-Grandpa Prizzi

Beckett is an English name and Lackey is a Scottish name. We don’t need those two miscreants sullying up Ireland’s world class drinking reputation.

Americans of English descent tend to drink a lot of Newcastle for some reason – as if their desperately trying to show American Irish they have a cool beer to (they don’t). One thing I know for sure is that Newcastle is loaded with sugar. My bet is that Beckett drinks a lot of Lone Star with his buddy Lackey – but when he wants to look cool its Newcastle. Anyway Beckett is fat because of his diet and beer drinking.

Lackey seems much more the Scotch-n-Soda type. American Scottish tend to skip beer altogether so its a bit of a shocker that Lackey drinks beer with Beckett at all. Unlike the our English counterparts, I have respect for Scottish drinkers. The Celts and the Scots are proud warrior tribes that have endured English subjugation. Anyway, I sense that beer really has no tangible effect on Lackey. He likely drank to be social and to have a friend in the clubhouse. Lackey’s fat because in the immortal words of King George: he’s a fat pussy toad.

And Guinness. Whew.

Anyway, you don’t know how good Guinness is until you’ve quaffed it right from the spring.

I think this Guinness poster is more appropriate:

http://www.galwayartworks.com/i/full/watermark.php?path=gu2.jpg

Perhaps Lackey misunderstood the meaning of it and thought he was supposed to be the Clydesdale in this scenario.