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And That Happened: Sunday’s scores and highlights

Aug 22, 2011, 5:30 AM EDT

Luis Perez

This edition of And That Happened is being written in a New York City hotel room, so if it takes on a tone of fright and confusion at the horrifying, dystopian cacophony that is New York, well, that’s why:

Blue Jays 1, Athletics 0: Luis Perez makes his first big league start and holds the A’s to one hit over six innings. “Hey, skip? Am I doin’ this right?”  “Sure, Luis. Just swell.”

Tigers 8, Indians 7: Austin Jackson = Gandalf. Kosuke Fukodome = Balrog. YOU SHALL NOT PASS!  So, Cleveland is dead now, right?

Nationals 5, Phillies 4: The walkoff HBP. After a weekend of late losses and hours upon hours of rain delays, I’m guessing that the Phillies are happy to get the hell out of Washington.

Rockies 5, Dodgers 3: I love how no one on the planet cared that the Rockies hadn’t won on a bunch of Sundays in a row until last week and then, the very next Sunday, they win.

Padres 4, Marlins 3: Will Venable hit a bases loaded single to win it and to gain the sweep in walkoff fashion.  Of course he wouldn’t have been able to do that if Heath Bell hadn’t blown a save. On the same day that Trevor Hoffman‘s number was retired no less. Maybe Hoffman should have pitched.

Giants 6, Astros 4: Pablo Sandoval hits a two-run job in the 11th to salvage one against the Astros. The fact that they had to salvage one against the Astros is kind of sad, of course.

Angels 7, Orioles 1: Jerome Williams — Really, Jerome Williams — shut the O’s down. It was his first win in the bigs since September 2005. My son was two months old then. He’s starting first grade tomorrow.

Reds 5, Pirates 4: The Reds faced Joel Hanrahan three times over the weekend and they beat him twice.

Yankees 3, Twins 0: Curtis Granderson hit an inside the park homer which, given that the Twins’ right and centerfielders lined up poorly to play the carom off the wall, and given that the relay throw was candy-armed into home, wasn’t quite as impressive as one might think. I mean, great for Granderson, but like so many inside the parkers, it was built on a foundation of defense that was poor enough to allow the play but not poor enough to count for an error.

Red Sox 6, Royals 1: First sentence of the Associated Press recap: ” Jon Lester loves to face the Kansas City Royals.”  Well, duh. Who doesn’t?

Braves 1, Diamondbacks 0: The Braves sweep the Diamondbacks. Tim Hudson, Jonny Venters and Craig Kimbrel combine for the five-hit shutout. Fredi Gonzalez called a silly squeeze play once that backfired, but since the Braves won I suppose we’re not supposed to care about such things. Can’t wait until he does it against the Brewers in the NLDS.

White Sox 10, Rangers 0: Gavin Floyd was stingy and the White Sox pounded the Rangers. Here is as good a place as any to mention that I stupidly left the umbrella I brought with me to New York in my hotel room when I left to go out yesterday afternoon. When I emerged from the building I was in, it was pouring, and the hotel was just as far from where I was as was the restaurant I was going to, so I had little choice but to buy one of those cheapo umbrellas from a street vendor. It lasted almost two blocks before getting soaked through.  In other news, you can count on me to do one really dumbass newbie out-of-his-depth thing on every trip to New York. Maybe next time I’ll take an $80 gypsy cab ride from the airport or something. If you have any suggestions of ways I can make my life harder for myself when I leave my safe little Midwestern basement, please, leave them in the comments.

Brewers 6, Mets 2: One of the more pointed sentences you’ll read in an AP recap:

“Milwaukee won three straight in Queens to send the Mets six games under .500 for the first time since May 4 with a thorough display of superior baseball this weekend.”

Rays 8, Mariners 7: Johnny Damon had what he thought was a grand slam taken off the board thanks to a video replay in the seventh inning, but then hit a no-doubt walkoff homer in the ninth. Joe Girardi protested both calls. It was really strange.

