Aug 15, 2011, 8:25 AM EDT
After a week off I have no idea what in the hell is going on. Some dude tried to convince me on Twitter last night that Texas A&M has petitioned to join the AL Central and I’m inclined to believe him. That’s what happens when you get in the car with the kids, drive 450 miles, plop in front of a gorgeous expanse of clean blue water and just turn your brain off for a week.
Usually the Weekend Wrap feature catches me up to date after a couple days off, but there’s no hope for me catching up from the whole vacation. But heck, two or three days is better than nothing, so let’s give it a whirl:
- Carlos Zambrano went crazy, quit on his team and is now in deep with management. This is not a repeat from, like, every year for the past decade.
- CC Sabathia gave up a bunch of homers on Friday night too, and all he’s going to do is shake it off, pitch better next time, remain a good teammate and collect millions and millions of more dollars. What’s so hard about that again?
- Rest in Peace Ernie Johnson.
- Rest in Peace Cole Hamels’ Arm.
- Bryce Harper may be emotionally immature, but boy howdy is he OK physically.
- This is just begging for one of those body-switch movies a la “18 Again” or whatever that thing is in which Jason Bateman is currently debasing himself.
- The Diamondbacks have a machine that prints up tomato can corner infielders.
- “Is Mr. Torre gone?” ”Yes, Scott. He’s gone. He can’t hurt you anymore.” ”OK then. I’ll sign.”
- I know a lot of good people who are out of work. And then I read something like this.
- Someone should introduce Freddy Garcia to carry out food.
- The Logan Morrison demotion is rather interesting. Especially given that everyone involved is talkin’ about it.
- Your team’s fans suck.
- Dan Uggla’s hitting streak is over. In other news, hitting streaks are kinda overrated. For example, Ted Williams hit better than Joe DiMaggio did over the course of the latter’s 56-game streak. Splinter just bunched his together more erratically. So what? Makes me wish that Uggla hit in 57 games so we could all finally admit that such things are more curios and coincidences than actual badges of greatness. DiMaggio was great for a lot of stuff. 56 straight games with a hit is pretty minor on the merits.
And we now return you to your regularly-scheduled obsessive blogging.
- Ian Kinsler hopes Rangers go 0-162, calls GM a “sleazeball” (132)
- Albert Pujols was insulted when someone asked him if he can put up Mike Trout numbers (103)
- Manny Machado calls $519K salary for 2014 “disappointing” (87)
- Is Barry Bonds really getting a “fair hearing?” (82)
- Ryan Braun calls himself an “artist,” doesn’t care what fans on the road will shout at him (75)