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And That Happened: Wednesday’s scores and highlights

Sep 15, 2011, 5:48 AM EDT

Detroit Tigers v Chicago White Sox Getty Images

Tigers 6, White Sox 5: Detroit continues to be ridiculous. Alex Avila was a hero, tying it up at five with a big fly. Carlos Guillen won it with an RBI single in extras. I know there are people who want to pretend that Justin Verlander is single-handedly carrying the Tigers into the playoffs, but it really ain’t so.  They’ve had so many contribute this seasons, especially in the second half.

Blue Jays 5, Red Sox 4: Daniel Bard had a meltdown and the Red Sox lose again.  The tension from up Boston way is palpable.

Orioles 6, Rays 2:  It would be way more palpable if the Rays hadn’t lost a couple in a row to freakin’ Baltimore.

Cardinals 3, Pirates 2; Braves 4, Marlins 1:  Again the Braves and Cardinals stay in lockstep. Advantage: Braves. Pittsburgh clinches its 19th-straight losing season. I know some Pirates fans. Good people. Their plight is evidence that, if God indeed exists, He does not care a lick about professional sports.

Phillies 1, Astros 0: Roy Halladay stifles the Astros as Philly clinches a playoff birth in a two hours, six minute game. Does this put Halladay a step closer to the Cy Young Award? Just watch: Cliff Lee will have a nearly identical start the next time out muddling it all up again.

Angels 4, Athletics 1: Jered Weaver wins his 17th. It took him 115 pitches to do it, however, which is a bit troubling given that Mike Scioscia is thinking about running him out on short rest next time out.

Giants 3, Padres 1: Two homers for Carlos Beltran, giving him 300 for his career. The Giants sweep the Padres.

Royals 7, Twins 3: The Royals have a four-game winning streak on their hands. We’re checking with the judges to see if the fact that multiple wins came against the Twins means that they get to count it as a full four. No, I’m not picking on the Twins unfairly. Luke Hochevar had the freaking flu and he still tamed Minnesota’s bats.

Rangers 9, Indians 1: Josh Hamilton hit a grand slam that gave a bunch of people free carpet and flooring. God, I love America.

Nationals 2, Mets 0: Just looking at the box score, I’m getting the sense that this loss disgusted Mets fans way more than your usual, run-of-the-mill loss. The Mets were eliminated from the postseason, by the way. Not that I think that added to the frustration, what with its inevitability and all.

Reds 7, Cubs 2: Johnny Cueto left early, but the Reds had plenty of firepower to carry through it.  Ramon Hernandez hit a three-run bomb.

Rockies 6, Brewers 2: The Brewers can secure themselves with the knowledge that a team’s record in September does not correlate with playoff success. It’s OK to skid a bit. It’s not ideal, but it’s OK.

Dodgers 3, Diamondbacks 2: Clayton Kershaw had a one-hitter going in the sixth when he was tossed for throwing at Gerardo Parra intentionally even though he said it wasn’t intentional. You know, the Cy Young race is so close between Kershaw, Hallady and Lee, I am inclined to think that a five inning start, however effective it was, is enough to drop Kershaw down a bit.

Mariners 2, Yankees 1: Rodriguez with a walkoff homer lifts the M’s over New York in 12. If that was the story 12 years ago, it would have meant something else entirely. This time: Luis.

  1. halladaysbiceps - Sep 15, 2011 at 6:40 AM

    Once again, the Phillies bats are cold as ice. They would have lost their fourth in a row yesterday if not for the pitching of the Holy One. Doc’s stuff was just nasty yesterday. His curveball was unhittable. His changeup was devastating. Once he gets a hitter in a 0-2 count, the hitter has no chance against him. None.

    The Phillies badly needed a win yesterday and couldn’t rely on their bats for it. Doc said “no problem, I’ll do it myself since you guys can’t hit right now. I’ll just pitch a shutout.”

    Hopefully, Utley and Rollins will be back in the lineup for the doubleheader today and even this lineup out. Get the bats out. Time to put a hurting on the Feech today for their insolence.

  2. proudlycanadian - Sep 15, 2011 at 7:08 AM

    Tampa Bay was a bit off script yesterday while Boston remained on script thanks to Bard’s second meltdown in a row against the Jays. Nice to see Adam Loewen get the winning RBI. When he was a pitcher, Loewen had a 6.63 ERA against the Red Sox, so he got a measure of revenge.

    • cur68 - Sep 15, 2011 at 8:17 AM

      Good morning PC. Ah yes, another sunny but cool morning here in the old Beaver Lodge we’ve come to know as Canuckistan. I wonder how Brett Lawrie is feeling this morning? A mite contused, if the reports are anything to go by.