Cardinals 6, Cubs 2: Rodrigo Lopez was hit so hard his kids are gonna come out shakin’.

  1. uyf1950 - Aug 22, 2011 at 6:10 AM

    Inside the park HR’s are always fun to watch regardless of of the reason. On top of that Nova pitched a great game and the Yankees won. Whether by coincidence or design the Yankees have 2 great performances Friday and Sunday that were sandwiched around one terrible one by none other than AJ Burnett. So what else is new.

    • kiwicricket - Aug 22, 2011 at 6:38 AM

      With that yellow, salad-bowl shaped hair-cut and a shirt Steve Irwin would have worn to work….It’s pretty understandable that A.J was lacking a bit of confidence over the weekend..

      • amr5026 - Aug 22, 2011 at 7:19 AM

        He must have gotten the message, bc he buzzes it off for yesterday’s game.

      • amr5026 - Aug 22, 2011 at 7:20 AM

        Buzzed, not buzzes. Sorry. Damn auto-correct.

      • hanswatson2013 - Aug 22, 2011 at 11:08 AM

        Sometimes I forget that other teams besides the Phillies play each day. Sometimes I forget they are even playing an opposing team during each game, I just assumed they scrimmaged themselves most of the time.I am a 28 years old doctor, mature and beautiful.and now I am seeking a good man who can give me real love , so i got a username Lindasunny2002 on–a’ge’l’es’s’da’te.c óm–.it is the first and best club for y’ounger women and old’er men, or older women and y’ounger men,to int’eract with each other. Maybe you wanna ch’eck ‘it out or tell your friends!

      • drmonkeyarmy - Aug 22, 2011 at 2:36 PM

        What in the hell is that? Are you posting a personal ad on a baseball blog?

    • kopy - Aug 22, 2011 at 8:44 AM

      Granderson’s HR was pretty fun to watch, but Craig did an apt job of summing up my thoughts on the play. For as much as we make fun of grit and hustle, Granderson showed a lot of it on that play, while the outfield duo of Revere and Cuddyer showed none.

      • kopy - Aug 22, 2011 at 9:02 AM

        *Kubel, not Cuddyer

    • yankeesfanlen - Aug 22, 2011 at 10:09 AM

      Are Granderson and Teixera the 50 year reincarnation of Mantle and Maris?

      • Kevin S. - Aug 22, 2011 at 10:16 AM

        No. But I do wonder if there’s been a pair of Yankee teammates to each homer forty times in a season.

        No, I am not about to waste twenty minutes on B-R. Why do you ask?

      • uyf1950 - Aug 22, 2011 at 10:28 AM

        Kevin S. – It actually only took about 2 minutes. Other then Mantle and Maris in 1961 it was done 3 times by the Gehrig/Ruth combination, 1927, 1930 and 1931. That’s it.

      • Kevin S. - Aug 22, 2011 at 10:42 AM

        Cheater!

        And actually, my scrolling through each season did turn up so mildly interesting tidbits (to me, anyway).

        Reggie and Tino were the only two Yanks to hit forty in a season between ’61 and ’02.

        The Giambi/Soriano combination came up just shy in both ’02 and ’03.

        Bernie Williams had a thirty-homer season?!

        It’s widely reported that Mickey Mantle hung ‘em up after ’68 because he thought he was finished. It’s been widely discussed how the league-wide offense outage that year depressed his numbers, but I wonder if an appreciation of OBP at the time might have encouraged him to hang on – his .385 was fourth in all of baseball that year, and only Yaz was significantly better than him in that department.

  2. kiwicricket - Aug 22, 2011 at 6:18 AM

    Fly via LAX on the way home?

