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Cardinals to squirrel: you’re going down

Oct 7, 2011, 2:45 PM EDT

The Menace in St, Louis AP

The Cardinals have brought out the big guns at Busch Stadium.

No, not Albert Pujols, Matt Holliday and Chris Carpenter. They’re all in Philadelphia for Friday’s Game 5.

We’re talking peanut butter, gated traps and underground mines in the outfield.

Faced with a public safety crisis after a squirrel ran across the field during Wednesday’s Game 4, Cardinals groundskeeper will do whatever it takes to keep the residents of St. Louis safe.

And that means keeping people out of Busch Stadium for the moment.

Apparently the crowd fired him up,” head groundskeeper Bill Findley told ESPN.com.

To this point, the squirrel has eluded all seven of Findley’s traps. That hardly has him down, though. Findley and his assistant have been monitoring the squirrel’s behavior in an attempt to better understand what’s driving it. Earlier this week, they caught it burying a peanut in the outfield:

“He dug out the sand,” Findley said, “put the peanut in and actually took the grass clippings and covered it back up.”

So, fear not. With Findley on the case, the good residents of Missouri can expect a breakthrough in the coming days.

  1. bobwsc - Oct 7, 2011 at 2:50 PM

    time to call in Carl Spackler. gophers, squirrels…same thing.

  2. Chris Fiorentino - Oct 7, 2011 at 2:53 PM

    “Earlier this week, they caught it burying a peanut in the outfield:”

    SO THAT’S THE HOLE THE FLYIN’ HAWAIIAN TRIPPED IN!!!!!!!

    • paperlions - Oct 7, 2011 at 3:01 PM

      I still think he slipped in Clydesdale poo….it was everywhere.

      • stlouis1baseball - Oct 7, 2011 at 3:47 PM

        Hahaha! “Poo.”

      • firedude7160 - Oct 7, 2011 at 5:08 PM

        How does someone thumbs down “Hahaha! poo.”
        Side note- Boooobz

      • bleedgreen - Oct 7, 2011 at 5:22 PM

        Hahah he called the shit pooh.

  3. xmatt0926x - Oct 7, 2011 at 2:54 PM

    Throw a glove on it and see if it can play 1st base. That has to be a cheaper option than the $25-30 million that Pujols wants. Just give the squirrel a bag of nuts here and there and that should do it.

    • b7p19 - Oct 7, 2011 at 2:58 PM

      Even Roy Halladay wouldn’t be able to hit that stike zone.

  4. b7p19 - Oct 7, 2011 at 2:56 PM

    This is the greatest baseball story of all time.

  5. shaggylocks - Oct 7, 2011 at 3:00 PM

    UNDERGROUND MINES?!?!?! This is turning into a Looney Toons cartoon.

    • thevandalen - Oct 7, 2011 at 3:03 PM

      That part was a joke, friend…

      Sandy: I want you to kill every gophers on the golf course!
      Carl Spackler: Correct me if I’m wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they’re gonna lock me up and throw away the key…
      Sandy: Not golfers, you great fool! Gophers! The *little* *brown*, *furry* *rodents* -!
      Carl Spackler: We can do that; we don’t even have to have a reason. All right, let’s do the same thing, but with gophers -!

  6. dailyrev - Oct 7, 2011 at 3:04 PM

    I suspect it’s less the crowd than the time of year. These critters are busy now, gathering, digging, storing, getting ready for winter. Here in NYC they’re everywhere, especially the parks. And they’ve really got no predators to worry about. The dogs are restrained because of leash laws; cats can’t deal with them; and the hawks we have in the city now prefer pigeons for their meals. They seem to get a little manic this time of year. But damn, at least they all have jobs…

  7. Jonny 5 - Oct 7, 2011 at 3:08 PM

    Squirrels are survivors, this guy may have bit off more than he can chew. I had a problem with these buggers always chewing into my trash cans for the buffet in them, all of my neighbors do still to this very day. They also chewed up my belongings all over my yard. The reason I don’t anymore? I made a truce with the little sumbeetches. They used to chew everything up until I learned that these guys are much like the Mafia. As these are Jersey squirrels, they may just be. But I pay them for “protection”. At least once a week, maybe more, I leave them their cut of my food laid out nicely on my picnic table in a large dish so the dog can’t get to it. Ever since we’ve had a relatively good relationship and they don’t chew up my stuff anymore. I suggest the grounds crew have a sit down with this squirrel and find out what it will take to make him go away. This problem could literally be gone for a bag of peanuts.

    • b7p19 - Oct 7, 2011 at 3:16 PM

      They just better hope that squirrel doesn’t call in Scott Boras to handle the negotiations.

      • Jonny 5 - Oct 7, 2011 at 3:32 PM

        25+ bags over a 7 year span is kinda heavy huh?

  8. cur68 - Oct 7, 2011 at 3:14 PM

    C’mon, who ya gonna call? Who? This guy…

    http://rumorsandrants.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/carl-2.jpg

    • flaviusflav - Oct 7, 2011 at 3:38 PM

      Sounds like more of a case for Ace Ventura to me.

  9. hungry joe - Oct 7, 2011 at 3:40 PM

    squirrel loose? nope, chuck testa!

  10. stlouis1baseball - Oct 7, 2011 at 3:49 PM

    Fear the Squirrel. Go Cardinals!

  11. cintiphil - Oct 7, 2011 at 4:18 PM

    Maybe they can make this into a movie, like the groundhog.

    • cintiphil - Oct 7, 2011 at 4:19 PM

      Oh I almost forgot. The can get Bill Murray to play the lead (of course after the squirrel).

  12. bucsraysboltsfan - Oct 7, 2011 at 4:47 PM

    St. Louis to squirrel: drop dead!

  13. jwbiii - Oct 7, 2011 at 5:41 PM

    I like the Lance Berkman and a .410 solution.

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