Sep 21, 2011, 3:15 PM EDT
Esquire magazine has a regular feature called “What I’ve Learned” in which they ask people for words of wisdom and their latest subject is White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen, who predictably provided plenty of amusing quotes.
For instance, about his wife:
What attracted me to my wife is she’s hot. She’s also nice, she’s a great mom — but that comes after she’s hot.
I tell my kids all the time: When you’re about to do something stupid, think about your mom. Why? Because she’s the one that’s gonna suffer inside.
Or about ESPN Chicago beat reporter Doug Padilla:
We had this media guy, Padilla. He was eating a cheeseburger during the game. I saw him while I was managing. I grabbed the phone, called the PR department, and said, “Doug, you’re gonna choke on that f***ing cheeseburger.” Then I hung up. People wonder, How the f*** did you see him? But I see everything.
And my personal favorite:
A lot of people think I dye my hair. No, I don’t give a f***.
He’s the best.
- Settling the Score: Friday’s results 48
- Josh Hamilton’s teammates say he’s in great shape and ready to play 23
- Mike Trout hit his 100th career home run to become the youngest member of the 100 HR/100 SB club 25
- Make that two: Alex Rodriguez hits second homer of the night, giving him 658 for his career 45
- Alex Rodriguez hit his 657th career home run 48
- Let’s all just stare at Kris Bryant’s numbers for a while 28
- And That Happened: Thursday’s scores and highlights 39
- The wait is over: The Cubs are calling up top prospect Kris Bryant on Friday 99
- The Commissioner’s Office thinks that the Angels could indeed go after Josh Hamilton under his contract (153)
- “Why Ted Cruz is like the Atlanta Braves” (150)
- “We no longer need the terrorists. We’re now so good at terrorizing ourselves.” (143)
- Another argument in favor of making the DH universal (127)
- When it comes to Josh Hamilton, Arte Moreno is a craven opportunist, not a “smart businessman” (116)