  3. proudlycanadian - Aug 22, 2011 at 7:51 AM

    That was a great pitching battle between Toronto and Oakland. Perez was perfect for 5 innings, but everyone knew that he was on a pitch count. In the 6th, he gave up 2 walks and a single. He got out of trouble with a routine double play ball. Janssen only gave up 1 walk in his first 2 innings. Francisco was to replace him in the 9th but could not due to a sore shoulder, so Janssen completed the 1 hit game. Moscoso for the A’s was almost as good. Of the three hits he gave up one should have been called an error. Bautista did hit his 35th home run on a 10 pitch at bat. Bautista’s triple in the 9th inning off Santos was also tainted. Bautista made 2 difficult catches in the outfield. It was a great game to watch.

    • proudlycanadian - Aug 22, 2011 at 9:04 AM

      I have to correct myself. Bautista’s home run was his 36th of the season. It was the only run scored in the game.

      • cur68 - Aug 22, 2011 at 10:31 AM

        Ah yes PC. T’Was a gooder. Capped with a homer from the JB as the winning run it was nice to see the Jays get some 1 run quality pitching from a pitcher not named “Romero”. I do believe this was the first 1 zip victory they’ve posted all season. Perez has set the bar high or himself.

  4. halladaysbiceps - Aug 22, 2011 at 8:19 AM

    I’m not that upset that the Phillies lost the game yesterday or how the bullpen performed, but the use of Schwimmer, a rookie pitcher making his MLB debut, placed in the position to protect Halladay’s 3-2 lead after a 1hr 11min rain delay. I never criticise Charlie Manuel, but will in this case. You don’t put an unproven kid in this situation to protect a 1 run game, especially when we need this win to take 2 out of 3.

    Doc should have continued to pitch after the rain delay. Everyone is so worried about injuring a starter because he sat for an hour. It’s ridiculous. I said this yesterday. Years ago guys pitched 280-300 innings a year BEFORE the postseason. Doc could handle the extra work yesterday with no problem. If he goes on to lose the game, I’m fine with it. I would rather lose that way than lose like dogs like we did yesterday.

    • bleedgreen - Aug 22, 2011 at 8:43 AM

      The only one I blame for the loss is Lidge. He’s the one that loaded the bases. He’s the one that hit the batter. Period. Bastardo? Meh, it wasn’t even a bad pitch. The hitter just knocked it out of the park. That kind of stuff will happen. But loading the bases on 3 hits and hitting the batter? C’mon now.

      Schwimmer looked good though. He had 3 or 4K? Not bad for a debut.

      • halladaysbiceps - Aug 22, 2011 at 8:50 AM

        I can’t get upset with Lidge because he doesn’t have the arm this year to begin with. I can’t get upset with a guy who physically cannot perform his job. His fastball is a joke, topping out at 88 if he’s lucky. He’s a two pitch pitcher. If he can’t physically throw a fastball, and just keeps throwing the slider, guy will just wait on his fastball. I blame Charlie for this. He should have pitched Bastardo another inning. Bastardo can go 3 innings if need be.

        Lidge only needs to be out there if the Phillies have a comfortable lead, like 3 or more runs. He doesn’t have the tools anymore to do otherwise.

      • bleedgreen - Aug 22, 2011 at 12:47 PM

        What happened to Juan Perez? I haven’t seen him pitch in weeks. They talk about Stutes and Madson being unavailable, well… where is this guy hiding at?

      • halladaysbiceps - Aug 22, 2011 at 1:10 PM

        Perez was sent down to the minors a few weeks ago to make room for someone coming off the DL. I forget who it was, but Perez is in the minors now.

    • Alex K - Aug 22, 2011 at 8:44 AM

      I think Manuel made the righ move not putting Halladay back out there. If he were to get hurt then the Phillies would be in big trouble. Why risk it for a game that won’t decide your season?

    • phillyphreak - Aug 22, 2011 at 8:45 AM

      This is a comment that confuses me. You are not upset with how the bullpen performed but then complain about a bullpen pitcher coming in to the game. The MLB debut thing is way overblown. If you want to criticze Charlie then pick something else to attack him.

      Managers never (or rarely) put their ace back in after a lengthy rain delay. It’s not an innings pitched thing, especially considering that it’s Doc you’re talking about (really, the innings don’t have much to do with your argument.) My guess is that it’s more of the down time on the arm.

