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Shane Victorino: “There was poo everywhere”

Oct 5, 2011, 12:16 PM EDT

Milwaukee Brewers v St. Louis Cardinals Getty Images

Even after the Phillies took a 2-1 series lead over the Cardinals yesterday Shane Victorino mostly just wanted to talk about the Budweiser Clydesdales being part of the on-field pregame festivities in St. Louis, telling Jim Salisbury of CSNPhilly.com:

How about the horses? They went around a second time and crapped all by our dugout. It smelled awful. I think they did it on purpose. There was poo everywhere.

That’s obviously the leader in the clubhouse for best quote of the postseason and Salisbury described Victorino as “giddy” while uttering it.

  1. dailyrev - Oct 5, 2011 at 12:19 PM

    That wasn’t the horses; it was the ghost of Ed McMahon…

  2. dailyrev - Oct 5, 2011 at 12:21 PM

    the Victor’s comin’, let’s hear that call -
    when you say crap you’ve said it all
    when you say crap you’ve said it all!

    (old commercial, you need age and a long memory to understand)

    • nolanwiffle - Oct 5, 2011 at 1:02 PM

      Here comes the dung
      Here comes the big number two

      (same jingle, first verse)

    • CJ - Oct 5, 2011 at 1:51 PM

      I have neither…my loss I presume.

  3. Jonny 5 - Oct 5, 2011 at 12:29 PM

    He also was quoted about an extra man on the field for the Phills too. A little grey squirrel ran across the field squeaking the tune to “high hopes” Then the Bomb happened. He’seasilydistractedohlookasquirrelthatShaneis.

  4. steveohho - Oct 5, 2011 at 12:34 PM

    “There was poo everywhere” You should see Washington D.C. Shane. It comes from bulls though.

  5. halladaysbiceps - Oct 5, 2011 at 12:34 PM

    First squirrels and now horses crapping near the Phillies dugout. What kind of tomfoolery are the Cards up too?

    • stlouis1baseball - Oct 5, 2011 at 1:11 PM

      Yep…and it’s all TLR’s fault.

      • Francisco (FC) - Oct 5, 2011 at 2:15 PM

        I thought it was Theo Epstein’s fault? At least that’s the take on the Boston Globe today…

  6. Chris Fiorentino - Oct 5, 2011 at 12:35 PM

    “The Phillies hope to return the favor by spraying champagne all over the visiting clubhouse on Wednesday night.”

    Really? Why? This team should spray champagne only once…when they win their 11th game. Anything else is just a waste of some good bubbly.

  7. philly56 - Oct 5, 2011 at 12:36 PM

    I wonder if William Wallace would be ok with a Scottish breed of horse being used to sell watery crap like budweiser.

    • richeich - Oct 5, 2011 at 12:41 PM

      You must be a Phillies fan. They sell beer in Philly too. Is that water crap too?
      Can’t stand the heat-get out of the ball park.LOL

      • churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged - Oct 5, 2011 at 12:43 PM

        Wait, you are defending Budweiser as a good beer?

      • kiwicricket - Oct 5, 2011 at 12:55 PM

        Is it possible to repeat yourself in a much less confusing fashion?

      • philsgamer - Oct 5, 2011 at 1:21 PM

        richeich – “You must be a Phillies fan.”

        You must be one of dem smart persons to conclude that philly56 is a Phillies fan. Gee golly.

    • stlouis1baseball - Oct 5, 2011 at 1:14 PM

      Watery crap? Budweiser? Really? Please know I am talking about Budweiser. Not Bud Lite..Bud Select, etc… Acutal Budweiser. Watery?

      • b7p19 - Oct 5, 2011 at 1:27 PM

        PLEASE tell me you are joking.

      • Chris Fiorentino - Oct 5, 2011 at 1:33 PM

        I believe we have found another way for Craig to start baiting fans…he can write a post mocking Budweiser. Because it is obvious that Cardinals fans are oversensitive about that piss more than Philly fans are about any of their teams.

      • nolanwiffle - Oct 5, 2011 at 1:35 PM

        I know of no brand produced by any other brewer which costs so much to brew and age. Their exclusive Beechwood Aging process produces a taste, a smoothness and drinkability you will find in no other beer at any price. Brewed by their original all natural process using the Choicest Hops, Rice and Best Barley Malt.

