Jul 26, 2011, 3:29 PM EST
Look, I know everyone who isn’t me has their juices flowing this week because football — the handsome yet drunken and occasionally abusive boyfriend of professional sports — is back and that you’re all gonna try hard to make it work this time. And I’m happy for all of you, I really am. But could you do me one small favor and not import football terms into baseball in honor of its return? This is what got me, from the Twitter feed of Jon Heyman:
hearing [the Giants] are showing strong interest in bj upton. hes “shutdown cf” who fits their big park.
I totally understand what he’s getting at here. And I suppose that clarity of intent the only real rule when it comes to coining new terms. But please, let me have this Jon. Let me have a space in baseball where football does not intrude. More broadly, let us remember that, when it comes to the eight position players on the field, describing a guy in a single-dimension does not work as well as doing so for a football player, where specialization is the order of the day rather than the exception.
Anyway, my sanity needs this very badly. Thank you for your consideration in this regard.
- Report: Red Sox offer Jon Lester six years, $110-120 million 66
- Report: “There is a 90 percent chance that Pablo Sandoval will sign with the Red Sox” 121
- A’s sign Billy Butler to three-year, $30 million contract 83
- Cardinals reportedly joining pursuit of Jon Lester 65
- Giancarlo Stanton’s contract is backloaded. REALLY backloaded. 148
- Braves and Cardinals swap Jason Heyward and Shelby Miller in blockbuster deal 156
- Blue Jays sign Russell Martin to five-year, $82 million deal 135
- Done Deal: Giancarlo Stanton and the Marlins agree on the biggest contract in baseball history 124
- Biggest deal in baseball history: Giancarlo Stanton close to 13-year, $325 million contract with Marlins (182)
- Braves and Cardinals swap Jason Heyward and Shelby Miller in blockbuster deal (156)
- Giancarlo Stanton’s contract is backloaded. REALLY backloaded. (148)
- Blue Jays sign Russell Martin to five-year, $82 million deal (135)
- Done Deal: Giancarlo Stanton and the Marlins agree on the biggest contract in baseball history (124)