      You’d rather risk the health of your ace than replace him with a relief pitcher after a rain delay in a game against Washington in August?

      • halladaysbiceps - Aug 22, 2011 at 8:58 AM

        I will address my comment. What I said is that I can handle a loss, but not in the fashion that it happened. 1 hr. for a horse like Halladay to sit is no big deal. I remember years ago starters would come back after 1.5 – 2 hrs. after a rain delay and pick up where they left up with no problem. And they didn’t get hurt. Schwimmer, however effective giving up the 1 run in 3 innings, should not have been put into the position of blowing Doc’s 3-2 lead, which he did. You put Schwimmer into a game with a comfortable lead to get his feet wet. And I never attack Charlie. I rarely citicise him. He’s wrong putting Schwimmer in there in these circumstances.

        Halladay’s health is not at risk. You can’t treat this guy like a doll. He’s in unbelievable shape. Ride the horse.

      • phillyphreak - Aug 22, 2011 at 9:11 AM

        Agree with drunkenhooliganism. You’re wrong biceps

        1) This is an August game against the Nationals. There is NO reason to bring Halladay back out to pitch. It’s not game 7 of the WS. This game has no impact (playoff wise/W-L wise) on the Phillies this year. Weight the risk/reward. Its’ not worth it.

        2) I agree that Halladay is not a health risk. But you want him to be fresh for the postseason right? Why add on a few innings after a rain delay? Makes no sense.

        2) You’re confusing being a horse with IP and a delay between innings. Without the rain delay, Halladay stays in his IP goes up and he stays a horse. His arm is still warm. With the rain delay (over an hour- not like 15 minutes), his arm tightens up. His pitches probably won’t have the same velocity or movement.

        Halladay is a horse. But there is no reason to put his arm at risk here. Were you mad when Charlie didn’t bring Cole back to continue Game 5 in the WS?

        Jeez

      • halladaysbiceps - Aug 22, 2011 at 9:20 AM

        phillyphreak,

        I’m an old school guy. I don’t believe in pitch counts and I don’t believe that a 1 hr. 11 min rain delay should deter a club putting back out the horse of your staff that wants the ball to go out and win the game. Roy Halladay is a different breed. That’s why the Phillies are paying the guy 20 mil a year, to win games.

      • Alex K - Aug 22, 2011 at 9:29 AM

        No one is questioning that Halladay probably could have gone back out there and been fine. We’re simply saying that the risk of sending him back out there isn’t worth the reward of winning a pretty meaningless August game.

      • halladaysbiceps - Aug 22, 2011 at 9:36 AM

        Alex,

        I understand that people think this is a meaningless game in August. I get that. I really do. Especially with the Phillies big lead in the NL East. But, for me, I view every baseball game as a must win. I have seen far too often that, over the course of a 162 game schedule, crazy things can happen. You can have a team get really hot and another team get cold, and strange things can happen. In Phillies history, we have etched in our minds from our fathers the 1964 Phillies, who had a 6 game lead in the NL with 12 games left in the season and finished second! I never take anything for granted in baseball.

        Win today. Tomorrow is tomorrow.

      • phillyphreak - Aug 22, 2011 at 9:42 AM

        Biceps…..you’re advocating for leaving Halladay out there. Then you say remember the 1964 Phillies. I think it’s noteworthy to point out that part (if not a big part) of the reason for that collapse was that Gene Mauch pitched Bunning and Short only in the last stretch. Overworked the pitchers. Hmmmm.

        Interesting…..

      • halladaysbiceps - Aug 22, 2011 at 9:47 AM

        Bunning and Short only being used at the tail end of 1964? Big misconception. Jim Bunning even addressed this during the Phillies Alumni reunion last weekend. They were used for many starts towards the end, but there were other pitchers in the mix as well. The big problem towards the end of that collapse wasn’t the pitching. It was the hitting. Other than Dick Allen, the rest of the team was cold, including Johnny Callison.

