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Jack McKeon rips his team

Aug 22, 2011, 9:16 AM EDT

Florida Marlins v Atlanta Braves Getty Images

Most of the time when a manager rips his team I get the sense that he’s doing it as much to help himself as he is genuinely upset. “Man, my job is on the line here; I had better show some fire …”  It’s human.

Jack McKeon is in a different situation, though. He knows he’s a place-holder manager. He’s certainly got nothing to prove to anyone. Indeed, if there was one manager in all of baseball (non Ozzie Guillen division) who could probably be counted on to say exactly what he feels about his team’s performance, it’s McKeon.

Here, as reported by the Associated Press, is what he felt yesterday after watching his Marlins drop yet another game to the Padres:

“You have to start using your brain and figuring out how to get hitters out … Some of these guys had better wake up. This is the time of the year where you’d better be a salesman and show your wares and how good you are. How bad do you want to be a major league player? This is not a picnic. You’re not on scholarship. Sometimes we treat them that way.”

He was also asked about Mike Stanton‘s home run, and he used that as another opportunity to rip his staff:

“I’m sure he’d sure as hell hit against our staff, because they get behind and lay it in there. Ridiculous. I’m embarrassed and they should be, too. They’re better than that.”

There’s gotta be something really liberating about being 80.

  1. mississippimusicman - Aug 22, 2011 at 9:23 AM

    It’s a shame Dallas Braden already used the “Get off my mound!” line, because I can just see McKeon coming out of the dugout for a pitching change, stopping on the top step of the dugout, and yelling that exact line.

  2. agelardi - Aug 22, 2011 at 9:43 AM

    Gotta love Grandpa Jack.

    • Old Gator - Aug 22, 2011 at 11:47 AM

      You do need to love the Curmudgeonly Undead. Here he is, gamely dragging his heart-lung machine, respirator, rosary beads, portable Transylvanian castle festooned with lightning rods and the machine that goes peeng! along with him to the park every day, along with a knapsack full of Lipitor, Cardizem and Nitro capsules, a quart of Ensure and a sack of Depends, and he has to put up with a team full of quitters, crybabies, excuse factories and backbiters – and then suffer the snide commentaries of bloggers with an excrement fixation. And still he kvetches, bitches and snorts like a dragon with its tail caught between the two big rocks at the entrance to its cave. (Hey, Jack, have James Andrews remove your thagamizer and you’ll clear your cave entrance both ways without any further problems.)

      Incidentally, he’s being too hard on the pitchers and letting the Feesh so-called hitters off way too lightly. The pitchers have been OK for the most part but when you’re pitching defensively because you figger you’re screwed if you give up two runs, you’re gonna press and make mistakes. The hitting, on the other hand – especially the situational hitting – has just plain sucked.

  3. icanspeel - Aug 22, 2011 at 10:10 AM

    After being swept 4 games by the Padres with a combined score of 25-8 you can understand why he is mad. Although the pitching wasn’t too terrible minus the 14-1 loss on Saturday.

  4. Jonny 5 - Aug 22, 2011 at 10:13 AM

    “There’s gotta be something really liberating about being 80.”

    Yeah, at 80 people give you a break for farting at the dinner table. And then again when you excuse yourself from dessert “because you actually crapped your pants during that earlier fart”.

    • cur68 - Aug 22, 2011 at 10:43 AM

      J5, tell the truth now: you’re really George Brett aren’t you? And you don’t need crapped pants to get out of eating desert if it’s pie. I’d understand you making up something like crapped pants to get out of pie eating.

      • Utley's Hair - Aug 22, 2011 at 11:11 AM

        Jonny’s just looking forward to the days when his quirks will be accepted due to his advanced age, rather than frowned on because society has standards. I will get him a prune pie and Metamucil beer to celebrate that day.

      • Jonny 5 - Aug 22, 2011 at 11:27 AM

        All of us will one day poop in our pants again. It’s inevitable. Just because I’m ahead of the curve a bit, it’s no reason to express jealousy now fellas… Prune pie? That’s kind of a scary thought actually….

      • Old Gator - Aug 22, 2011 at 11:38 AM

        Clearly, these xenophobes never heard of hamentaschen. Your disparaging remarks about prune filling are offensive to Jews and even to gentile lovers of prune filling everywhere.

        Well, hey, I needed to get some PC licks in myself after some moron called me a racist for using the term “cracker” a few weeks back. Fair is fair.

      • Utley's Hair - Aug 22, 2011 at 11:41 AM

        Wait…prunes on crackers…?

      • Jonny 5 - Aug 22, 2011 at 12:00 PM

        I prefer my hamentaschen with apple filling. Prunes are for old farts, and here we are talking farts again….

      • Old Gator - Aug 22, 2011 at 12:30 PM

        Dear Golem! Appled filled hamentaschen are every bit as goyische as a corned beef on rye with mayonnaise.

      • Utley's Hair - Aug 22, 2011 at 12:38 PM

        Thanks, Gator’s. After your last comment, now there’s spittle on the inside of my monitor screen.

      • Utley's Hair - Aug 22, 2011 at 12:39 PM

        Dammit…how’s that whole edit function thing going?

      • professor59 - Aug 22, 2011 at 3:42 PM

        I go for the apricot version slightly over the lekvar (prune), but either way, I go for the bathroom soon after…

    • Utley's Hair - Aug 22, 2011 at 10:52 AM

      You are such a poopy pants.

      • churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged - Aug 22, 2011 at 11:18 AM

        What a shitty thing to say!

  5. yankeesfanlen - Aug 22, 2011 at 11:55 AM

    I knew it! Pie causes poopy pants!

    • Utley's Hair - Aug 22, 2011 at 12:23 PM

      Especially when undercooked.

  6. paperlions - Aug 22, 2011 at 12:10 PM

    I’m confused…I mean, this in Hanley’s fault right, lack of leadership and club house awesomey goodness and all that…

    • Old Gator - Aug 22, 2011 at 12:19 PM

      No, it’s Scrooge McLoria’s fault for giving Hanley that horrible crass diamond studded .342 amulet without noticing that it was infested with Pazuzu. Scrooge, that amulet is a source of tremendous power and it needs to be investigated.

      – We have top Santeras and Houngans working on it now.

      Which Santeras and Houngans?

      Top Santeras and Houngans.

  7. ta192 - Aug 22, 2011 at 3:28 PM

    I might be the only person in So Fla who’s enjoying the team this year, but then, I mostly watch to see if Stanton is going to hit one THROUGH a third baseman someday…can’t wait for LoMo to get back, either…

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