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The White Sox will get Osvaldo Martinez and a minor league pitcher for Ozzie Guillen

Sep 27, 2011, 9:45 AM EDT

Chicago White Sox v Cleveland Indians Getty Images

Manager “trades” aren’t really trades as we know of them in baseball. They’re just business transactions in which one team allows a manager out of his contract and, normally, is compensated in the form of players. Looks like a trade. Fun to talk about as a trade. But it’s not technically a trade, simply because managers’ contracts aren’t part of some collective bargaining structure that allows them to be traded from team to team.

But we can still, for the fun of it, call this Ozzie-Guillen-to-the-Marlins thing a trade, and if we do that we can talk about what the White Sox are getting in return.  And that return, according to Jesse Sanchez of, is Osvaldo Martinez and a minor league pitcher.

Martinez, a shortstop, played in the 2010 Futures Game, but he’s not the toppermost of the poppermost in terms of prospects. He hit .300 at double-A last year, but he generally fits the slick-fielding, no-bat mold of shortstops. Which has value now that it’s not 1999 anymore, but he’s not some game-changer.  Certainly not as valuable as someone like Logan Morrison, who at one time was rumored to be the return for Guillen.  Not sure if I believe that was ever serious, though. More fun than plausible.

At this point, of course, I think Chicago would have taken just about anything. Guillen was pretty nifty for a long time, but that relationship is obviously so damaged that it wouldn’t take a ton of compensation for Kenny Williams to allow him to skate.

  1. 4d3fect - Sep 27, 2011 at 9:48 AM

    Old Gator post arriving in one..two…three…

    • wlschneider09 - Sep 27, 2011 at 9:58 AM

      So far, Gator hasn’t risen to the bait on the Oz topic, so to speak.

    • Francisco (FC) - Sep 27, 2011 at 10:04 AM

      Old Gator post has been postponed due to massive bouts of vomiting and cardiac conditions. Please keep your ticket stubs as MLB re-schedules the Old Gator post.

      • 4d3fect - Sep 27, 2011 at 10:25 AM

        (Graham Chapman voice)

        Wait for it….

      • Old Gator - Sep 27, 2011 at 10:57 AM

        “Looks like a trade.”

        Bullshit. It is a trade. In terms of the lopsidedness of the value transacted, right down there in terms of ultimate net gain/loss with Cabrera for Maybin and Miller. This would be true if Martinez and the anonymous peetcher were total flops at the major league level – assuming, of course, that Slobbering Ozzie will prove an even bigger one.

        Craig, sorry I didn’t include the Pepto-Bismol in your aid package. I needed to drink it all myself last night.

        Sorry I was late, folks. My daughter just landed the coolest job you ever heard of, especially if you’re a train freak. Celebratory breakfast of huevos pericos with arepas and some life-giving cafe con leche. She’s out this morning learning how to drive a locomotive. A real one. Seriously. And that’s only part of it. Buddha in his infinite kindness smiled upon my heart at a moment of undifferentiated nausea and despondency.

        And the Tathagata has lit the way, too, to my seeing the good so often deeply hidden in all turns of fate: think of all the great pejorative terms I’m going to learn and synthesize over the next few years, while Slobbering Ozzie wears out his welcome in Macondo. Think of all the heights of poetic revilement to which I will rise, solely for the entertainment of you at home. As the immortal (though dead) Bodhisattva Jerry has sung, “Sorry that you feel that way / Only thing there is to say / Every silver lining’s got a touch of gray….”

        Now I have to go over to the pet shop to buy a mouse for Friendo – a mouse which, of course, I will name “Ozzie” for the purposes of spending the last few minutes of its miserable rodent life unencumbered by anonymity as well as the humiliation of a truly wretched incarnation. On yet another bright side, of course, being fed to a rattlesnake will absolve it of a lot of rotten karma and militate against it coming back as a Republican in its next samsaric cycle.

      • jimbo1949 - Sep 27, 2011 at 11:11 AM

        Gator, congrats from a retired railroader. Hope your daughter succeeds and finds joy in her career. Passenger or freight?

      • Francisco (FC) - Sep 27, 2011 at 11:19 AM

        So at least the trains will run on time in Macondo! Good news!

      • natstowngreg - Sep 27, 2011 at 12:37 PM

        Running trains. Very cool.

