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And That Happened: Wednesday’s scores and highlights

Sep 1, 2011, 5:41 AM EDT

Red Sox' Ortiz watches his two-run home run with Yankees' Cervelli during their MLB American League baseball game in Boston

Red Sox 9, Yankees 5: I was watching this game until Curt Schilling and Nomar Garciaparra started talking about intangibles and how so-and-so has them “off the charts.” Which, given that they’re INTANGIBLE, what freaking chart could possibly measure them?  And another thing: Schilling talked about the game changing, saying that Dustin Pedroia never would have been drafter 15, 25 years ago. Of course he wouldn’t have! Baseball teams HATED good players back then and they never, ever, ever drafted short middle infielders. They were all talent-free giants! That was the style at the time! So yeah, this is why I didn’t watch the rest of the game. Rage issues. Sorry. Red Sox won. Whoop-dee-doo.

Rays 4, Rangers 1: Joe Maddon didn’t let James Shields get the complete game — he was at 110 pitches after eight — but I got this feeling that he coulda pulled it off. Fantastic season for Shields.

Giants 4, Cubs 0: I guess the Giants will always have enough offense if their pitchers shut out the other team. Madison Bumgarner allowed two hits and struck out 11 in eight innings.

Twins 7, White Sox 6: “All it takes is one bad inning to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That’s how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad inning. You had a bad inning once. Am I right? I know I am. I can tell. You had a bad inning and everything changed.” — Jake Peavy.

Indians 4, Athletics 3: Jack Hannahan hit an RBI single with one out in the 16th inning to win it. Cleveland is back in second place, having won three in a row.

Dodgers 4, Padres 2: A two-run homer for Rod Barajas helps the Dodgers to their eighth win in nine games. Insane: the Dodgers could theoretically finish at .500. Didn’t see that coming a couple of months ago.

Tigers 5, Royals 4: A three-run eighth inning brought the Tigers back from behind. Austin Jackson went 4 for 4 and scored three times.

Braves 3, Nationals 1: Chipper Jones hit his 450th career home run.  Derek Lowe hit his first career home run, however, ensuring that Chipper gained no additional ground. Craig Kimbrel breaks the rookie saves record.

Blue Jays 13, Orioles 0: Damn.  The four homers were bad, but getting shut the hell out for eight innings by Henderson Alvarez just adds insult to, well, insult. For the third or fourth time this year I must write that this is a low point for the Orioles. This time I really do think I mean it.

Mets 3, Marlins 2: Jason Bay had three hits, including an RBI single that tied the game. He’s just excited about all of that center field talk, I’m sure.

Phillies 3, Reds 0: Cliff Lee shut out the Reds for eight and two-thirds but loaded the bases in the ninth. Three Ryan Madson pitchers later, the game was over.  Dude totally has a closer’s mentality. Amirite?

Astros 2, Pirates 0: Seven shutout innings for J.A. Happ? Sure. Why not?

Diamondbacks 4, Rockies 2: Nine straight for Arizona. Miguel Montero was 2 for 4 with a homer and three driven in.

Cardinals 8, Brewers 3: Jake Westbrook hit his first career homer — a grand slam no less — to help the Cards take their second straight from division-leading Milwaukee. Solo shots from Rafael Furcal and Albert Pujols too.  This isn’t yet critical for Milwaukee — they could drop two of three in both this series and next week’s series and will still have only lost two games’ ground on the Cards — but they really don’t need to be swept by them.

Mariners 2, Angels 1: A great pitching matchup between Felix Hernandez and Dan Haren that makes me wish I could stay up late and sleep in the next morning in order to catch it. But alas, such is not my lot nor my geography in life. Hernandez goes the distance allowing one run on five hits while striking out nine.

  1. ditto65 - Sep 1, 2011 at 6:30 AM

    “…until Curt Schilling and Nomar Garciaparra started talking about intangibles…”

    That’s about the time my loving wife told me I was insane for yelling obscenities at the television…

  2. Tribe&Browns&Cavs - Sep 1, 2011 at 6:40 AM

    In my head I’m writing a musical number spoofing the Simpsons’ spoof of The Music Man called Jack Hahannahan Can

  3. Reggie's Bush - Sep 1, 2011 at 6:57 AM

    Oh I cannot wait to read Old Gator’s rant concerning his Feeshy Feesh’s defense… What the hell was that?