      • stlouis1baseball - Oct 5, 2011 at 1:37 PM

        It’s okay…I have no problems admitting that I ALSO like Yuengling. My only problem is it’s regional. Just because it’s located in Pennsylvania doesn’t make me less of a person to admit I like it. You do realize there is a reason Budweiser is commonly referred to as the “king of beers” don’t you? And yes…before you point it out I am fully aware of Anheuser Busch creating the “king of beers” moniker. My point is there is also a reason why it is routinely the best selling beer in the Country (with annual sales topping those of Miller Lite and Coors combined).

      • halladaysbiceps - Oct 5, 2011 at 1:45 PM

        I’m not sure why there is such a backlash on Budweiser in recent years. The Bicepts has drank Bud since I was a 13/14 year old kid and still continue to drink it to this day. It’s a good beer. I know with this younger generation, they prefer these micro-brews. For some people, they have turned beer drinking into wine drinking. Just give me a cold Bud. That’s all I need.

      • b7p19 - Oct 5, 2011 at 1:49 PM

        Oh, well, if it’s better than Miller Lite and Coors…

      • Chris Fiorentino - Oct 5, 2011 at 1:52 PM

        and stlouis1 continues to make my point LOL

        Just because it is called “The King of Beers” by the marketing department, doesn’t it make it any less horrible.

        HB, there’s nothing better to me than an ice cold Sam Adams. To each his own.

      • cleverbob - Oct 5, 2011 at 1:54 PM

        McDonald’s sells a ton of burgers, too…

      • kiwicricket - Oct 5, 2011 at 2:04 PM

        I make alcohol for a living. Budweiser is utter crap.
        Just my professional opinion.

      • Francisco (FC) - Oct 5, 2011 at 2:17 PM

        My point is there is also a reason why it is routinely the best selling beer in the Country (with annual sales topping those of Miller Lite and Coors combined).

        Yeah, and all the flies are currently flocking to that pile of dung outside, doesn’t mean that sh!t is any good.

      • bigxrob - Oct 5, 2011 at 2:19 PM

        Would you call it Horse “bleep” beer Kiwi?
        Because tha would bring us fuul circle to the original topic.

      • kiwicricket - Oct 5, 2011 at 2:23 PM

        Rob- Horse Piss actually. So this introduces urine into the equation…

      • Jonny 5 - Oct 5, 2011 at 2:29 PM

        You guys cannot be serious. I’ve tasted, literally tasted, hundred of beers. And Budweiser is definitely some of the crappiest tasting beers I’ve ever tried. It also has caused me some side effects forcing me to even give it nicknames as follows.

        Mudweiser
        and Buttwiper

        Although Yuengling is also not a top shelf beer (preferred by men everywhere) it is still wayyy better tasting then Buttwiper is. It also isn’t a laxative.

        Try a good Octoberfest. Tis the season. You’ll see what I mean.

      • jwbiii - Oct 5, 2011 at 4:37 PM

        Brewed by their original all natural process using the Choicest Hops, Rice and Best Barley Malt.

        If it’s got rice in it, it’s not worthy of being called beer.

  8. halladaysbiceps - Oct 5, 2011 at 12:43 PM

    After the Phillies win tonight to seal the deal, Joe Blanton should return the favor and take a dump in front of the Cards clubhouse.

    • cur68 - Oct 5, 2011 at 1:31 PM

      He would but he’s usually all done dumping after he’s yanked while pitching. Man’ only got so much crap in him y’know?

      • halladaysbiceps - Oct 5, 2011 at 1:48 PM

        Agreed. Fat Joe does a lot of “dumping” while he’s on the mound with his poor pitching.

      • cur68 - Oct 5, 2011 at 2:00 PM

        And, I suspect after his usual fare of chicken fried doughnuts, his dumps on the mound are vile.

    • schiver - Oct 5, 2011 at 2:07 PM

      I can’t thumbs up this enough

  9. kiwicricket - Oct 5, 2011 at 12:50 PM

    Horses poo around 12 times per day. Depending on their particular diet of course. I don’t have any recorded lap-times to go by, but I can draw a reasonable conclusion that the time taken to round a baseball field twice, would allow sufficient time for a natural equine bowl movement to take place. Taking nerves into account, I think this is a ridiculous statement by Victorino.

    • Jonny 5 - Oct 5, 2011 at 1:04 PM

      Wait a minute, LaRussa was doing calculations of the field multiplied by bull**** as noted by HBT earlier. Is it possible that he did plan this whole thing? I mean is bull**** an equal multiplyer to horse****? I think it’s close enough….