      Running into Varitek seems to have left Tek with a case of the giggles and Lawrie with a case of the gimps, since he’s bruised a knee trying to clobber the big fella, who wasn’t even blocking the plate. Yep, taking a page from Scott Cousins, young Mr. Lawrie was ‘playing hard’ in a close game and smoked Old Mr. Varitek. Missed the plate to the 1st base side, didn’t dislodge the ball and hurt himself. Which is odd, because you’d think he apparently is made of 100% pure beaver wrestling muscle and enthusiasm while Tek looks like he’s held together by cobwebs, baked bean sauce and his catching gear. There must be something solid left in that old fella ’cause the score between them was;
      Tek: 1

      Lawrie: 0

      However the greater good was served because the Beaver Wrestlers had their double secret bat yesterday arvo; Adam Loewen and his powerful left arm came through. How powerful is that arm, you ask? Loewen has to be careful when he throws because the sheer power in his south paw can break the end of his humerus, and that aint funny. They put an adjuster screw in the elbow to tune his swing and voilà, one clutch base hit on demand.

      Yesterday the Sox, today the Mighty Yankees. Brett Cecil will try and accomplish something against The Universe while The Dugong can try his stuff out on all those rookies milling around the roster that John Farrell has to run out there.

  3. philliesblow - Sep 15, 2011 at 7:15 AM

    There is no stopping the Tigers. They will win 24 in a row from here on out. Even Brad Penny can’t stop them. Jim Leyland went down to the crossroads and made a deal with Lucifer, just like Robert Johnson did.

    • drmonkeyarmy - Sep 15, 2011 at 7:31 AM

      Jim Leyland wants to be a guitar player? Who knew.

      • proudlycanadian - Sep 15, 2011 at 8:42 AM

        You cal learn interesting things in HBT. Leyland sure looks like he was a former hippie. I suspect that he turned to baseball because he realized that he would not make it in music.

  4. yankeesfanlen - Sep 15, 2011 at 8:49 AM

    Lack of a getaway game kept the Universe stifled at the bats, evidently. Sometime about now they’ll be finally arriving in their hotel ind downtown BeaverLand.
    After this half-the-nighter I’m not quite prepared for a who-needs-to-do-what for the AL East, except this: A four game set in Fenway, Sox v. Rays, means someone is going to fall further back. Or not.

    • cur68 - Sep 15, 2011 at 9:09 AM

      So. Len. My old foe. We meet again this season, do we? Once again the script plays out in The Universe’s favor, does it? The season draws to a close and now all that’s left is revenge, a dish best served cold (like gazpacho). Prepare your self, Len. Prepare well.

      Have you scrubbed the Dugong’s flanks with milk? Oiled the tin in Posada’s knees? Hand fed the popped corn to ARod? Vaselined the brass balls of Jeet’s Leadership? If not, you better get busy. My boys have come to play.

      The only thing that’s unlikely to happen is another collision at home plate between a certain 3rd baseman and a certain catcher. They might have dropped their gloves, squared up and thrown some hands (Which is how they were raised to fight. None of this weak-sauce ‘don’t-block-the-plate’, ‘catch-the-ball,record-the-out’ & ‘shake-off-the-hit’ crap, like you get with those crusty Boston catchers). Alas it’s up to Adam Loewen to confront that hired Beaver Wrestling muscle your lot have smothering AJ’s wild pitches. A little too much ‘thusiasm has left young Lawrie with beard burn from Tek’s grizzled face.

      I predict that crew of Beaver Wrangling Rookies will be there, maple lumber in hand, ready to deal some justice with aw-thor-i-tii, if not score some runs, but not till after they get some autographs and see if they can score Cameron & Milka’s phone numbers.

      • proudlycanadian - Sep 15, 2011 at 9:18 AM

        Wil the Yankees wake up in time to realize that they are facing a team with a winning record? I think not. They will still win the AL East, so they can afford some down time this weekend.

      • yankeesfanlen - Sep 15, 2011 at 9:26 AM

        Tek’s grizzled face? He looks like a squirrel ready for winter with a mouthful of unshelled walnuts, usually.
        Don’t get your juniper delights out too soon, either, cur, the game is not til tomorrow night, and ARod has already been out there clubbin’ and awaiting his comrades-in-arms.
        It does do my heart good to see our #2 and #3 competitors duke it out in that sandlot circled by mysterious motorists when all we have to do is a 2-out-of-3 La-Dee-Da in a foreign enclosed Carolina Room.

