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Prepare for Brian Wilson to sell you Chalupas

Oct 5, 2011, 11:00 AM EDT

brian wilson getty wide Getty Images

I thought the idea behind those Taco Bell ads with Mariano Rivera from last postseason was pretty clever.  The execution was a bit off — seemed rather local-used-car-ad-quality and Joe Girardi and Rivera are not, alas, a great actors — but the ad was fun, at least before they decided to run it every half inning.

Taco Bell is doing it again this year, but this time they’re going with someone with a few more theatrical bonafides: Brian Wilson.  The description of the ads, sent to me by the ad agency because they want free advertising:

Titled “Closer 2.0, it’s a follow-up to last year’s commercial with the Yankees’ Mariano Rivera and Joe Girardi, where Girardi has to call in Rivera to finish a customer’s XXL Chalupa as it’s too big.  Well: an exact follow-up to last year is the director’s idea for this current spot.  With hair-and-makeup stylists including a woman with a Roman Bacchus-style beard groomer, Wilson’s sense of grandeur leads to other ideas of how the commercial should go, zany ideas that – like the size of the XXL Chalupa – play off of his extra-large personality.

They probably could have just said “Wilson is a big ‘Archer’ fan,” because that’s clearly what he’s going for when he claims to be “Black Ops!”  You can watch two versions of the Wilson ads here plus — if you really, really like Wilson — a making of video here.

Personally, I’ll be at Chipotle. Don’t complain, ad agency. I gave you some exposure for free. If you want me to not say that Chipotle is way better than anything you can get at Taco Bell, you’re gonna have to pay us. This is America and that’s how it works.

  1. thecapedbandito - Oct 5, 2011 at 11:06 AM

    This is the worst idea ever. The last thing I want to think about after staring at that thing on his face is eating.

    • kiwicricket - Oct 5, 2011 at 11:54 AM

      I’m curious as to what the first thing is??

      • Max Power - Oct 5, 2011 at 1:00 PM

        Brilliant!

  2. 4d3fect - Oct 5, 2011 at 11:07 AM

    Black curly hair and Mexican food. Not a combination I want to contemplate, if you know what I mean, but thanks anyway.

    • Jonny 5 - Oct 5, 2011 at 11:10 AM

      Something against a bearded taco??? hmmm?

      • 4d3fect - Oct 5, 2011 at 11:19 AM

        Well played, sir, well played.

      • Alex K - Oct 5, 2011 at 11:20 AM

        Comment of the day!

      • churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged - Oct 5, 2011 at 11:24 AM

        Something against a bearded taco??? hmmm?

        Phrasing!

      • kiwicricket - Oct 5, 2011 at 11:52 AM

        R16 – but still gets the bonus points. Nice work.

  3. Jonny 5 - Oct 5, 2011 at 11:09 AM

    I would like Brian Wilson much more if he were to shave. I’d also accept if he just stopped dying it, maybe braid it all biker style or something… Anything but that dumb big black bush. It was cool for the anomaly that was 2010, but it’s old now.

    • thecapedbandito - Oct 5, 2011 at 11:13 AM

      That big black bush just landed him in a Taco Bell commercial. Exactly why he’s bearding us to death.

  4. hasbeen5 - Oct 5, 2011 at 11:16 AM

    Moe’s is much better than Chipotle.

    • paralamaleta - Oct 5, 2011 at 11:34 AM

      qdoba hands down the best

  5. philly56 - Oct 5, 2011 at 12:10 PM

    Hasn’t MLB milked the “isn’t brian wilson outragous!?!?!?!” bandwagon to death already? Well, he WOULD agree to put his name on crappy, unhealthy Mexican food that doesn’t even use real beef. Whatever he can do to keep himself relevant, apparently. Ryan Howard, on the other hand, stars in a Subway commercial – because HE obviously cares about the obesity epidemic in this country, I mean he even says things like “you gotta eat right” and mentions an egg white sandwich iirc.

    • Max Power - Oct 5, 2011 at 1:04 PM

      I can’t tell if this comment is sarcastic or not.

    • ltzep75 - Oct 5, 2011 at 3:27 PM

      It’s clear that Ryan Howard is the most overrated Subway “actor” in the game right now. All he does is benefit from the many varieties of subway sandwich, inflating his endorsement totals…

  6. foreverchipper10 - Oct 5, 2011 at 1:36 PM

    Craig,

    I hope you are fully stocked on Chipolte-away.

  7. Chris Fiorentino - Oct 5, 2011 at 2:11 PM

    Chipotle is the place that only sells burritos, right? You can get 4 different kinds and you tell them what you want in them…Subway-style? I was in there once…eh. Was OK. I like qdobo better. Then there’s always the homeless shelter on Mexican night. Then the dog food aisle at Petco. Then, when everything else is closed, there’s Taco Bell…or fasting.

    • Jonny 5 - Oct 5, 2011 at 3:10 PM

      Panchero Mexican grills are popping up around here, which are pretty frigging good.

      • uberfatty - Oct 5, 2011 at 5:16 PM

        YES. They make the tortilla fresh and use a sppon-like device to mix up the fixins before folding. Usually by the end the tortilla breaks though so a fork is required.

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