    3 dropped balls (Gaby Sanchez, Infane and Buck- although Buck recovered because Jason Bay must’ve seriously pissed off the baseball gods) Bonefacio and LoMo bumping into each other, and Bonefacio and Infante’s ole.

    Meanwhile the Mets D was on point, saved Parnell big time.

    • FC - Sep 1, 2011 at 8:45 AM

      Yeah, every morning I look forward to some Old Gator-ade.

    • sdelmonte - Sep 1, 2011 at 9:06 AM

      The Bay-Buck misplay at the plate was hysterical. I was at the game and didn’t know what exactly had happened till I saw the replay. And then cracked up.

      Volstad seemed to have control of his stuff for the first time in ages, so it’s a bit of a pity his team didn’t back him up, especially since Capuano was on the ropes early. But seeing as I was rooting for the home team, I am not that upset by the outcome. (3-0 at the new park for me.)

    • sportsdrenched.com - Sep 1, 2011 at 10:22 AM

      Just think. I former MLB GM thought Buck was good enough to be a part of a Carlos Beltran deal. Am I having issues getting over that? Yes.

      But remember, John Buck, All-Star!

  4. drmonkeyarmy - Sep 1, 2011 at 7:51 AM

    Lee was brilliant for 8 2/3 innings last night. It was a good move by Charlie bringing in Madson. If there is one thing I’ve learned about Lee it is that things can go south for him quickly. Best not take any chances. Going for the sweep this afternoon. It will be a tough one. The Vanimal doesn’t typically pitch well in the afternoon…but Brian Schneider will be behind the plate so hopefully that will even things out.

    • Chris Fiorentino - Sep 1, 2011 at 8:20 AM

      He will probably need an IV between innings the way he sweats..they said it is going to be 95 out there and with that humidity, he will need a few shirt changes.

      • FC - Sep 1, 2011 at 8:42 AM

        Can’t the Reds give him an air conditioned room? :)

    • FC - Sep 1, 2011 at 9:28 AM

      Speaking of Lee I just had to laugh at his mental lapse in running out the ground ball to second. It’s like he just realized he didn’t hit a foul ball, started to run but the guy already had the ball in his hand and he sort of waved it away: “Aaahh, F%^&! it! I’m going to the dugout.”

  5. Panda Claus - Sep 1, 2011 at 8:14 AM

    Wow. Who even knew the Red Sox and Yankees were playing in a series? There’s hardly anyone talking about it.

  6. Chris Fiorentino - Sep 1, 2011 at 8:19 AM

    If I were a Yankees fan not living in NY, I would wonder how the @%#$#^# two big-time homer ex-Red Sox players are chosen to do a Yankees-Red Sox game. As a Yankees hater, I loved it…it was like watching NESN except they seemed to be rooting for the Red Sox more than they do on NESN.

    As far as the Phillies go, never a doubt, although Lee ran out of gas after getting two easy outs in the 9th. I’m glad Uncle Cholly took him out, and I’m glad Madson brought his “closer’s mentality” again the Phillies need him to be solid the rest of the way and into October. Oh and just another bomb from Mr. Overrated. Yawn.

    • paperlions - Sep 1, 2011 at 8:29 AM

      Um….they….work…..for….ESPN….you know….network that was televising the game. I’m sure if there was a “big-time homer ex-Yankee working for ESPN, he would have been working the game too.

      • Chris Fiorentino - Sep 1, 2011 at 8:37 AM

        Oh ok paper…I forgot that Nomar and Curt Schilling are the only two guys who do baseball broadcasts in all of ESPN, right? They could have shuffled the team a little bit. And if there were a big-time homer ex-Yankee working the game, I would have felt the same way for the Red Sox fans. It’s one thing to have a guy like Rick Sutcliffe work a Cubs or Dodgers game. Nobody cares, and he is pretty fair. Nomar and Curt, as much as I love them, were rooting so hard for the Red Sox that I was looking for their pom poms every time they showed the booth. It would have taken just a little common sense to shuffle a couple guys around and you know it. .

      • paperlions - Sep 1, 2011 at 8:41 AM

        ESPN isn’t in the business of objectivity in presentation, they are in the business of entertainment, and putting people in the booth that have a rooting interest or that are excited about the particular game is just good entertainment. They regularly assign college announcers that have rooting interest in teams, even guys whose sons are playing on one of the teams.

