Sep 21, 2011, 3:15 PM EDT
Esquire magazine has a regular feature called “What I’ve Learned” in which they ask people for words of wisdom and their latest subject is White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen, who predictably provided plenty of amusing quotes.
For instance, about his wife:
What attracted me to my wife is she’s hot. She’s also nice, she’s a great mom — but that comes after she’s hot.
I tell my kids all the time: When you’re about to do something stupid, think about your mom. Why? Because she’s the one that’s gonna suffer inside.
Or about ESPN Chicago beat reporter Doug Padilla:
We had this media guy, Padilla. He was eating a cheeseburger during the game. I saw him while I was managing. I grabbed the phone, called the PR department, and said, “Doug, you’re gonna choke on that f***ing cheeseburger.” Then I hung up. People wonder, How the f*** did you see him? But I see everything.
And my personal favorite:
A lot of people think I dye my hair. No, I don’t give a f***.
He’s the best.
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- Huston Street says he’d retire if he was used like a 1970s-style fireman 42
- CC Sabathia looks like a reliever 24
- And That Happened: Monday’s scores and highlights 55
- AL All-Star voting update: now “only” five Royals in the starting lineup 59
- Andy MacPhail introduced by the Phillies. And the first topic of conversation is sabermetrics 20
- What a world: Orioles are in first place and Ubaldo Jimenez has been their ace 16
- Settling the Scores: Sunday’s results 99
- With the same-sex marriage decision, the San Francisco Giants get another big win (275)
- Joe Maddon is the latest manager to rip instant replay. He’s got a point. (109)
- Settling the Scores: Sunday’s results (99)
- And That Happened: Monday’s scores and highlights (79)
- And That Happened: Wednesday’s scores and highlights (75)