      • b7p19 - Oct 5, 2011 at 1:30 PM

        The case has officially been broken wide open. It’s only a matter of time now…

      • cur68 - Oct 5, 2011 at 1:57 PM

        What a fascinating notion: TLR meant for the horse to what they did where they did it. In the spirit of HBT pendantry, let us examine this little thought in some detail, shall we?

        The length of the equine gastro-intestinal tract (GIT) is ~30 meters (Look it up if you don’t know what a meter is; I’m not your pocket calculator). (Human GIT is ~ 9m. The horses GIT is therefore 3.3 times that of a human). The transit time, mouth to, er, “exit” for a horse is about 3 days (no sh!t). (For a human it’s about 36 hours). All this depending on the meal. A horses diet, and I submit to you, the diet of those clydesdales, can be rigidly controlled so that you know to the day when Dobbin’s gonna dump a particular meal.

        Using some simple math a person can work out, based on three dumps/day (which is about average for a horse), in 3 days after eating something particularly vile, when a horse might “unload” to best effect, to within about 8 -10 hours.

        If Tony LaRussa can match up diet, horse, time, and trip around the infield that well, to get those horses to desecrate the ground in front of the visiting team’s (Philly) dugout and thus offend Shane’s delicate sensibilities, then my Blue Jays cap is off to you Mr LaRussa. You are a genius.

        FYI. Human figures presented for comparison only. The author takes no responsibility for experiments reader attempt on themselves or others. No animals, humans or bicpets were hurt in the detrmining of these numbers.

        PS. Boobz.

      • addictedzone - Oct 5, 2011 at 1:59 PM

        Simply put, a Clydesdale will always crap nearest the dugout that is furthest from the dugout nearest the outfield position that Berkman plays.

        As for the Victorino quote, if you’ve have never been near a dumping Clydesdale he understates the stench. Those big boys have plenty of hops times pi in their diet.

      • cur68 - Oct 5, 2011 at 2:12 PM

        correction; horses crap ~ 12 times/day, not 3. Getting human and horse numbers confused. This happens to me a lot since I am frequently compared to a horse in certain regards. Apologies.

        So we re-work the math a bit, and it actually becomes even more wildly unpredictable: with the experimental animal now producing @ 12/day, you can guarantee a given meal dump on a given day, but you have the “shotgun effect” coming into play. That stuff’s gonna be all over the place. The match up might come back to bite you on the a$$ in other words.

        Hmmm…looking at it like that you can see how TLR trying to set up such a match up is entirely within his character.

        I’m not sure if I’m impressed or appalled.

      • kiwicricket - Oct 5, 2011 at 2:13 PM

        Sorry Cur. I got to ‘Transit time’ then started giggling.

        I say look into reciepts/sales of Horse food in the greater STL region. I wouldn’t put it past TLR to calculate such things. Making an informed purchase is a pretty shrewd move.

      • Jonny 5 - Oct 5, 2011 at 2:51 PM

        I knew it. TLR= evil genius

    • Jonny 5 - Oct 5, 2011 at 1:05 PM

      *multiplier* no edit function = bowel function.

    • CJ - Oct 5, 2011 at 2:01 PM

      kiwi,

      but what if the horse was provided a laxitive before coming out, taking into account exactly how long it would need to be in the system to take effect, that would skew the math a bit wouldn’t it?

      • kiwicricket - Oct 5, 2011 at 2:07 PM

        Hmmmm. This is all pointing somewhere…

    • stlouis1baseball - Oct 5, 2011 at 2:18 PM

      So you are a Alcohol making equine expert. If you keep it up you are going to surpass the Dos Equis Guy.

      • kiwicricket - Oct 5, 2011 at 2:35 PM

        Nope, just used to time my day by the natural goings-on of two horses in an inclosed space, fed the exact same thing, at the exact same time. Pretty amazing animals actually. They were mostly accurate to within 5 minutes in an 8hr working day. Started barking at 3.55pm wanting their 4pm feeding of hay and oats.

  10. stlouis1baseball - Oct 5, 2011 at 1:13 PM

    For some reason…anytime I see and/or hear a grown man say the word “poo” I get embarassed.

    • proudlycanadian - Oct 5, 2011 at 1:36 PM

      Just try not to say Poo-holes.

      • stlouis1baseball - Oct 5, 2011 at 2:31 PM

        Try not to be a chump.

    • kiwicricket - Oct 5, 2011 at 1:55 PM

      Yep. I want to curl up and hide when a woman says it.

  11. phukyouk - Oct 5, 2011 at 1:33 PM

    “There was poo everywhere.”