        Nomar and Schilling are both totally useless as “analysts”, neither one has the slightest clue what an insight is or how to deliver one, but that is besides the point because that is true of nearly everyone ESPN has do games (I do like the new Sunday Night crew).

      • Chris Fiorentino - Sep 1, 2011 at 8:51 AM

        I think you are arguing with me for the sake of arguing. Everything you said may be true, but it is stupid and unprofessional of ESPN to do it any way you want to look at it. They are supposed to be a national station, and they treated that game last night like they were NESN, except worse. I don’t even think Jerry Remy is quite the homer that Nom-ah is. And since Curt still lives in Boston, he’s pretty much a Red Sox homer too.

        But OK, I guess it’s fine since ESPN is in the business of entertainment that it makes ESPN right and me wrong in your eyes. What else is new.

      • cur68 - Sep 1, 2011 at 9:55 AM

        Hey you guys, quite talking sh!t about Nomar. I mean it. It’s making my Garaciaparra bobble head quiver in rage. You don’t want that thing going ‘live’ and coming after you do you? It has so many twitches and ticks you wont know what hit you and you certainly couldn’t stop it.

      • uberfatty - Sep 1, 2011 at 10:09 AM

        Let’s just all agree that ESPN has absolutely no interest in anything other than getting high ratings. And if they want to throw out some biased reporters and announcers to call the game, they will do it. ESPN is good for a lot of things, but their “ratings at all costs” attitude leads to some truly awful quality at times.

    • Jack Marshall - Sep 1, 2011 at 12:44 PM

      NESN is probably has the most objective broadcasts of any team channel. You can criticize the Red Sox for a lot, but having homer broadcasters isn’t one of their flaws. I enjoy the Yankee radio and TV coverage, but in terms of cheerleading, there’s no comparison. A Red Sox broadcaster who screamed—“THE RED SOX WIN! THEEEEEEEEE Red Sox” Win!” after every game would be run out of town in a week.

  7. cshearing - Sep 1, 2011 at 8:23 AM

    Don’t be so quick to dismiss Henderson Alvarez. The kid’s stuff is damned good, plus he has learned a slider just in the past couple of weeks and it already looks deadly. Great poise for a youngster of 21 too.

    • proudlycanadian - Sep 1, 2011 at 8:48 AM

      Alvarez began the season in Single A. He is a very promising young pitcher. He could have pitched in the 9th inning as his pitch count was below 100, but the Jays decided that since he had never pitched more that 7 innings this season, it was best for his arm to take him out of the game.

    • cur68 - Sep 1, 2011 at 10:13 AM

      Well gents, what a performance by Alvarez for his first win after 4 starts. A 3 hitter shutout. Granted, this was the O’s and they put the ‘whoa!’ in ‘woeful’ but still; they should have been able to do something against a guy with only AA to his credit before being called up. 3 games ago. He wasn’t even wearing his glasses and he just blew them away. Is this a measure of how good he was or how bad they are? Hard to say. A win’s a win, though.

      EE (the player formerly known as ‘E5′) continues to be just a beast at the plate. 5 AB, 3 hits and 2 RBI. That’s a good game, right? I’ve forgotten; which miscreant that comments here was calling for Edwin’s head on a pike? That guy didn’t know sh!t. Seriously, they Jays need to offer Encarnacion a multi year deal based on his offence this season. He’s shown real grit to battle through his poor start and to come on like he has. I’m re glad to be wrong about that guy.

      Brett Lawrie continues to be Brett Lawrie, of course: A hit and an RBI for the kid.

      Even Jose Molina got into the act last night with a bomb of a homer. The earth shook with the thunder of his passage as he rounded the bases.

      Oh and Jose Bautista leads the league in home runs again. Yawn. A 3 RBI night for the Most Interesting Hitter in the World.

      And, in another predictable moment in the game, Joe West blew a call at first. As usual, it wasn’t even close, West was right there and he got it totally wrong. Meh. What else is new?

  8. southofheaven81 - Sep 1, 2011 at 8:27 AM

    So what’s the line on how many earned runs AJ gives up tonight? I’m putting the over/under at 7, plus a bonus 2 unearned runs (let’s say bases loaded walks).

    • Chris Fiorentino - Sep 1, 2011 at 8:39 AM

      I think bases loaded walks are earned, unless the guys got on base via errors. But either way, I think AJ will come up big tonight and only give up 8 hits and 4 ER in 6 innings.