        Bad analogy. Good try, though.

      • phillyphreak - Aug 22, 2011 at 10:05 AM

        1) I never said it was the only reason, I said it was a big reason. So was the bullpen. So was the hitting.

        2) In the last 32 games, Bunning pitched 10 times and Short pitched 9 times.

        3) In the last 11 games, Bunning and Short each pitched 4. Though there were other pitchers in the mix, they were undoubtedly tired. Only 1 of Bunning’s 4 starts had a game score over 50 (indicating quality start).

    • drunkenhooliganism - Aug 22, 2011 at 8:55 AM

      You keep bringing this up, and you keep being wrong. Halladay was already at 83 pitches, It would have been 90 minute between pitches for Halladay. After warming up a second time, there’s no way, he’s going over 100 pitches. So, you’re talking about bringing him out for one inning? Why? WHY?

      And Schwimmer gave up 1 run in 3 innings.

      • halladaysbiceps - Aug 22, 2011 at 9:00 AM

        I’m not wrong. You just disagree with me. Read my comment above at 8:58AM. Not re-typing it.

    • Jonny 5 - Aug 22, 2011 at 9:08 AM

      Cepts, If the Phillies were fighting for their playoff lives with two more weeks left in the regular season, your comment makes sense. I would not have put Halladay back in that game unless that were the case, or it was the post season. Anyway, why question putting in a guy who did a good job anyway? Bastardo blew the lead in the 9th, not Schwimmer.

      • halladaysbiceps - Aug 22, 2011 at 9:15 AM

        But, Schwimmer blew the lead in the 6th. He pitched great after that. Bastardo made a great pitch to Desmond in the 9th. It was a slider that was low off the left side of the plate and Desmond had an unbelievable cut at the ball and deposited into the seats. I tip my hat to Desmond because Bastardo threw a great pitch. My point is that you don’t put a kid like Schwimmer into that position to begin with. Since apparently the whole bullpen is tired (I find that hard to believe since they haven’t been used much this year with how long their starters have pitched this year in games), give the ball to your horse and let him continue to pitch. He’s Roy Halladay, not Kyle Kendrick. Halladay was built to continue pitching.

    • kellyb9 - Aug 22, 2011 at 9:09 AM

      I’m actually more upset about using Ross Gload for the pitcher spot. It says to me that the team was content going into the bottom of the 9th with a one run lead when they could have scored more and put this game in the W column. At this point, I’d rather the pitcher bat because at least the pitcher has a reason for stinking at hitting. If he’s injured, PLEASE put him on the DL and bring up someone else.
      I know this next statement is going to be fairly unpopular, but the last two and half seasons have all but made me forget what Brad Lidge did for us in 2008. Loading up the bases and losing the game on a hit batsman is pretty bad.

      • drmonkeyarmy - Aug 22, 2011 at 9:15 AM

        I didn’t see any of the weekend games so I can only speak in general….Yes, Ross Gload sucks and should never play. A statue of Ross Gload has a better chance of getting on base. On Lidge, he gets a lifetime pass from me because of 2008. He would have to turn around fire the ball at Utley’s wonky knee then take a dump on the mound before I’d reconsider my lifetime pass.

    • vintage1496 - Aug 22, 2011 at 9:12 AM

      I think it’s right of you to not be concerned about one of the Phillies’ starters becoming injured. I mean, every single one of them have stayed off the DL this year, so there’s nothing to worry about.

      • halladaysbiceps - Aug 22, 2011 at 9:26 AM

        Oswalt has a history of back problems. Same thing with Hamels. They are different. And, Blanton is Blanton. Halladay has no injury history whatsoever. He is a beast in pitching complete games, eating innings, etc. He needs to be treated differently.

      • Chris Fiorentino - Aug 22, 2011 at 9:57 AM

        You are forgetting that Halladay was injured in game 5 in tthe NLCS last year and gutted out 6 tough innings. The guy is like a machine but he is not a machine. And for an absolutely meaningless game, for one more stinking inning, it wasn’t worth having him try to get loose again so he could pitch the 6th. Again, if Bastardo gets that slider about 2 inches lower, Desmond closes his eyes and strikes out instead of hitting a line drive home run and this isn’t even being discussed.