    – Answer given when asked about the Sox and Braves seasons

  12. tgifinley88 - Oct 5, 2011 at 1:45 PM

    no matter how much those horses pooped, victorino is still the biggest piece of crap in this story.

    • Chris Fiorentino - Oct 5, 2011 at 1:59 PM

      Only because Tony LaRussa wasn’t mentioned in it.

      • stlouis1baseball - Oct 5, 2011 at 2:13 PM

        No worries Chris. No offense taken whatsoever. It’s beer man. And I also mentioned the whole marketing moniker with the king of beers thing (but thanks for repeating it). Also mentioned that it annually out sells both Miller Lite and Coors combined. I also like Sam Adams and Heineken. Just don’t like the price tags. As a result, I drink Sam Adams and Heineken on special occassions. On a different note…congratulations on the big win last night. Francisco did a great job taking advantage of Jaime’s mistake. I wouldn’t want to focus on Jaime to much when Franciso did a great job of hitting his mistake. Hahahaha!

      • Chris Fiorentino - Oct 5, 2011 at 2:30 PM

        I was going to respond to your post about that, but everything I was writing was too snarky and I decided to just pass. However, now that you brought it up again, I’ll just say this…the credit/blame for Francisco’s home run should be the following percentages in my opinion…and in the likely opinion of most Phillies fans…

        99% Bad pitch by Garcia
        01% Good swing by Francisco.

        Because anybody who say they thought Big Ben was going to hit a home run is either lying or just returned from a trip in the Delorean.

      • drmonkeyarmy - Oct 5, 2011 at 2:48 PM

        Agree with Chris completely. A mistake can be made to Francisco in nearly any spot and he is unable to take advantage. However, navel high over the plate is his wheelhouse. It is the only spot his uppercut swing allows him to fully connect. 99% Garcia, 1% Francisco is about right. I would say 97% Garcia, 3% Francisco but that is splitting hairs.

  13. halladaysbiceps - Oct 5, 2011 at 2:03 PM

    Alright, enough of everybody talking “crap” on this thread. We have a game tonight, gentlemen. Roy Oswalt vs. Edwin Jackson. Two hard throwers who rely on their fastball. I can’t speak about Jackson, but I know Roy Oswalt will be on his top game tonight. He made some interesting comments the other day by saying he feels disappointed that he hasn’t contributed all season as he would have liked. He also said that this is the greatest rotation he has been apart of and wants to help out in anyway he can.

    I think Oswalt has a monster start. He says his back feels great. I think he throws a masterpiece.

    • cur68 - Oct 5, 2011 at 2:29 PM

      HB: Yeah, maybe enough with the crap, unless of course someone has something concrete to contribute, like a receipt for horse laxative with the name “LaRussa” scribbled on the signature spot.

      Little Roy tonight. Or, as I think of him, Roy Edward Oswalt. Weather plays a factor in this game more than any other. Bad joints, and, I submit to you for your consideration, bad backs, play up WAY more in the cold and wet than other times, IMO. That back better be Tip Top. He better be warm and loose. Any time spent sitting for long periods will cause stiffening, especially if his back gets cold.

      So: a short, AJ Burnette type short, leash on Roy Edward Oswalt.

      Mr. Lucky’s foot, Pence’s & Utley’s knees and any other bad joints are going to feel it as well. This, though applies to the Cards just as much. The difference is in the pitching. Roy Edward Oswalt and his back are more of a concern than Edwin Jackson (born in Neu-Ulm, Bavaria, West Germany; did you know that HB?). As far as I’m aware, Jackson’s healthy as a (Ha ha) horse.

    • Chris Fiorentino - Oct 5, 2011 at 2:35 PM

      cur, it is going to be 75 at game-time in St. Louie tonight so Little Roy’s back should be just fine. Maybe you are confused and think this one is coming back to Philly?

      • stlouis1baseball - Oct 5, 2011 at 2:59 PM

        Somebody’s counting their chickens before they hatch.

      • cur68 - Oct 5, 2011 at 3:04 PM

        I’m so used to watching baseball through a curtain of rain now that it is all I expect. So, 23 degrees, eh? We shall see what the thermometer falls to as the game progresses and if sitting between innings is lengthy. Some of those double switches can take whole minute to get through. If it remains warm, & Roy Edward Oswalt is who he can be, then look for the defence to make those plays they didn’t for Lee. In the warm, the Phillys take this one.