    • joshftw - Sep 1, 2011 at 9:18 AM

      AJ vs. the Red Sox…at Fenway….and you’re only predicting 7 earned runs?

  9. paperlions - Sep 1, 2011 at 8:29 AM

    Joe Morgan says that teams never ever drafted talented short 2B-men….ever.

    • The Baseball Idiot - Sep 1, 2011 at 11:36 AM

      Freddie Patek just said Joe who?

  10. paperlions - Sep 1, 2011 at 8:32 AM

    Davey Johnson is a winner, whose team is 10 games under .500 since he took over (having been 2 games over .500 when he arrived).

    Buck Showalter is a winner, whose team is 4.5 games better than they were at this point last year. Considering that their winning percentage 1 yr ago was .368, and that the roster is mostly young/improving players some improvement was inevitable, wasn’t it?

  11. rollinghighwayblues - Sep 1, 2011 at 8:44 AM

    Curt Schilling was absolutely terrible and unbearable last night. He dominated the entire conversation, the entire game.

    And another thing, for ESPN being the worldwide leader in sports, how do they get stuck with the smallest damn booth at every game? Every time the camera is showing the commentators I feel like the huge ESPN baseball quilt hanging behind them is slowly swallowing them as the game progresses. By the 7th innning of last nights game I thought Nomar was sitting on Curt’s knee.

    • Chris Fiorentino - Sep 1, 2011 at 8:52 AM

      I think Curt was pounding Hot Dogs to the point that it was actually him GROWING during the game.

    • joshftw - Sep 1, 2011 at 9:15 AM

      Curt probably just needs to talk a lot because, looking at how pasty he’s gotten, he probably doesn’t get out much.

      • Old Gator - Sep 1, 2011 at 9:53 AM

        Get him off of hot dogs and put him on horsemeat and Velveeta for a week – you know, like getting an addict off heroin and putting him on methadone. That’ll put the color back in his cheeks, though it’s likely to be a yellowish green.

    • aceshigh11 - Sep 1, 2011 at 9:51 AM

      You mean to tell me that a right-wing Republican managed to come off as loud, obnoxious, aggressive and domineering in a broadcast booth?

      Shocking, I tell ya.

      • uberfatty - Sep 1, 2011 at 10:24 AM

        booooooooooooo. take this stuff elsewhere please.

      • Old Gator - Sep 1, 2011 at 11:07 AM

        Uberfatcat: sorry, it’s all grist for the mill here. If you want your baseball pure,unadulterated, disconnected from the real world of economics and politics within which it is inextricably nested, try regressing to a very early stage of childhood…you know, like George Bush.

      • Old Gator - Sep 1, 2011 at 11:13 AM

        Aces: are we having fun, or are we having fun, watching Rice, Powell and Cheney claw each other’s eyes out over that Volume II of Mein Kampf Cheney just released?

  12. joshftw - Sep 1, 2011 at 9:14 AM

    I saw last night’s game on ESPN, and the previous game on NESN.
    It’s hard to believe that ESPN can make the Red Sox home broadcasters look objective.

    Favorite moment: When Schilling and “No-mah” spent 5 minutes praising Pedroia for his excellent defense on a grounder that was hit RIGHT AT HIM. the only way he could have missed it was if he were literally facing the other way.

    Curt Schilling? Geez, I never thought they could find anyone more annoying than Joe Morgan.

  13. Jonny 5 - Sep 1, 2011 at 9:14 AM

    Lee was just awesome. He has only allowed 2 Earned runs this august 5-0
    Utley is worrying me
    And Chooch. Ahh Chooch. He saved Utley’s butt last night, it was very pretty. Well as soon as Chooch came in and saved Utley’s butt it was pretty, before that it was pretty ugly.

    • Chris Fiorentino - Sep 1, 2011 at 9:31 AM

      Are you worried about Utley because he seems to be hurt? I got that impression a couple times last night, but I couldn’t tell whether he was just tired or what it was. I was like “Shit, after I said he was fine all day yesterday, he now looks pretty hurt” On the one play in particular, Howard’s groundout to short…when Utley went hard around second, and then stopped hard and went back to the bag, he was bent over holding his knees for a good two minutes. I can’t imagine he was only winded…but maybe? Hopefully?

      • Jonny 5 - Sep 1, 2011 at 9:37 AM

        He’s just not been himself imo. I tend to think his knee is still bothering him and they probably have him on some pain killers or he’s just playing with pain. Of course I’m just speculating, but he’s just not “Utley “at the plate lately is he?

