Aug 29, 2011, 8:25 AM EDT
I saw “Treasure of the Sierra Madre” on a big screen yesterday. Part of some western retrospective at the local quasi-art house theater. Never mind that “Madre” is more of a noir than a western. There are horses, guns and dirt in it, so that works. Either way, it was easily the best Sunday afternoon time waster in a long time. Here’s what else happened (non-hurricane division):
- Barry Bonds’ conviction was upheld. I suppose if the appeals court agrees that we have a new precedent holding that “riffing for 75 seconds before answering a question” is a crime. So that’s neat.
- Vin Scully is coming back for a 63rd season. I guess that means that his evaluations came back OK.
- Tommy Hanson has a small tear in his rotator cuff. I spent all day Saturday on my fainting couch after hearing this.
- Dayan Viciedo got called up.
- Jose Bautista threw stuff onto the field in anger after getting ejected. Cue the “roid rage” column in 3 … 2 … 1…
- Matt Kemp is a 30/30 man.
- Lots of dumb crap went back and forth regarding those hurricane-outs in Baltimore.
- Shocking: Ryan Dempster has decided to accept $14 million from the Cubs for 2012.
- Jim Leyland: “Pitchers shouldn’t be MVP!” Psst! Jim! Your ace is an MVP candidate! “Well, then, I, er, didn’t mean it quite like that.” That ace is the first one to 20 wins, by the way. Fastest to do it in nine years.
- Now witness the firepower of this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL Stephen Strasburg!
- Carlos Gonzalez is so bad he should be in detention.
- Gravity is becoming a serious problem at the Ballpark at Arlington.
- Michael Brantley’s season is over. I know you’re tired of hearing about every little Cleveland Indians move, but that’s the old Midwest Bias for ya.
- Oh great. Everything was goin’ so smoothly in Los Angeles and now they have to go and add some acrimonious controversy to the mix. Way to kill a dream season, guys.
OK guys, let’s try to keep this week hurricane and earthquake-free, alright?
- Alex Rodriguez hits 659th career home run, now one shy of tying Willie Mays 13
- Pitchers batting is dumb and the DH should be universal 217
- Max Scherzer doubtful for next start due to thumb injury 3
- Protesters converge on Oriole Park at Camden Yards 140
- It sure sounds like Adam Wainwright suffered a torn Achilles tendon on Saturday night 40
- Settling the Score: Saturday’s results 33
- Report: Rangers will pay Josh Hamilton less than $7 million; deal includes opt-out after two years 98
- Suspensions announced for Thursday’s brawl between the White Sox and Royals 78
- Pitchers batting is dumb and the DH should be universal (225)
- The early leaders in MLB’s “Franchise Four” thing have been announced (166)
- The Royals and White Sox had a benches-clearing fracas, five players ejected (155)
- Protesters converge on Oriole Park at Camden Yards (140)
- Kelvin Herrera gets a five-game suspension; Yordano Ventura fined (133)