhero - Jul 26, 2011 at 4:10 PM

    Staying with Clint Eastwood from the movie The Enforcer he used Larry Dickman.

  9. preludetosmack - Jul 26, 2011 at 4:12 PM

    mr. mojo risin

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