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Phillies Fever! Get vaccinated against it!

Aug 30, 2011, 1:02 PM EST

Garry Maddox

And I mean in a hurry!  And I’m sorry, but if this is me being a Philly-hater, so be it.  Defend this video at your peril, Phillies fans.

And don’t go with “it was a product of the times.”  Because in 1970s Philadelphia there were more top-flight artists and producers than there were anywhere in the country, churning out some of the sweetest damn soul music every put to slick vinyl. If one of their assistants’ assistants took 15 minutes out of his day he could have put together somethin’ better than this ersatz disco nightmare.

And to be clear: if some bad glittery country song singing the praises of the Braves of that era pops up, I will trash it with equal or greater gusto.  This kind of media is what separates the shameless homers from the rational among us.

If you decide to click “play,” may God have mercy on your soul.

(Found over at NotGraphs by Dayn Perry, who is probably dead now for having searched for this and, presumably, having listened it to it more than once)

  1. yankeesfanlen - Aug 30, 2011 at 1:14 PM

    So the ’85 Chicago Bears weren’t the only team to make Donna Summer gag.

  2. heyblueyoustink - Aug 30, 2011 at 1:16 PM

    Still, it’s not as bad as the super bowl shuffle, Carl Lewis or Rosanne’s national anthem, or Ozzie singing take me out to the ball game.

    Or i’m a blinded homer, one of these two things is true.

    R.I.P Jeff Offord

  3. djdvd - Aug 30, 2011 at 1:17 PM

    There is no god

  4. paperlions - Aug 30, 2011 at 1:21 PM

    They spelled Phever wrong

  5. philly56 - Aug 30, 2011 at 1:35 PM

    Phillieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees FEVER!!!!

    Spectacular.

  6. azvikefan - Aug 30, 2011 at 1:35 PM

    TSOP baby!

  7. twd1165 - Aug 30, 2011 at 1:37 PM

    Around 1975, Cash and Bowa made another song called “Ting-a-Ling Double Play”. The song was so bad that it makes Phillies Fever sound Grammy-worthy.

    “Ting-a-Ling is what the people sing, when everybody wants to see that double play..”

    If someone out there has it, post it to You Tube ASAP!

  8. crankyfrankie - Aug 30, 2011 at 1:38 PM

    Sadly this is not the worst athletes from Philadelphia song.

    Listen this song first and you’ll think that Phillies fever is sung by the O’Jays.

    • proudlycanadian - Aug 30, 2011 at 3:42 PM

      Dave “The Hammer” Schultz was a WUS!.

  9. clydeserra - Aug 30, 2011 at 1:43 PM

    Let Dr. Demento fill in the gaps

  10. kellyb9 - Aug 30, 2011 at 1:47 PM

    I bleed red, white, and sometimes powdered blue (we’re looking into it), but this is just bad.

  11. paulsdamnblog - Aug 30, 2011 at 2:07 PM

    @Calcaterra— Life long Philadelphia fan here, and yeah Phillies Fever, that was brutal. The Dave Shultz song was god awful. The Athletes of my beloved home have never been confused with lyrical brilliance, one more fine example is linked below.

    Buddy’s Watching you:

  12. nategearhart - Aug 30, 2011 at 2:25 PM

    I just checked out the 1980 Phillies roster for the first time…it blows my mind that they won the WS with what looks like a brilliant Schmidt and Carlton, a really good but part time Luzinski, and a bunch of wet noodles. Am I missing something? How did they do it?
    And I’m not talking trash; I’m seriously impressed by it. Reminds me of my ’85 Royals, which was the Brett & Saberhagen Show.

    • paulsdamnblog - Aug 30, 2011 at 2:41 PM

      They got significant contributions from guys like Bob Walk and Lonnie Smith. The back end of the bullpen was solid with Tug Mcgraw and Ron Reid. Bob Boone and Larry Bowa were clutch hitters and the defense was solid all the way around. Big contributions came from Manny Trillo, Pete Rose, and Bake Mcbride. Overall they may not have been the greatest team to take the field but they were a solid team that tended to underachieve and probably should’ve won it all at least once in the late 70’s. Also, Dallas Greene would probably have beaten that team senseless if they didn’t win.

    • 12strikes - Aug 30, 2011 at 2:59 PM

      Just as a side note I believe the song is from ’76 not ’80

    • dasher521 - Aug 30, 2011 at 4:39 PM

      The whole was greater than the sum of the parts. There is such things as teams and chemistry.

    • deepstblu - Aug 30, 2011 at 8:01 PM

      Although the other guys were not a bunch of humpties (especially defensively with Bowa, Trillo and Maddox) I can remember some guy appearing on a Phillies pre-game show in the early ’80s talking about what passed for advanced statistical analysis at the time and saying that Schmidt and Carlton contributed some huge percentage of the value of the Phillies teams of that era.

  13. cur68 - Aug 30, 2011 at 2:30 PM

    My ears, they bleed…

  14. 12strikes - Aug 30, 2011 at 2:52 PM

    When you have 101 wins you get to make trashy songs
    When you have 70 wins (braves) you have to listen to it.

  15. sasquash20 - Aug 30, 2011 at 2:53 PM

    Greatest song ever!

  16. phillyfrank - Aug 30, 2011 at 3:08 PM

    Not TSOP–that would have been from Sigma Sound Studios, where “some of the sweetest damn soul music” was recorded. This was done at Kajem, a little studio in Ardmore, PA.

  17. vicksprman - Aug 30, 2011 at 3:36 PM

    Man this is a classic, I need to find my copy. LOL

  18. sabathiawouldbegoodattheeighthtoo - Aug 30, 2011 at 4:11 PM

    We miss you Robert Merrill!!

  19. xmatt0926x - Aug 30, 2011 at 4:39 PM

    Love the old school Gary “secretary of defense” Maddox pic used with the headline. What did they used to say? 2/3rd’s ofthe world is covered by water and the rest is covered by Gary Madddox. Something to that effect.

  20. dasher521 - Aug 30, 2011 at 4:42 PM

    Another red and white bleeder (glad the powder blue is long gone), that one definately hurts all of the senses. You’re a cruel man, Craig!

    Why is it athletes long to be rock stars and rock stars long to be athletes?

  21. delawarephilliesfan - Aug 30, 2011 at 4:57 PM

    Craig raises an excellent point.

  22. twd1165 - Sep 6, 2011 at 10:02 PM

    Don’t waste time listening to the dork who posted this video to You Tube…just drink some Maalox and jump to 2:30, hit play and get ready for your stomach to wretch!

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