      • cur68 - Sep 15, 2011 at 9:43 AM

        Tomorrow night???!!! Well WTF am I supposed to do for baseball tonight then?!! Aw hell now I have to watch some other team play. To add injury to insult I guess this gives you and Joe extra time to get that special vaseline, with extra tar in it, for Jeet’s brass balls of leadership, too. Huh.

        Fine then. Just make sure ARod knows that the Canadian dollar is worth more than that monopoly script he gets paid with so he better know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em, know when to walk away….you get the idea. Actually, since he has a fancy new hacienda in Macondo to pay for, perhaps he might be too anxious to earn some real dough and thus he’ll be an even bigger fish than usual. He better be careful round those maple waving card sharks there in TO: those guys play for keepsies and bait the pot with poutine so he might not be able to help himself. I’m sure his ‘tell’ is drool. Either that or its the smell of freshly popped corn & ben gay causing it.

        Until tomorrow night, then. I gotta go and make sure Farrell doesn’t rouse my rooting interest too early in the mistaken belief that they have a game today. I can just see the confusion on their tousle headed little faces, footy jammies rumpled from a long sleep, teddys under their arms, all woken too early for a game that isn’t till the next day. My poor old heart couldn’t take the pathos.

      • proudlycanadian - Sep 15, 2011 at 11:22 AM

        All 3 games will be played in the afternoon, which might have an effect on Arod given his knowledge of Toronto’s clubs. Rasmus will return from his stint on the DL. He had a couple of hits in his last minor league game.

      • yankeesfanlen - Sep 15, 2011 at 11:26 AM

        pc – didn’t know there was a six hour time difference between NY and Toronto on Fridays.

      • Old Gator - Sep 15, 2011 at 11:27 AM

        I liked that bit about scrubbing the dugong’s flanks. But have you ever trimmed a capybara’s nose hairs? Taken your tapir to the clipping parlor? Marinated your matamata?

      • proudlycanadian - Sep 15, 2011 at 2:47 PM

        Hi Len. I was sure that I had seen in a couple of places that Friday’s game was at 1 PM. It looks as if I was mistaken.

    • The Rabbit - Sep 15, 2011 at 11:36 AM

      Good morning Len and cur,
      I sent an e-mail this morning regarding the 2012 baseball schedule. Get back to me with your thoughts. I’m thinking the Yankees, Red Sox, Braves series will get the most interest if no one minds being that the Braves play on Mothers Day.

  5. Jonny 5 - Sep 15, 2011 at 8:57 AM

    “Does this put Halladay a step closer to the Cy Young Award? Just watch: Cliff Lee will have a nearly identical start the next time out muddling it all up again.”
    Those two are so close stat wise, it’s sick they’re on the same team. Sure they have their areas where they shine, but then the other one does as well.

    Between those two and Kershaw it’s an almost impossible choice imo. I would saw the award into 3 pcs. I really would.

  6. phukyouk - Sep 15, 2011 at 9:21 AM

    “Fitzgerald said he estimates that Hamilton’s blast probably saved customers a little more than $500,000. His company bought insurance for the promotion.” THIS IS AWESOME!

    • yankeesfanlen - Sep 15, 2011 at 9:34 AM

      That’s nothing. If a Yankee hits for the cycle, Dan Plotkowskiwicz wins a Lexus from Lexus of Englewood. If not, a certificiate for a Domino’s Pizza. (Or steak knives)

      • phukyouk - Sep 15, 2011 at 10:27 AM

        thx John

  7. trevorb06 - Sep 15, 2011 at 9:36 AM

    “No, I’m not picking on the Twins unfairly. Luke Hochevar had the freaking flu and he still tamed Minnesota’s bats.”
    -Maybe Manny should be on the Twins, then he wouldn’t be able to hit anything! Problem solved!
    -The Twins should be considered for sainthood for their non-violent ways of not hitting anything.
    -The Twins could be playing BlackJack and be dealt an 11 and they STILL wouldn’t hit.

    • trevorb06 - Sep 15, 2011 at 9:39 AM

      During the all-star break a bunch of the AL players went out to a club. At the club a cute, young blonde went up to Michael Cuddyer to flirt with him while he had a drink with David Ortiz. She left, leaving behind a napkin with her lip stick and phone number. Michael quickly threw it to the ground and shook his head. Ortiz asked, “Ain’t you gonna hit that?” To which Michael responded, “I can’t” and hung his head low. Ortiz then chuckled, “Ah, married right?” Michael replied, “No… play for the Twins…”

    • - Sep 15, 2011 at 10:07 AM

      The Royals have always played the Twins close regardless of the year. Royals fans don’t see a lot of wins so I’m certainly not complaining. But it’s kind of sad to see the Twins Franchise limping along like a wounded dog.

