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And That Happened: Monday’s scores and highlights

Sep 27, 2011, 5:48 AM EDT

Do the Collapse

Orioles 6, Red Sox 3; Rays 5, Yankees 2:  Tied. The details sort of don’t matter anymore. All you need to know is that the City of Boston now has permission to vomit. Continuously. Through Wednesday.

Phillies 4, Braves 2: The Braves are just a lousy team right now in every facet of the game. And you know what? I’ve gotten to the point where my love of chaos has overtaken my devotion to the Braves. On one level this sucks. On another level, this is kind of fantastic in some sick and twisted way.

Astros 5, Cardinals 4: But even if the Braves are lousy, the Cardinals still have to capitalize on their lousiness. And they didn’t. Depending on Octavio Dotel to give you two quality innings is the sort of thing that leads to that. Dotel gave up a leadoff double to Brian Bogusevic and then committed an error on Jason Bourgeois‘ sacrifice attempt and couldn’t field a subsequent bunt from Angel Sanchez.

Rangers 4, Angels 3: A lot of people gave me crap yesterday for not including the Angels in posts about the AL wild card. Well, sorry. Now they’re eliminated, however, so I guess it didn’t matter.

Tigers 14, Indians 0: Doug Fister vs. Ubaldo Jimenez in the battle of the mid-season pickups. Advantage: Fister. Eight shutout innings with nine strikeouts. Oh, and the 14 runs on 18 hits didn’t hurt.

Reds 6, Mets 5: I’m not gonna say this game was an exercise in going through the motions, but the Reds and Mets combined to use 34 players.

White Sox 4, Blues Jays 3: Ozzie Guillen was released from his contract as soon as this game ended. When reached for comment, Guillen said “#$&%!” Glad to see he stayed true to form until the end.

Royals 7, Twins 3: Melky Cabrera notched his 200th hit of the season in this one. In other news, the word has gone completely and utterly insane and we’ll all be lucky to survive the damn week.

Giants 3, Rockies 1: Seven shutout innings for Ryan Vogelsong, capping off a pretty doggone good year for him. He went 13-7 with a 2.71 ERA and absolutely no one, except maybe Vogelsong himself, expected it.

Padres 2, Cubs 0: My brother and his co-workers were at this game. The tickets were a reward from their manager at In-N-Out Burger for meeting some summer sales goal. He called me from the ballpark before the game and read the Cubs’ lineup to me.  I told him you get what you pay for. Mat Latos wasn’t impressed with them either (7 IP, 2 H, o ER, 9K).

Mariners 4, Athletics 2: Justin Smoak‘s three-run homer broke the tie in the sixth and held up.

Dodgers 4, Diamondbacks 2: Matt Kemp hit a three-run homer which kept him in the lead in that category and extended his RBI lead, but an overall 1 for 4 night pretty much ends his triple crown hopes.

Pirates 9, Brewers 8: And though it was in a loss, Ryan Braun‘s pinch hit RBI double allows him to keep whatever small buffer he has over Kemp in the MVP race. I’m a Kemp man, but my sense of it is that more people lean Braun anyway.

Nationals 6, Marlins 4: And we’re one more game closer to the end of them playing games in whatever it is the heck they call that monstrosity of a ballpark in Miami.

  1. uyf1950 - Sep 27, 2011 at 6:04 AM

    Good Morning Craig. Who would have thought the Best Team On Paper after 160 regular season games would only have 89 wins and still not have secured a playoff spot. You could probably count the number on 1 hand and still have room for a few fingers.

    Anyway, now the Joe Girardi has had an opportunity to rest the regular position plays in shifts over the last 3 games it time for them to put the pedal to the metal and get ready for the playoffs. Here’s to the best and most exciting part of baseball the upcoming post season. Enjoy one and all.

    • amaninwhite - Sep 27, 2011 at 8:14 AM

      What are you talking about? The Phillies clinched awhile ago already.

      • CJ - Sep 27, 2011 at 8:52 AM

        and have 100 wins. Perhaps he meant “the best team on paper in New York”?

      • Francisco (FC) - Sep 27, 2011 at 8:53 AM

        No, that doesn’t make sense either, maybe “The best team on paper in Boston?”

      • uyf1950 - Sep 27, 2011 at 9:06 AM

        Apparently not many of you paid attention to the Sports Media. The Red Sox were crowned the “Best Team On Paper” their exact words before the season ever started. And they continued that mantra through a good portion of the season when talking about the Red Sox team.