      • Chris Fiorentino - Sep 1, 2011 at 9:49 AM

        I am thinking he may just be winded. He spent the entire offseason and spring training rehabbing the knee he may not have the stamina that guys who got to do the usual offseason working out got to do. At least I’m hoping that’s all it is. I still say that next year, he will come back very strong with an entire off-season not worrying about rehabbing his knee.

        Either way, his numbers aren’t bad but they aren’t Utley numbers. He may never hit 30 bombs again, but he’s hitting .273/.358/.448 which is perfectly fine for a second baseman. He was hitting .290 on August 1st though, so he had a terrible August. I think we can chalk it up to him just being tired not hurt.

      • Old Gator - Sep 1, 2011 at 9:55 AM

        Has anyone checked Lee to see if he’s an android? When he goes to the mound these days he reminds me of Ash the android in Alien, whose final words, if you recall, were: “I can’t kid you about your chances, but you have my sympathy.”

        Of course, the only difference between Lee and Ash is that Lee seems incapable of sympathy.

      • Chris Fiorentino - Sep 1, 2011 at 10:41 AM

        And Lee tries to shove the hitter’s bat down their throats instead of a rolled up magazine. But I like the comparison. And I would say that Doc is like Bishop from Aliens…a guy who just gets the job done, but also seems capable of sympathy.

      • Old Gator - Sep 1, 2011 at 11:08 AM

        Well yeah, except that from the opponent’s point of view, every time he takes the hill he violates his obligation to “first, do no more harm.”

  14. phukyouk - Sep 1, 2011 at 9:15 AM

    “For the third or fourth time this year I must write that this is a low point for the Orioles. This time I really do think I mean it.”

    With thier loss and the Sox win the O’s become the second team in August to be Eliminated from Playoff contention.

    yea Craig… def a low point

  15. natsattack - Sep 1, 2011 at 9:30 AM

    Maybe Pedroia could have been drafted. Phil Rissuto (I know it is spelled wrong) was 5’7 and he made the Hall of Fame. However, that was before the draft.

  16. Old Gator - Sep 1, 2011 at 10:28 AM

    Feesh Flush: there is an entire book to be written about the aesthetics of leaving runners in scoring position, and a Feesh emeritus will write it (as opposed to a Crew of the Minnow emeritus, since they don’t get runners into scoring position in the first place).

    In yesterday’s ATH (IMHO the correspondents on CTB are seriously addicted to acrostics, aren’t we? Makes we want to LMFAO sometimes), I explored the possible applications of Einstein’s idea of distended seasonal spacetime (from his third major paper, not well known, on baseball relativity, which amended special and general relativity) and the quantum mechanical gedanken experiment to the problem of why balls sometimes fall in and why they sometimes don’t. Today, I want to consider the theories of the Czech transpersonal psychologist Stanislav Grof’s theory about perinatal applications of the birth trauma to why Feesh batters can’t seem to put a fucking ball into play with RISP without making a nonproductive out, if they put it into play at all.

    First proposition: because most Feesh batters appear to have been born normally, by being squeezed out of the birth canal like a gobbet of toothpaste, they are traumatized and cannot bring themselves to bunt with a runner on third – IE, they are averse to anything that requires further squeezing. It locks the circuits of their telencephalons (see yesterday’s analysis of the structure of the Feesh brain) against their olfactory lobes and they steenk up the place.

    Second proposition: the birth trauma does not necessarily seek metaphorical consistency, so although it is relatively easy to understand why the Feesh can’t execute a squeeze play, it is not as easy to apply this premise to strikeouts, popups and short fly balls for which an infielder can call off an outfielder. It is also possible that some Feesh batters were born by Cesaerian Section, in which case they stride to the plate feeling like they’re walking into the Roman Senate and hallucinate that the opposing fielders are all hiding daggers in their pockets and just waiting for them to reach base. Subconsciously, then, the batters decide to swing over, under or ahead or after the peetch, with the result that they don’t need to linger on base long enough to be assassinated.

    Third proposition: the birth trauma affects defense. I’d like to find out if Chris Volstad and gaby Sanchez were breech births, since Volstad threw off balance at Gaby’s feet last night in the fourth inning, allowing a Mutt to reach first on a dribbler and setting up the unearned run that ultimately killed the Feesh.

