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Len Dykstra to fight Jose Canseco? Um, OK.

Nov 2, 2011, 12:02 PM EDT

Former Major League baseball player Lenny Dykstra appears in Los Angeles Superior Court for an arraignment in San Fernando, California Reuters

I wasn’t even aware that they let Len Dykstra out of jail, but apparently he’s free on bail because according to this farkakte press release that readers Jonny 5 and Bicepts each brought to my attention, he’s free enough to where he’s going to fight Jose Canseco in one of those ghastly celebrity boxing match things. And when I say “ghastly,” it refers to just how horribly these things mangle the concept of “celebrity.”

Dykstra is a last minute replacement for the guy who got “famous” for crashing the White House party last year with his wife. And then his wife ran off with the guitar player for Journey. And I wish to God that I was (a) making that up; and/or (b) didn’t know it off the top of my head.  I need to step away from the Internet.

Anyway, I can’t think of how either Dykstra or Canseco can sink any lower.  Don’t get me wrong, they will sink lower, of this I have no doubt.  I just can’t think of how they’ll do it.

  1. bloodysock - Nov 2, 2011 at 12:09 PM

    Dykstra will sink lower because Canseco will send him to the mat.

    Nails doesn’t have a chance in Roid Rage I.

    • mox19380 - Nov 2, 2011 at 1:14 PM

      I don’t know Canseco is a juiced up freak but he’s a softie. not especially agressive. the tale of the tape clearly would favor canseco but when it comes down to desire, scrappiness, etc Dykstra has him beat by a mile…. It will be a terrible fight but I wouldn’t say Canseco is a sure fire win

  2. crash1582 - Nov 2, 2011 at 12:11 PM

    Sounds like a good casting start for Dancing With The Stars.

    • pellypell - Nov 2, 2011 at 12:33 PM

      I was thinking more like Celebrity Rehab.

  3. phukyouk - Nov 2, 2011 at 12:12 PM

    this “fight” is going to end with the double KO. they will both throw a right hook which will land squarely on each other’s Jaw and they both hit the mat at the same time. i am 102%% sure about that.

  4. yankeesgameday - Nov 2, 2011 at 12:12 PM

    For the first time I will be rooting for canseco to hit something.

  5. halladaysbiceps - Nov 2, 2011 at 12:13 PM

    Dykstra and Canseco will be syringing it up for this bloodbath.

    My money is on Nails. Nails has the prison toughness aspect in his arsenal now.

    • thefalcon123 - Nov 2, 2011 at 12:33 PM

      Jose has done plenty of county jail time. Since Canseco’s twitter page is filled his photos being buff and shirtless, I’ll guess he’s the winner. More likely, having the two most ridiculous men to ever put on a baseball uniform in the same room will cause the universe to collapse in on itself, in which case we all lose.

  6. halladaysbiceps - Nov 2, 2011 at 12:31 PM

    Here’s a little preview of what we will see Saturday night. Of course, this is Canseco getting KO’d in a MMA fight, not a boxing fight. Just remember, Canseco was whipped by both Danny Bonaduce and Vai Sikahema as well. I think Dykstra will do the same to him.

    • kopy - Nov 2, 2011 at 2:25 PM

      Wow. At no point in this video does Canseco look like he knows what he’s doing. Just a lot of running/dancing around and turning his back on his opponent – with just a touch of keeping the gloves up.

    • Jonny 5 - Nov 2, 2011 at 2:31 PM

      So the guy he’s fighting….. Is what 7′ tall? Damn, Jose looks tiny there.

  7. mgscott - Nov 2, 2011 at 1:08 PM

    They should go on a weekend binge together. I’d rather watch that.

  8. cur68 - Nov 2, 2011 at 1:38 PM

    I’d like to think I’d have coped better with fame and riches than Canseco and Dykstra, but until I know that for sure I think I’ll ease up an the judgmental and go with the sad: and thisis just sad. I wish both these guys could clean up their lives and try to have semi-normal lives rather than these ridiculous displays of public humiliation for a buck.

    Of course, if anyone wants to make me famous and rich, I’ll fight Dykstra & Canseco at the same time for the chance…

    • halladaysbiceps - Nov 2, 2011 at 1:52 PM

      Cur,

      I bet you could beat Dykstra and Canseco at the same time in Beaver wrestling. Correct?

      • cur68 - Nov 2, 2011 at 2:01 PM

        World heavyweight CHAMPION beaver wrestler…

      • El Bravo - Nov 2, 2011 at 5:45 PM

        Dude, I leave beavers tired, beaten and shaven (it’s my signature, if you will). I am the champion here! I demand a BEAVER OFF!!!!

      • cur68 - Nov 2, 2011 at 7:25 PM

        Well, El Bravo, it seems that Canseco and Dykstra are to top 2 contenders for my belt at the moment. You’ll have to wait till I get done with them before you get a shot at the title. Besides, I don’t think your belt is sanctioned by the Queen, so its just a minor title. Beneath me really, to give you a shot.

  9. humanexcrement - Nov 2, 2011 at 2:02 PM

    Jose Canseco may be a jackass, but without him there would have been no end to the steroid era. He blew the lid off steroids in baseball at the cost of his own reputation, and was vilified for telling the truth amidst dozens of blatant liars, several of whom committed perjury. Meanwhile, Bud Selig claims he knew nothing from 1980 all the way up to Canseco’s appearance before Congress. Give me a fucking break. Yes, Canseco is most likely a complete asshole in person, and his grubbing for the spotlight after the end of his career is pathetic, but his final mark on the game was a positive one.

    • SmackSaw - Nov 2, 2011 at 3:58 PM

      Well put excrement.

      Sorry…I had to write that.

  10. Old Gator - Nov 2, 2011 at 4:22 PM

    And if you look closely at the treeline, you will see lots of bright, red-centered little eyes glowing in the firelight, just waiting for the scraps.

  11. birdsnblues - Nov 2, 2011 at 8:38 PM

    Why am I here?

  12. gallaghedj311 - Nov 2, 2011 at 9:05 PM

    I heard the whole card promoted on WIP in Philly on the morning show. That is only one of many many hilarious white trash type matchups.

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