      • Francisco (FC) - Sep 27, 2011 at 9:08 AM

        Apparently you cant detect sarcasm. Here let me help you

        *puts up a sign* -> SARCASM

      • CJ - Sep 27, 2011 at 9:26 AM

        maybe the media in Boston did so (you can include ESPN in that if you wish), but nationally (again with the possible exception of the WWL and their Boston-bias) it was the Phillies that were proclaimed the best team on paper.

      • 18thstreet - Sep 27, 2011 at 9:38 AM

        I don’t think it was crazy to think the Red Sox were the best team on paper going into the season.

  2. btwicey - Sep 27, 2011 at 6:23 AM

    Wouldn’t 2 thursday games be the best thing since sliced bread.

    • sportsdrenched.com - Sep 27, 2011 at 10:17 AM

      Except we have 15 games tonight and tomorrow, but yes.

  3. trbowman - Sep 27, 2011 at 7:44 AM

    Someone tell me why, I do the things that I don’t want to do….

    • nolanwiffle - Sep 27, 2011 at 10:41 AM

      Personal responsibility?

  4. philliesblow - Sep 27, 2011 at 7:48 AM

    Since August 1, Miguel Cabrera is hitting .401 and Doug Fister is 8 – 1 with a 1.80 ERA. In Fister’s last 56 innings he has struck out 52 and walked 4. There’s more going on in Motown than Justin Verlander.

    • proudlycanadian - Sep 27, 2011 at 8:18 AM

      I agree. Cabrera is a better MVP candidate than Ellesbury.

      • churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged - Sep 27, 2011 at 8:26 AM

        Yes, if you ignore running, fielding and position, he’s a better MVP candidate than Ellsbury.

        /sarcasm

      • proudlycanadian - Sep 27, 2011 at 9:16 AM

        Ellsbury plays for the best team that money could buy, yet they are floundering. He is not a leader.

      • Francisco (FC) - Sep 27, 2011 at 9:24 AM

        To be fair, if you want players to be evaluated on their own merits (see: Jose Bautista), tying the current albatross known as the Red Sox to Ellsbury’s neck is a tad unfair.

      • proudlycanadian - Sep 27, 2011 at 9:40 AM

        Bautista is the leader on the Jays and is respected by his team. Last season, there were grumblings about Ellesbury by other members of the Sox. In the club house, he is not the most important member of that team.

      • nolanwiffle - Sep 27, 2011 at 10:27 AM

        The list of qualities that constitutes an MVP season grows ever longer…….”Do Player X’s teammates think he’s a swell guy?”

      • churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged - Sep 27, 2011 at 10:38 AM

        Ellsbury plays for the best team that money could buy, yet they are floundering. He is not a leader.

        Ellsbury last 28 days:
        .374/.416/.704 (203 sOPS+)
        8 HR
        21 RBI
        23 R

        Clearly his fault the team is floundering

    • hittfamily - Sep 27, 2011 at 11:33 AM

      Ellsbury has single handedly kept the Sox in this race. The only reason Boston is not 5 down right now is because of him. He can bat anywhere in the lineup. He is the best leadoff hitter in the game, and would be in the top 3 best number 3 hitters in the league. Throw in his steals and the fact he plays a premium position really well, and he is, to me, the obvious choice for most unreplaceable player, and the MVP.

  5. sjhaack - Sep 27, 2011 at 8:24 AM

    “I’m a Kemp Man” sounds like something you’d here in a 1970’s commercial for cologne or scotch. Maybe dip.

    • Francisco (FC) - Sep 27, 2011 at 8:32 AM

      When I wear Kemp, I’m the MVP of the party.

      Kemp, cologne for Men.

      WARNING: Side effects may include and are not limited to, headaches, nausea, empty stadiums, and fierce legal struggles between the the owner of the team you play for and Major League Baseball.

      • nolanwiffle - Sep 27, 2011 at 9:42 AM

        “Kemp” is a fine scent for a run-of-the-mill frat boy party, but if you’re headed to a bacchanalian orgy……try a spritz of “Fister”!

      • cur68 - Sep 27, 2011 at 11:52 AM

        so…not Furbush, then? Personally, I prefer…no, no, too far….

    • nyetjones - Sep 27, 2011 at 10:50 AM

      Given Craig’s preference for the hairless look, I would have pegged him as a Braun guy.

      • kiwicricket - Sep 27, 2011 at 12:18 PM

        To be fair, I don’t think it’s entirely his preference.

      • nolanwiffle - Sep 27, 2011 at 1:41 PM

        Yes, it would seem that these days God is Craig’s barber.