    Fourth proposition: The full effects of the birth trauma can surface most violently after long periods of time, like, 83 years or so. Just ask the Curmudgeonly Undead if he doesn’t get the feeling that he’s been through all of this before.

    Fifth proposition: Dr. Stanislav Grof (who loves kiwifruit, incidentally) experimented widely with LSD to explore the roots of his patients’ perinatal trauma disorders. I actually submitted myself to similar therapy on a number of occasions while I was in college, and since I was in college for a long, long time, I had an opportunity to be thoroughly analyzed, which most folks can’t afford these days. I regressed to my first memory, which was of nurses with light blue masks over their faces so that while I could tell if they were sufficiently pneumatic, I was unable to determine if they were cute. These sixty one odd years later, I still instinctively believe that if she looks good from behind, there’s no reason for her to turn around. This can also be applied to how badly distracted Feesh ballplayers must be by the Mermaids battle group (a description that seems to describe what they do better than “dancers” does). One can imagine that after the ladies return to their creche during play, the Feesh are too busy being relieved that anyone who gyrates so incoherently didn’t turn around that they’re not paying attention to what’s going on onfield, much less musing that the choreographers must have sustained some pretty serious birth traumas themselves.

    Incidentally, does anyone have Doc Ellis’ phone number?

    • cur68 - Sep 1, 2011 at 11:12 AM

      I feel semi qualified to weigh in on this one, for a change (I’d weigh in regardless, of course, but usually I’m talking out my a$$).

      So, birth trauma. Of the propositions, I REALLY like prop 2 part b; “It is also possible that some Feesh batters were born by Cesaerian Section”. The vast majority of problem births are subsequent to section (chicken-or-the-egg argument but bear with me). As such IMO we can pin most birth trauma associated with lousy baseball on C-section. Parents have reported that after section their infants seem to be major league head-butters. It is as though the child feels a need to clobber stuff with their heads and was denied using their cranium for a battering ram during birth so they have this unfulfilled yearning to smash things with their foreheads. The solution? Identify all Feesh players born by section. Order them to lean into pitches and take a bean ball for the team. They’ll be on base and posses a satisfied feeling, unlike when they use a bat to hit the ball.

      I like prop 3: breech kids always lie there with their legs out straight and often prefer to assume the ‘pike position’ when on their side. This would definitely account for Volstad’s throw to 1st being at Gabby’s feet.

      An unmentioned scenario is that of use of the old salad spoons: the forceps delivery. Or, for the purposes of HBT; ‘forcepts’ (sorry HB, couldn’t resist). This kind of delivery can cause a nerve crush resulting in partial paralysis if misapplied. Depending on where the crush was you can see all sorts of issues later in life, though often the child grows out of it. A lingering affect might be sudden ticks or hitches in what aught to be a smooth throwing motion. Hence Volstad’s throw to 1st being at Gabby’s feet; he was feeling the effects of a forcept up the a$$.

      As for LSD being a factor, well that’s just crazy talk man. Crazy.

      • Old Gator - Sep 1, 2011 at 11:17 AM

        Cur: I was saving the forceps for Hanley. I think that’s when his shoulder must have been originally injured. I’m not sure if Willie Dixon was a forceps delivery but it might account for his preoccupation with a spoonful, spoonful, spoooon-full……

      • Old Gator - Sep 1, 2011 at 11:30 AM

        Oh yeah, and as far as talking through your asshole, have you perchance ever seen the film version of Naked Lunch? There’s a talking asshole embedded in Peter Weller’s typewriter. You might want to freeze a still of it and have it blown up to poster size, and hang it in your office. That might squirt some balm on your perinatal peccadilloes, no?

      • cur68 - Sep 1, 2011 at 11:45 AM

        Seen it. While in an alcoholic haze, I might add. One of the major reasons I don’t drink much these days.

      • Old Gator - Sep 1, 2011 at 12:52 PM

        I love the scenes of Judy Davis killing cockaroaches with her bug powder breath. Kinda makes me imagine Cliff Lee facing Adam Dunn.

  17. tellyspop - Sep 1, 2011 at 10:56 AM

    Doc’s phone # 321-876-5309

    • Old Gator - Sep 1, 2011 at 11:10 AM

      Why do I suspect that if I dial that number I’m going to get an ear sex line that automatically attacks my American Express card?

