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The scouting video of Yoennis Cespedes is absolutely ridiculous

Nov 7, 2011, 9:30 AM EDT

Cespedes.bmp

I had not thought much of Cuban defector Yoennis Cespedes. Scouting and prospects are not exactly my strong suit, so I usually just wait to hear what the Kevin Goldsteins and Keith Laws of the world say about those guys before I take too much notice.

Well, today Goldstein has a big post about Cespedes over at Baseball Prospectus. He bases everything he says about what may be the most ridiculous/fabulous/glorious scouting video ever created for a baseball player.  Read Goldstein for the analysis of it all, but feel free to watch the video below if you just want it to wash over you.  All I’ll say is this: within the first three minutes there is a “Star Wars”-style opening title crawl and a Christopher Cross song which is, as crazy as it sounds, perfect for the context.

Cespedes is a gigantic man who abuses baseballs, runs (rides?)  like the wind and will make an awful lot of money.  But I gotta say: if all he ever does for us is star in this video, we should consider ourselves blessed.

  1. halladaysbiceps - Nov 7, 2011 at 9:49 AM

    Hahahahahahaha!!! I thought the beginning of this video was ridiculous enough with the Star Wars theme “A New Hope” scrolling, like this guy is some savior like Luke Skywalker.

    But, what takes the cake is when they show him hitting homeruns as they play Christopher Cross’ “Sailing” song in the background.

    Glorious? No. Cheesy and contrived? Yes.

    • drunkenhooliganism - Nov 7, 2011 at 10:04 AM

      biceps hates it. Now I’ll have to waste the 20 minutes to watch. I’m sure it’s great.

      • halladaysbiceps - Nov 7, 2011 at 10:11 AM

        If you’re a Christopher Cross fan, I’m sure you will love it.

      • drunkenhooliganism - Nov 7, 2011 at 10:16 AM

        Mark my words Biceps, one of these days you’re gonna get caught between the Moon and New York City and you’ll have NO IDEA what do.

      • The Common Man - Nov 7, 2011 at 10:38 AM

        That is my favorite comment of, like, ever.

      • halladaysbiceps - Nov 7, 2011 at 10:48 AM

        drunken,

        According to Christopher Cross, if one gets caught between the moon and New York City, “The best that you can do is fall in love”.

        I hope Cross doesn’t do any GPS work. If you follow his directions, you’ll wind up in a chapel somewhere tying the knot.

      • drunkenhooliganism - Nov 7, 2011 at 11:47 PM

        I always thought of my target audience as the common man. I didn’t know that it was also The Common Man.

    • The Common Man - Nov 7, 2011 at 10:38 AM

      ‘Cepts, why do you hate everything wonderful in this world? If I brought about world peace, which is totally within my power, you’d get pissed that there wouldn’t be any more war movies.

      • halladaysbiceps - Nov 7, 2011 at 10:42 AM

        If it was in your power to bring about world peace, I would easily forgo all the great war movies for that to be achieved.

        But, being a realist, there is as much chance of that happening as the Phillies signing Albert Pujols.

  2. ssazz - Nov 7, 2011 at 10:12 AM

    Kenny Powers wept.

    • joebuckiscreepy - Nov 7, 2011 at 1:57 PM

      I was a little disappointed when I saw someone else had already posted this. Nice work.

  3. cur68 - Nov 7, 2011 at 10:17 AM

    So who doesn’t want a big right handed bat? Wherever he plays they’ll need 2 things; an indoor stadium (or California), and lots more of the letters “B” “S” “O” & “L”. If he plays out doors someplace cold, with all the rain the East coast gets, he’ll be miserable and you can bank on a drop to his average. As for the letters, I for one, look forward to more of his music videos all entitled “BSOL”. Quite a mash up.

  4. bobwsc - Nov 7, 2011 at 10:28 AM

    Born to Play’s logo is worse than that new Marlins mess.

  5. yankeesfanlen - Nov 7, 2011 at 10:30 AM

    Classic! George Lucas, Robert Altman. Lawrence Kasdan and Cecil B. DeMille collaborate for the first time in the Scott Boras production of “Marketing to the Universe!”

    • JBerardi - Nov 7, 2011 at 11:15 AM

      Are you kidding? Scott Boras would never pull this shit. Say what you will about the man, but I guarantee that he’s never sent out a scouting video that didn’t have production values rivaling major hollywood productions.

  6. The Common Man - Nov 7, 2011 at 10:36 AM

    I request…nay, DEMAND…that we begin referring to him as The Human Centipedes from now on.

  7. churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged - Nov 7, 2011 at 10:38 AM

    Best 30 min of my life (article + video), although it looks like someone went to the Pat Robertson school of addition regarding lifting* b/c there’s no way that’s 1300 lbs on the leg press nor 510 lbs on the hack squat.

    *http://www.firejoemorgan.com/2006/05/another-steroid-scandal.html

    • brewpack42 - Nov 7, 2011 at 12:55 PM

      Definitely not 1300 pounds. 14 plates X 45 pounds = 675 plus maybe 400 pounds for the people. He also barely bent his knees on his reps. I played college sports. Never ever would a coach let us call that a rep, not even when I was in highschool could I count that crap as a rep. You have to basically bring your knees almost all the way to your chest. And the hack squat was b.s. too. He is using the ball to bounce. The weakest part of our body during the squat is when your knee bend reaches 90 degrees. He uses the ball to bounce and get the weight moving up in to a zone where the body is more powerful.

  8. jdl1325 - Nov 7, 2011 at 10:38 AM

    Gotta feel for the dude spotting him on his core power exercises.

  9. SmackSaw - Nov 7, 2011 at 10:52 AM

    Impressive. But, he’s no Domingo Ayala.

    • cur68 - Nov 7, 2011 at 11:00 AM

      Domingo’s semi-pro next to Yoennis…

  10. illegalblues - Nov 7, 2011 at 11:49 AM

    Man, that final scene. I lost it. The closeup on the pig. Insane

  11. purnellmeagrejr - Nov 7, 2011 at 1:27 PM

    As part of the Cespedes management team I was disappointed they didn’t go with the intro I recommended – “Once every 2,000 years someone comes along to provide hope for mankind … this time HE’S Cuban.

  12. foreverchipper10 - Nov 7, 2011 at 6:50 PM

    The video has been removed. Damn it.

  13. crankyfrankie - Nov 7, 2011 at 7:58 PM

    Can someone please find this video? After all the hype must see it immediately.

  14. osjamiriz - Nov 8, 2011 at 11:45 AM

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