  6. Bill - Sep 27, 2011 at 8:36 AM

    If you want a picture of the future, imagine Derek Lowe’s cleat stomping on our dreams, forever.

  7. Old Gator - Sep 27, 2011 at 9:09 AM

    The Feesh boolpen imploded just like in the good old days last night, and in comparable style too: a couple of hits to open the inning, two outs to bring matters to the cusp of relief, and a three run bomb to Morse to conclude the discussion. Note that trailing by a run with a runner on base in the bottom of the eighth inning, Atahualpa Severino (my new favorite name of anybody in baseball) pitched around the Iron Giant. An inning later, clinging to a one run lead with two in scoring position and first base open, the Feesh decided to pitch to Morse (29 HRs, now 30). Oy. Make that a nice five game skid to bring us to our antepenultimate game of the season.

    And it so happens that Joeprodolsharklife Stadium is a perfectly fine place for baseball; it’s just on the wrong latitude. I’ll miss those big empty parking lots with superb options for positioning my car right by the gate and quick escape to the Turnpike or Palmetto on any night the Mutts, Borg or Cubs aren’t in town. When you walk out into your seating section on a sunny day, there sprawls the eternal paradise of the baseball diamond under a clear blue sky. You take your seat. Your hair singes. Your ass crisps, sealing in all your natural freshness. Your ice cream melts. And Jayson Worth makes an error out by the barely discernible ghost of the 40-yard line…..

    • Francisco (FC) - Sep 27, 2011 at 9:17 AM

      What? No mention of the second coming of the Grim Reaper otherwise known as Ozzzzzzzz….? You have to admit he fits down there in Macondo, the All Powerful Wizard….

      • Old Gator - Sep 27, 2011 at 2:14 PM

        I know Santeras who can conjure rings around that greasy bufone. Problem with houngans is that they complain about Slobbering Ozzie dolls leaching goat fat whenever you stick pins in them.

      • Francisco (FC) - Sep 27, 2011 at 2:52 PM

        I’m not saying otherwise, you do remember how fraudulent the Wizard of Oz was in the storybooks right?

      • Old Gator - Sep 27, 2011 at 8:23 PM

        No, but I do remember how they conned Zed in Zardoz…..

    • proudlycanadian - Sep 27, 2011 at 9:17 AM

      Are you ready for Ozzie “show me the money” Guillen as the new manager of the fish?

    • kiwicricket - Sep 27, 2011 at 9:39 AM

      “You take your seat. Your hair singes. Your ass crisps, sealing in all your natural freshness”
      -Does Scrooge charge extra for this??

      Buy the way Gator…..Outstanding choice of Masala’s.

      • Old Gator - Sep 27, 2011 at 2:15 PM

        Yep – my daily dosa.

        Hee hee hee….

    • APBA Guy - Sep 27, 2011 at 12:02 PM

      My understanding is that the new stadium will be open around the sides, like in Seattle, so that toasty air and humidity will still be weighing down oppressively. You’ll only be missing the direct sun and torrential rain. I’d say a double mojito is called for in those conditions.

    • natstowngreg - Sep 27, 2011 at 1:28 PM

      The Fish announced a crowed of a little over 21,000. Proving that official attendance figures are fraudulent. Instead, they should announce “tickets sold” and at least be honest about it.

      The crowd (pitiful as it was) was bolstered by Chris Marrero’s family and friends. One of whom held up a sign pointing out that Marrero had more fans at the game than the Fish.

  8. yankeesfanlen - Sep 27, 2011 at 9:19 AM

    With the Red Sox in such duress, and because I’ve had no reason to mention him in months, I hereby offer THE FAT TOAD to pitch against Baltimore tomorrow.

    • Francisco (FC) - Sep 27, 2011 at 9:21 AM

      They’d have better luck if they used the Hypnotoad on the mound.

    • APBA Guy - Sep 27, 2011 at 12:00 PM

      Fabulous! I knew you’d work in a FAT TOAD before the end of the regular season.

      • yankeesfanlen - Sep 27, 2011 at 12:05 PM

        APBA – I have to thank my friends the Phillies fans for teaching me how to work my agenda into every post.

  9. kiwicricket - Sep 27, 2011 at 9:30 AM

    Beltran .302AVG 21HR 83RBI
    Wells .220AVG 25HR 66RBI

    I hate to inform, that Craig will not be eating a hat for our amusement.