      • Old Gator - Sep 1, 2011 at 11:19 AM

        Incidentally, since sex is just a male attempt to return to the womb under more favorable circumstances and a female attempt to relieve guilt for inflicting the birth trauma upon her offspring, it may well also be that the birth trauma figures prominently in the affinity of the professional ballplayer for road strange.

      • cur68 - Sep 1, 2011 at 11:42 AM

        Hey, I was shocked and gratified to discover that grad students have an equivalent to “Road Strange”. It’s known as “Undergraduate Strange”. It’s a good thing my will power is that of 10 (actually I didn’t have a mylar body-condom: some of those undergrads look a bit funky. What’s up with chicks that think ‘grunge’ means ‘dirty’? Maybe I just attract the wrong sort of female: my animal vibes are my downfall) or I’d have social disease by now.

        Also, some questions: are baseball groupies a distinct species from musician groupies and is it more acceptable for smart girls to batt their eye lashes at baseball players these days since Bull Durham made it sort of mainstream for smart women to chase ballplayers? If yes to Part B there, then Susan Sarandon has much to answer for, IMO. Thinning the field for me has left me shopping for those body condoms.

  18. goawaydog - Sep 1, 2011 at 11:36 AM

    The Giants don’t have much to root for these days but MadBum adding a change up to his choice of pitches is awesome. Beware batters everywhere this kid is pure joy to watch and will be for years to come. Some are already saying this will be his team before long.

  19. APBA Guy - Sep 1, 2011 at 12:03 PM

    Fabulous Freudian Fun Frolics this am. Brain smoking, must return to Carl Rogers for sympathy and caring…that’s better.

    Ok, baseball. Except I usually talk about the A’s, and what they’ve been playing in Cleveland is almost-baseball.

    Ever see a kid in high school who could juggle? Did you ever think he might my grow up to be a major league shortstop? Ladies, Gents, and OG, I present Cliff Pennington. Last year, Cliff had a rtot (sabermetric stat for runs attributable to individual’s overall defense) of 14: very good. This year it’s -1. Now we all know 1 year of defensive stats are not necessarily indicative. But based on the number of transfer errors he’s making, which is now starting to spill over into fielding bobbles (he had 3 last night, but none resulted in errors as he was able to get force plays or use his arm to recover and get the out a first).

    Trouble is, he isn’t alone. The A’s continue to suck monkeys in the field, ranking 29th in errors. You say, well, errors produce unearned runs, not earned runs. That’s correct. But as Cliff’s night demonstrates, poor defense erodes pitching effectiveness. Guys try to be too fine, they throw more pitches because they have to get more outs, etc.

    This was on full display last night as the A’s staff recorded 19 K’s in 16 innings against the Indians. This is not pitching to contact. They gave up two HR’s against an Indians team lacking Hafner and Choo, and whose 8 & 9 hitters in the series are 3-25. Those are NL numbers: bad NL numbers. The beeter and average Indians hitters are hitting the A’s pitcher’s mistakes, and hitting them hard.

    The A’s have managed 1 HR in 3 games in hitter friendly Progressive field, and after scoring 36 runs in the first 4 games of their road trip, have now scored 9 in the latest 4 games. Call it regression, call it good pitching by the Indians (their bullpen went 10 IP scoreless last night.) call it whatever, but the A’s were ugly last night, as they have been the whole series.

    Damn near Orioles ugly. Where is Carl Rogers when you really need him?

    • cur68 - Sep 1, 2011 at 12:49 PM

      “Orioles ugly” & “suck monkeys”. 2 new terms to add to my growing lexicon of terms that mean “buggeringly bad”. Thanks man.

      • Old Gator - Sep 1, 2011 at 12:53 PM

        I’d innovate “Feesh Ugly” but it would slight Captain Beefheart.

      • APBA Guy - Sep 1, 2011 at 2:07 PM

        While not as colorful as some Texas expressions, East Bay trailer-park-ese can add a notable contribution to the vernacular.

  20. natstowngreg - Sep 1, 2011 at 1:11 PM

    Congrats to Chipper, Lowe, and Kimbrel, even if they did beat the Nats. Especially to Lowe, whose sinker/slider combination was particularly nasty. Sometimes, you just have to give credit to the other team’s pitcher, and last night was one of those times.

  21. mempusa - Sep 1, 2011 at 2:40 PM

    Even as a 33 year Red Sox fan, I can’t listen to the incoherent babbling of Nomar and Schilling, I choose to mute the volume and listen to The Roots while watching the game. GO SOX!

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