Sep 21, 2011, 3:15 PM EDT
Esquire magazine has a regular feature called “What I’ve Learned” in which they ask people for words of wisdom and their latest subject is White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen, who predictably provided plenty of amusing quotes.
For instance, about his wife:
What attracted me to my wife is she’s hot. She’s also nice, she’s a great mom — but that comes after she’s hot.
I tell my kids all the time: When you’re about to do something stupid, think about your mom. Why? Because she’s the one that’s gonna suffer inside.
Or about ESPN Chicago beat reporter Doug Padilla:
We had this media guy, Padilla. He was eating a cheeseburger during the game. I saw him while I was managing. I grabbed the phone, called the PR department, and said, “Doug, you’re gonna choke on that f***ing cheeseburger.” Then I hung up. People wonder, How the f*** did you see him? But I see everything.
And my personal favorite:
A lot of people think I dye my hair. No, I don’t give a f***.
He’s the best.
- 2014 Trade Deadline Tracker 2
- The Lester trade is a win-win 84
- BLOCKBUSTER: Jon Lester and Jonny Gomes heading to Oakland for Yoenis Cespedes 145
- The State of the Trade Deadline: Yesterday was pretty sleepy. Will general managers wake up today? 40
- Cardinals acquire Justin Masterson from Indians 49
- There’s a “very good chance” the Red Sox trade Lackey and Lester 53
- Hey, Rube: Phillies pay dearly for Amaro’s misguided loyalty 91
- And That Happened: Tuesday’s scores and highlights 57
- Expert’s Corner: How to troll fans of all 30 teams (201)
- “Caucasians” t-shirts are hot sellers on Canadian Indian reservations (199)
- BLOCKBUSTER: Jon Lester and Jonny Gomes heading to Oakland for Yoenis Cespedes (146)
- Rangers’ retirement gifts for Derek Jeter: Yankees cowboy boots, signed George W. Bush photo (120)
- Must-click link: sexual depravity — and possibly rape — in the minor leagues (105)