      • Chris Fiorentino - Oct 5, 2011 at 3:26 PM

        stl, I was referring to cur saying that the temperature is going to be cold tonight when I said the part about coming back to Philly…for TONIGHT. The temps in St L tonight are 75 at first pitch, so there should be no concern for anybody’s back, foot, or anything else.

    • cintiphil - Oct 5, 2011 at 9:18 PM

      The Reds beat Oswalt only one time in his career. He drives the Reds nuts. However, He is not the same pitcher who used to dominate in Houston. Never mind his back. For some reason, he doesn’t have the same stuff.

  14. 1historian - Oct 5, 2011 at 2:06 PM

    1) feces occur

    2) is there anyone else out there but me who thinks that pro football players look RIDICULOUS wearing pink shoes, no matter WHAT the reason?

    • kiwicricket - Oct 5, 2011 at 2:17 PM

      I tend to find the spandex pants and the macho attitude more ridiculous.

      • Old Gator - Oct 5, 2011 at 2:22 PM

        We’re men, we’re men in tights….

      • kiwicricket - Oct 5, 2011 at 2:26 PM

        Robin Hood?

      • jimbo1949 - Oct 5, 2011 at 5:33 PM

        Mel Brooks

  15. stlouis1baseball - Oct 5, 2011 at 2:20 PM

    FC: So what does it mean then. It leads all beers in annual sales. I anxiously await your response.

    • kiwicricket - Oct 5, 2011 at 2:45 PM

      ‘Australian for Beer’ – 99% of Fosters is sold overseas, rather than actually in Australia. The locals won’t touch the stuff, and you would most likely be ridiculed for asking for it in a pub.
      What does that tell you?

      • stlouis1baseball - Oct 5, 2011 at 2:52 PM

        Oh I am with you on Fosters Kiwi. I have two buddies who regularly travel their on business. They tried like hell to find it. After about the 10th pub they finally did. As for the annual sells of Budweiser…that clearly tells me a whole lot of people like it. Hard to argue with the numbers.

      • Alex K - Oct 5, 2011 at 4:05 PM

        All it clearly tells me is that it is bought a bunch of times.

        Someone said it above, I’ll say it here a lot of people eat at McDonalds- that doesn’t mean it’s good food.

      • Alex K - Oct 5, 2011 at 4:15 PM

        All that said…It’s perfectly fine for you to like Budweiser, just don’t other people to like it.

  16. foreverchipper10 - Oct 5, 2011 at 2:24 PM

    Too much hate in here. Needs more BOOBZ!

  17. fearlessleader - Oct 5, 2011 at 2:28 PM

    The Cardinals are awesome.

    Budweiser is disgusting.

    That is all.

  18. cowboysoldiertx - Oct 5, 2011 at 2:50 PM

    Poo happens dude. Lump it. I’ve rolled in horse shit and it still smells better than Philly.

  19. drmonkeyarmy - Oct 5, 2011 at 3:01 PM

    Fun fact: The only current member of the Phillies to homer of Edwin Jackson……Joe Blanton.

    • firedude7160 - Oct 5, 2011 at 3:44 PM

      That is probly the best stat of the day

    • b7p19 - Oct 5, 2011 at 3:57 PM

      Sounds like reason enough to start Joe Blanton.

    • sabathiawouldbegoodattheeighthtoo - Oct 5, 2011 at 5:38 PM

      Phun Phact?

  20. mdpickles - Oct 5, 2011 at 3:46 PM

    You drink Muddweiser, you produce Mudd..

  21. sixsixny - Oct 5, 2011 at 5:30 PM

    I wonder if the word Beechwood actually means a horses intestines?

    • jimbo1949 - Oct 5, 2011 at 5:36 PM

      contents thereof

  22. sabathiawouldbegoodattheeighthtoo - Oct 5, 2011 at 5:41 PM

    Let’s not blame the horses. Phillies fans have been known to throw things into the OF, and the trip to St. Louis is doable for many.

    P.S.
    Beefaroni

    • cshearing - Oct 6, 2011 at 8:39 AM

      Beefarino. Don’t want to get sued!!

  23. capsclothings - Oct 7, 2011 at 3:42 AM

    MLB Baltimore Orioles 59FIFTY Fitted Hats—http://www.caps-clothings.com/caps-clothings/MLB-Hats-cl2.html
    MLB Philadelphia Phillies 59FIFTY Fitted New Era Hats—http://www.caps-clothings.com/HATS/MLB-Baseball-Hats/Philadelphia-Phillies–hatsampcaps-cl63.html

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