      • Old Gator - Sep 27, 2011 at 2:07 PM

        Jimbo: live squirming kvetching passengers. It’s a railroad museum curatorship but she gets the added bonus of learning how to drive these things on short rides. She’ll be learning for a while – most of her time will be spent planning exhibits and events and schmoozing journalists, something she’s very good at as a trained actress with a background in “directing” improvs in London while her day job was museum guide training and curatorship in a variety of well-known locales – including the stint that probably clinched it for her, the London Transport Museum. She also became an “expert” on the Titanic while being primary guide and hostess for the big Titanic bicentennial exhibit at the Millenium Dome (now the O² Dome) – so as her room fills up with railroading history books, I fully expect another wave of quick study. Should be a hoot watching her. My only regret – Daddy as inertial factor – is that she’ll now be making enough money to find herself an apartment and move out of here again. Sigh.

    • jimbo1949 - Sep 27, 2011 at 11:03 AM

      Please, give the man some time to grieve. Although you knew it was coming, it’s still tough to take. Give Gator some time to process this and come up with a plan to deal with this, …. or not.

      I would prescribe selective amnesia 😮

      • Old Gator - Sep 27, 2011 at 1:56 PM

        Okay, let’s see, I have the Yellow Pages…hmmm…”Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind – most insurance accepted”….hmmmm…..

  2. tashkalucy - Sep 27, 2011 at 10:05 AM

    A steal for the White Sox.

    They should have had to pay to get the cancer out of their clubhouse.

    What manager talks abut his wanting an extension during the stretch run with his team in contention? His players knew what his priority was, and it wasn’t winning.

    Ozzie will have a good first year in Miami, and can hang around for a few more as the team plays to the Spanish-speaking population in the area…..until they figure out that while he’s one of hem, he’s not a very good manager.

    Then Ozzie can move onto his real calling – being on the TNT pre and post baseball game shows as he attempts to be another Charles Barkley.

    Ozzie as a manager and a talker reminds me of the Will Rogers saying – “liberty plays far better in speeches then in practice”.

    • Old Gator - Sep 27, 2011 at 11:03 AM

      Will Rogers also said he never met a man he didn’t like. But he never met Ozzie, did he?

  3. pisano - Sep 27, 2011 at 10:20 AM

    If he does move on to TNT, they better have sub-titles in place because this guy is unintelligible. Better yet when he blows the job with the Marlins, how about going back to Venezuela and being Hugo Chavez’s fetch boy.

    • Old Gator - Sep 27, 2011 at 11:04 AM

      He already is Hugo’s fetch boy. It’s just inadvertent, like whatever success he’s had. Every time he opens his mouth on the subject of Venezuelan politics, his very incoherence argues for the revolution.

  4. humanexcrement - Sep 27, 2011 at 10:23 AM

    An interesting character. Too bad the act has worn itself out. Nobody in Florida gives a flying fuck if they live or die, whether they have a new stadium or not. I think they’re bringing him in to act like a jackass and attract attention to the team and therefore make more money. Next they’ll trade for Colby Rasmus.

  5. sabathiawouldbegoodattheeighthtoo - Sep 27, 2011 at 10:24 AM

    Ozzie and Loria deserve each other.

    • Old Gator - Sep 27, 2011 at 11:00 AM

      @humanexcrement and sabathia etc. – you both nailed it. Thanks for saving me the wear and tear on my fingertips.

  6. tmohr - Sep 27, 2011 at 10:31 AM

    “He hit .300 at double-A last year, but he generally fits the slick-fielding, no-glove mold of shortstops.”

    Assuming Craig means no-hit, not no-glove (since what he wrote doesn’t make sense), Martinez is eerily reminiscent of Ozzie when he came up.

    • dlevalley - Sep 27, 2011 at 10:43 AM

      I don’t know, I was kind of enjoying picturing a slick-fielding ss who couldn’t afford a glove playing in AA.

      Jerry: “So, we’re getting this guy from Florida, and he can field?”
      Kenny: “Just wait until we give him a glove!”

    • Old Gator - Sep 27, 2011 at 11:02 AM

      Every time I try to swallow a bite of eggs and arepa this morning, Ozzie comes back up. A-yeeeerrrrggggghhhhhh….

  7. anybodyinhere - Sep 27, 2011 at 11:27 AM

    I think Ozzie has to pass through waivers before this deal can be finalized…

    • Old Gator - Sep 27, 2011 at 1:58 PM

      Shouldn’t be too difficult. A clown feesh passes through an anemone’s tentacles without any problem.

    • ta192 - Sep 27, 2011 at 2:22 PM

      No waivers, just needs Tallahassee to confirm that he actually won the lottery and he’s escaped the Feeshbowl…

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