    • cur68 - Sep 27, 2011 at 11:56 AM

      Lucky thing, too. Felt is completely indigestible. Next time he should threaten to write a pro-McCourt/Wilpon post if he loses a bet.

      • kiwicricket - Sep 27, 2011 at 12:25 PM

        Is it common knowledge felt is indigestible? Why do I not know of this

      • cur68 - Sep 27, 2011 at 2:30 PM

        Felt is usually wool or the fur of rabbits all matted down with pressure and steam (if you want the good quality stuff use steam). I happen to know it’s completely indigestible because we once had to remove a large quantity from a psych patient with pica who’d been admitted via the ER. We also got a 1/2 inch nut & bolt, $1.85 in change, assorted lego, and 2 AA cell batteries out of him. His pre-op xray was a legend the moment we threw it on the viewer. He’d eaten his wooly hat for some reason and chased it with the other stuff. Craig needs to be sending Mr. Beltran a fruit basket.

  10. icanspeel - Sep 27, 2011 at 9:53 AM

    The Padres may stink, but 1 benefit of living in a city with a bad team is you get lots of opportunities for free tickets to the game. Nothing like free tickets to the game and 10 dollar beers

    • sportsdrenched.com - Sep 27, 2011 at 10:23 AM

      I’m familiar with this concept. I had a vendor give me free Royals tickets once. Went through the contacts in my phone. No one would take them. I eventually left them under some poor saps windshield wipers at a grocery store.

  11. Tyree Studio - Sep 27, 2011 at 10:14 AM

    Dayton Moore was an idiot signing Melky Cabrera to a cheap 2 year deal…

  12. gbsimons - Sep 27, 2011 at 10:31 AM

    The Cardinals spit the bit when LaRussa called for a sac bunt in the eighth after Berkman tied the game with a double.

    With no outs, “The Genius” puts in Adron Chambers to run for Berkman – smart move, because the speedy Chambers should score on just about any hit. Then he has Theriot lay down a bunt to move Chambers to third (and Molina to second). Ummm…why?

    A pop out and ground out later, the inning is over.

    Apparently La Russa didn’t think Theriot, Jay or Punto could get a ball through the infield to score Chambers. Granted, Jay and Punto didn’t, but Theriot didn’t even get the chance.

    Now that’s overmanaging.

    • baccards - Sep 27, 2011 at 10:42 AM

      Given the Cards proclivity for DP’s and a shot at a sacrifice fly by Jay I thought he did right – Depending on Theriot to get the Chambers to third was iffy at best..Dotel tho,another story

  13. Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - Sep 27, 2011 at 10:36 AM

    “And you know what? I’ve gotten to the point where my love of chaos has overtaken my devotion to the Braves. On one level this sucks. On another level, this is kind of fantastic in some sick and twisted way.”

    You’d never hear a Phillies fan say this. At least not in the past five years….how sad (and yes, sick and twisted). Will someone give Craig a hug and tell him we’ll be okay?

    • Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - Sep 27, 2011 at 10:37 AM

      For the record: I would never say such craziness either. There’s nothing fantastic about your favorite team collapsing. If they DO collapse, it will be Craig’s fault in a some “sick and twisted” way.

      • Francisco (FC) - Sep 27, 2011 at 11:29 AM

        I may have to give “El Bravo” a guest post in the Lair.

      • Utley's Hair - Sep 27, 2011 at 11:41 AM

        “You’d never hear a Phillies fan say this.”
        “For the record: I would never say such craziness either.”

        Coincidence? I think Heyward—who also grounded out to end the game :P—is a Phightins Phan.

      • Jonny 5 - Sep 27, 2011 at 12:31 PM

        That’s true UT. Heyward grew up a Phills fan.

      • Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - Sep 27, 2011 at 12:43 PM

        Heyward is so pissed at Heyward, that Heyward might have to change his name to The Artist Formerly Known as Heyward next season :(

  14. APBA Guy - Sep 27, 2011 at 12:08 PM

    Texas’ elimination of the Angels will hopefully provoke scrutiny of the Angels decision to let Napoli leave in light of the doubts about Morales fitness over last offseason. While Scioscia deserves credit for bring this offensively challenged team close to a playoff spot, perhaps the Rangers deserve even more credit for picking up Napoli and his 1.030 OPS and getting useful catcher starts out of him. Judicious use of the catchers in the 100 degree heat over the summer has both Napoli and Torrealba looking fresh and fit for the post season. Also, at what point did the Angels miss reading the trends on power and offense over the past five years? You simply do not let an offensive talent like Napoli leave until he’s too old and feeble to be effective anymore.

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