    • Sportsdrenched - Aug 22, 2011 at 10:02 AM

      Biceps is making a common fan mistake. He cares more about the win than the people actually playing/managing the game. Stop that.

      • halladaysbiceps - Aug 22, 2011 at 10:13 AM

        Yeah, your probably right. I’m just a dumb fan that has only watched about 4,000 baseball games in my lifetime.

  5. sdelmonte - Aug 22, 2011 at 8:20 AM

    Welcome to my fair city. Alas, no baseball to be had here today.

  6. FC - Aug 22, 2011 at 8:22 AM

    Well, now that the Phillies have the monthly losing series out of the way, it’s time to wreak havoc havoc again this week :)

  7. Lukehart80 - Aug 22, 2011 at 8:40 AM

    Yeah, Cleveland is dead now.

    • proudlycanadian - Aug 22, 2011 at 9:08 AM

      I never understood why Cleveland traded away their best 2 pitching prospects. The team is just not good enough to contend. I was tempted to ignore Craig’s prediction that Cleveland would win the series, but I do credit him with having the courage to make a prediction.

      • kellyb9 - Aug 22, 2011 at 9:11 AM

        They’re Cleveland… at one point they had C.C. Sabathia and Cliff Lee on the same rotation. They know nobody is going to want to stay there so they trade them away for some kind of value that might help them now or if they are in a rebuilding year which seems to happen more often, they trade for prospects.

      • Ari Collins - Aug 22, 2011 at 11:17 AM

        Because Ubaldo is better than those prospects (although he’s doing his best to disprove this), and he’s signed for this year AND the next two years, super cheap.

      • Chris Fiorentino - Aug 22, 2011 at 11:21 AM

        And they will probably be able to recoup those prospects next year around the deadline when they are 10 games out and Jiminez is back to his old self. I think he is pitching with some type of injury this year.

    • FC - Aug 22, 2011 at 11:36 AM

      It’s irrelevant because neither the Indians or the Tigers will make it beyond the ALDS. I don’t think either team can beat any of Texas, New York or Boston.

  8. Chris Fiorentino - Aug 22, 2011 at 9:32 AM

    There’s a difference between old school and just plain stubbornness. While I respect bicept’s opinion, there isn’t a single good reason to keep Halladay out there for that game yesterday. Not one. Like I said in the other post, even if the Phillies lose their next 15 games, they STILL would be in the playoffs. There is NO REASON whatsoever to leave Halladay in after the delay. Even if he had thrown 40 pitches and had a perfect game, you don’t put him in there. Why? Because 75 minutes is a loooooong time between pitches. Pitchers don’t do that anymore. Sure, you have old school guys like LA talking about what they used to do. Well, this is 2011 and guys don’t get 3 inning saves and pitchers don’t come back after really long rain delays.

    The Phillies didn’t need to win that game yesterday. And again, if Bastid had not thrown one bad pitch, I wonder if anyone would even be complaining about Halladay coming out of the game. The Nationals have the 4th best home record in the NL for a reason…they are scrappy and they don’t quit. They aren’t dogs, like what the Phillies saw out west against the Dodgers and Rockies.

    The Phillies are 16 games in the playoffs in the loss column. RELAX PEOPLE!!!!!

    • FC - Aug 22, 2011 at 11:33 AM

      Who’s panicking? It was disappointing not to seal the deal, but the Nats are scrappy. Bastardo pitched great, one pitch that probably stayed up more than it should have, but give credit to Desmond, I mean he could just as easily hit above it for a ground out or below for a pop fly. Move on. Lidge was predictable, I mean Zimmerman and Morse: .300 hitters… against Lidge? I think Charlie was tired and wanted to go home.

      Today Lee vs Gee!