  8. paperlions - Sep 15, 2011 at 9:39 AM

    Never mind the Cy Young, at what point do people start to seriously promote Halladay for MVP?

    • trevorb06 - Sep 15, 2011 at 9:41 AM

      When he’s out of Philly. :-)

      • Old Gator - Sep 15, 2011 at 11:00 AM

        Not gonna happen. He has wins.

  9. Jonny 5 - Sep 15, 2011 at 10:00 AM

  10. Old Gator - Sep 15, 2011 at 10:57 AM

    Here’s a great gloss on Craig’s odd lurch into theology this morning. Okay, God doesn’t intercede on behalf of the fans of losing teams, right? Get this sage bit of insight courtesy of the one and only Judge Holden from Cormac McCarthy’s incomparable horror western Blood Meridian: “If God intended to intercede in the degeneracy of mankind, would he not have done so already?” I always loved that one.

    Fortunately, I have recourse to Buddha to help me remain detached from the ongoing degeneracy of the Feesh because I know damned well that God couldn’t care less, thank you judge. So when you’re sitting by the fire like some great balden archimandrite picking ticks from your skin, don’t waste a thought on my beloved last-place team. They’re in a lockstep of their own with the Gnats, you know – can’t seem to climb out of the cellar like a bunch of teal-toned lobefins. They make coelocanths look mobile by comparison. Yesterday Ricky Nolasco was cruising along on his three year contra…heh, I mean, on his generous one-run cushion – as usual, the only run the scrubbeeni Feesh would vouchsafe him – until he apparently leaped the spillway in the sixth, walked a couple and coughed up a dinger. Local spowrts tawlk raydeeo reported that the Curmudgeonly Undead went ballistic on Ricky for losing his focus in the sixth. No report of him ragging the asses of any of the limpnoodle everydays and their flaccid bats, though. Now if you can count, and I’ve already ruined the anticipation by noting that his teammates weren’t going to do doodlysquat for him the rest of the way, you know where this is going.


    To Feeliedelfia, where one assumes that, in the absence of any impending meteorological anomalies and with an umpiring crew that is not commanded by Cowgirl Joe (sorry Chris and Hal, sounded so good I had to swipe it), they’re going to get processed for Feesh fertilizer (an unwritten rule states that scrubbeenies can’t be sold directly from the big team for ethanol – they have to be sold from the farm, late at night, the way they traded in Soylent Green before congress decided that fuel trumped food – but to soothe the hackles of big agribusiness, they allowed a loophole for fertilizer). I humbly suggest that it will be the Feesh who will be honored by being allowed to sit in the visitor’s dugout and watch the onfield division clinching celebration at some point this weekend. I doubt, somehow, if Scrooge McLoria and the Chihuahua will be there, though.

  11. APBA Guy - Sep 15, 2011 at 12:31 PM

    Ahh, the judge. I still shiver at the thought.

    How bad is the A’s offense? Jered Weaver averaged 87.5 on his fastballs last night, and held the A’s to one run.

    The Angels did what the Rays could not: win 2 of 3 from an inferior team. But still they gained no ground on the Rangers, who continue to look loose and comfortable against the Indians. When you see the first place team’s hitters laughing along with the Indians left fielder at his string of improbable catches, you know it’s because they know the next one is going out. There were more smiles at those Ranger outs than there have been all year for the Oakland offense.

    And of course, the A’s are proud to announce that Oakland is not last in team defense as some have erroneously reported. The A’s are 29th, 5 errors behind the Cubs.

  12. goawaydog - Sep 15, 2011 at 3:16 PM

    The Giants sweep. yay! amounts to scratch but it was a good series for them. The Fat Panda had a gold glove effort at 3rd last night, picking balls out of thin air and twice throwing seeds to first from his knees. We seem to have a plethora of good young catchers in the farm system as Hernandez showed last night. great arm, great defensive catching. Beltran hits 2 dingers for a nice round 300 number for his carreer. I know how much HBT readers like their round numbers.

    As much as I can do to boo the Dodgers I will, but did Kershaw really deserve to be thrown out last night? from what I saw on highlights the kid was dealing a 1 hitter so what was his reason to throw at someone? pitch was tight for sure but was it worthy of being ejected?

  13. pipkin42 - Sep 15, 2011 at 3:37 PM

    Every time I look at the Orioles box score (because who can bear to actually watch the games any more) and see that some pitcher like Alfredo Simon or Jeremy Guthrie who doesn’t figure into the organization’s long-term plans pitched well and the team won, I get a little sad. Because these guys won’t be around and we’ll be stuck with all these failed pitching prospects. Again.

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