Jul 29, 2011, 9:40 AM EST
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly, but I don’t know why she swallowed the fly. I guess she’ll die:
For years, the San Francisco Giants’ regular seagulls cooperated so nicely: They flocked to AT&T Park after the final out to scavenge for treats like leftover popcorn, pizza or garlic fries.
Those gulls have become more pesky and plentiful of late, creating a problem for fans during games on occasion this season. So, now, the Giants are considering bringing in a resident falcon to help fend off the birds and keep them at bay out where they belong – above the bay.
This happens at a ballpark or two every year. And while I understand how nature works, I do always find it funny that the solution to a pest is to invite a killer bird of prey into a building with 40,000 people in it every day.
And as a result of watching way too many bad movies in my youth, I always wonder (hope?) that the falcon will develop a taste for human flesh and turn on its keepers and the fans at large. They then bring in some old shaman-type stock character (played by a fading actor who made a couple of decent movies in the 70s but is now down on his luck) who claims to know the ways of the Falcon,* and he too is eaten. As is always the case, the day is saved by some plucky teenagers.
*Note: “Ways of the Falcon” would be an excellent title for this direct-to-video feature.
- Blue Jays sign Dayan Viciedo to a minor league deal 8
- Chris Sale will be sidelined for three weeks with foot fracture 11
- Aramis Ramirez says 2015 will be his last year 32
- Francisco Rodriguez re-signs with the Brewers 9
- If addiction is an illness — and it is — Josh Hamilton shouldn’t be suspended 303
- Pirates open to massive extension for Andrew McCutchen 18
- Report: Josh Hamilton had a relapse this offseason that “involved at least cocaine” 86
- Yankees don’t plan on having to pay A-Rod’s $30 million in home run milestone bonuses 51
- If addiction is an illness — and it is — Josh Hamilton shouldn’t be suspended (303)
- San Francisco — and all of California — will consider a smokeless tobacco ban that includes MLB parks (131)
- Report: The Yankees were “fuming” at how A-Rod handled his early arrival to spring training (114)
- Cuban prospect Yoan Moncada reportedly signs with the Red Sox for $31.5 million, plus $31.5 million in penalties (106)
- Brian Sabean says that California taxes are a hindrance to the Giants signing free agents (102)