Jul 29, 2011, 9:40 AM EST
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly, but I don’t know why she swallowed the fly. I guess she’ll die:
For years, the San Francisco Giants’ regular seagulls cooperated so nicely: They flocked to AT&T Park after the final out to scavenge for treats like leftover popcorn, pizza or garlic fries.
Those gulls have become more pesky and plentiful of late, creating a problem for fans during games on occasion this season. So, now, the Giants are considering bringing in a resident falcon to help fend off the birds and keep them at bay out where they belong – above the bay.
This happens at a ballpark or two every year. And while I understand how nature works, I do always find it funny that the solution to a pest is to invite a killer bird of prey into a building with 40,000 people in it every day.
And as a result of watching way too many bad movies in my youth, I always wonder (hope?) that the falcon will develop a taste for human flesh and turn on its keepers and the fans at large. They then bring in some old shaman-type stock character (played by a fading actor who made a couple of decent movies in the 70s but is now down on his luck) who claims to know the ways of the Falcon,* and he too is eaten. As is always the case, the day is saved by some plucky teenagers.
*Note: “Ways of the Falcon” would be an excellent title for this direct-to-video feature.
- St. Petersburg City Council votes down deal to allow Rays to look for new stadium site 5
- What will the future of Cuban players in MLB look like? 24
- Royals sign Edinson Volquez for two years, $20 million 28
- Rays, Padres, Nationals agree to 11-player trade 97
- Sergio Romo re-signs with the Giants for $15 million 15
- So, apparently we’re sweating the Matt Kemp physical now 46
- The United States will seek to normalize relations with Cuba 144
- Marlins complete Michael Morse deal: two years, $16 million 19
- Baseball’s highest-ranking Hispanic woman employee sues for discrimination (163)
- The United States will seek to normalize relations with Cuba (144)
- Cubs, Red Sox, Dodgers, Padres, Rangers, and Astros interested in Phillies’ Cole Hamels (110)
- Done Deal: Yoenis Cespedes and two players traded to Detroit for Rick Porcello and a minor leaguer (105)
- Rays, Padres, Nationals agree to 11-player trade (97)