  9. Sportsdrenched - Aug 22, 2011 at 10:08 AM

    *“Jon Lester loves to face the Kansas City Royals.” Well, duh. Who doesn’t?*

    My freinds and I have a running joke that who ever is the SP against the Royals should get to change their name to Cy for a 24 hours after the first pitch.

  10. yankeesfanlen - Aug 22, 2011 at 10:11 AM

    Craig, please don’t confuse the Empire State Building for 30 Rock. You’ll come out with a small bag of diamonds instead of an “atta boy” from the suits.

  11. Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - Aug 22, 2011 at 10:37 AM

    Sometimes I forget that other teams besides the Phillies play each day. Sometimes I forget they are even playing an opposing team during each game, I just assumed they scrimmaged themselves most of the time.

    • halladaysbiceps - Aug 22, 2011 at 10:41 AM

      Hahahahahahahahah!!! So, El Bravo, are you assuming that the Phillies “play with themselves?”

  12. Old Gator - Aug 22, 2011 at 12:11 PM

    Well, due to some very early morning commitments today I get to post here at a few minutes before noon and I find my meager contribution interred beneath an enormous fuming heap of horsemeat and Velveeta. Kinda reminds me of Dr. No getting buried beneath that steamshovel bucketload of bird shit at the end of his eponymous James Bond novel (yep, that’s really how the book ended – much better than the movie, folks, though it does lack Ursula Andress in a string bikini).

    Okay, here we go: Tweeter Alert! Those donuts and kalisches down at Round Rock* seem to be doing Chris Coghlan even more good than Kyle MacLaghlan. “The 2009 Rookie of the Year” has come off the DL and landed in Nawlins looking very much like he belongs in and wants to be back in the Show. He went 2 for 4 with a double and a couple of runs scored and hiked his Twinkie League average to .444. This does not make our Tweeter look very good, as he went one for four with a run scored and hiked his average just to the Mendoza Boundary, with its formidable irridium layer. In purely statistical terms, he still appears to be sulking. Anybody got John Malle’s phone number? Nyuknyuknyuknyuk….

    As for the Feesh, all I can tell you is that the Iron Giant lined a laser beam off the second deck facade that was hit so hard that the cameraman couldn’t get around on it until it bounced back into the lower deck. Dear Buddha, speaking of irridium levels, if that ball had landed in the ocean off the west coast of Yucatan 65 million years ago we’d still be the dominant species on the planet, which would be twice as unfortunate as the fact that we already are. I mean, for Buddha’s sake, man, that rock made it possible for us to be here, and yet there are all sorts of ten-cent halfwits out there who want to deny that it ever happened. You want ingratitude? Pandering Republican presidential candidates got ingratitude for you! Anyway, other than that, the Feesh stank up the field everywhere they went. You can’t let Feesh play in the hot sun like that. Phew! Maybe they ought to carry an enormous plastic locker filled with ice to climb into between innings, rather than sitting on the bench in the summer heat and going bad in the nostrils of all three of their fans. I mean, you could smell them right through the cable hookup! Or maybe it was just the TPN signal itself that smelled like that….

    *Round rock donuts and kalisches are the best on the planet. Far too good for the technicians down the road who make that halfassed Dell computers. Fuck Krispy Kreme. They don’t even suffer by comparison; they’re negated completely, like the electron that didn’t make it past the celluloid strip – only with 100% certainty.

    • jimbo1949 - Aug 22, 2011 at 12:42 PM

      Gator, I googled lankavatara sutra yesterday. Yes, there is a big wide world out there and I am blissfully unconscious, thus rendering me incapable of understanding such concepts. I do, however, appreciate and look forward to your contributions here.

      • Old Gator - Aug 22, 2011 at 2:21 PM

        One of my favorite Buddhist texts, it’s a gloss on the Ramayana. I did my senior honors thesis by translating the opening chapter, as such. Yeah, I did transcend mere acid for its own sake and studied Sanskrit for four years. Have we got a monkey god for you! Let the creationists have their fairy tales. This is the real stuff.

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