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The Wilson Ramos kidnappers were a bunch of amateurs

Nov 14, 2011, 3:00 PM EDT

Wilson Ramos AP

FC alerts us to an English language version of a story from Venezuela which reports that the guys who kidnapped Wilson Ramos were a bunch of amateurs.  Like, literally amateurs. As FC notes, the more expansive Spanish language version of the report notes that only two of the six kidnappers had criminal records.

They were also amateurs in execution of the plot. They didn’t wear masks, allowing composite sketches to be made. A car was found, helping authorities ID the suspects. The time of day of the kidnapping meant that there were lots of witnesses.  Master criminals they were not.

You know, as soon as the Ramos kidnapping was reported, a lot of people were tweeting and emailing me “Big Lebowski” quotes.  That kind of thing was obviously in poor taste because Ramos was in real peril so I wasn’t about to give them voice around here.  But now that he’s back safe and these guys were caught, I’m starting to think that, however inappropriate those comments were, they weren’t necessarily wrong.

Effin’ amateurs.

  1. Alex K - Nov 14, 2011 at 3:08 PM

    We want the money, Lebowski.

    • drmonkeyarmy - Nov 14, 2011 at 4:20 PM

      Nice marmot.

    • kellyb9 - Nov 15, 2011 at 9:14 AM

      He probably kidnapped himself!

  2. sdelmonte - Nov 14, 2011 at 3:10 PM

    I guess every criminal starts somewhere. Even Al Capone was an amateur once.

    • scatterbrian - Nov 14, 2011 at 3:20 PM

      Well you need to be successful in order to ascend from amateur to professional.

  3. RedHeadedBastard - Nov 14, 2011 at 3:18 PM


    • aleskel - Nov 14, 2011 at 4:20 PM

      bunch of dips****s driving around with a nine-toed woman

  4. aleskel - Nov 14, 2011 at 3:20 PM

    “Iss not fair!”
    “Fair?!! Who’s the f***ing nihilist around here!”

  5. jameswestphal - Nov 14, 2011 at 3:27 PM

    I can get you a toe dude

    • drmonkeyarmy - Nov 14, 2011 at 4:23 PM

      You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways Dude. You don’t want to know about it, believe me. Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o’clock this afternoon….with nail polish. These fucking amateurs.

  6. nolanwiffle - Nov 14, 2011 at 3:37 PM

    Sadly, the kidnappers could still profit from all this, depending on what they can get for a briefcase full of Ramos’ dirty undies…..the whites, on Ebay.

  7. cur68 - Nov 14, 2011 at 3:40 PM

    Amateurs eh? This then, is how the plan was formulated,

    Kidnapper 1: “When we make the handoff, I double back, grab one of ’em and beat it out of him! Huh?”
    Kidnapper 2: “That’s a great plan, Walter. That’s fuckin’ ingenious, if I understand it correctly. It’s a Swiss fuckin’ watch.”

  8. yankeesjetsknicksrangers - Nov 14, 2011 at 3:46 PM

    Being amateurs would likely increase the odds of something going wrong, horribly wrong, like death.

  9. geshtahl - Nov 14, 2011 at 3:54 PM

    This is what you get when YOU FIND A STRANGER IN THE ALPS!!!

  10. Kyle - Nov 14, 2011 at 3:56 PM

    This could easily turn into my most favorite comment thread ever.

    • lazlosother - Nov 14, 2011 at 4:29 PM

      Yeah, well, you know, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.

  11. - Nov 14, 2011 at 4:33 PM

    Then Wilson Ramos must go back in there are face the peril.

  12. bigmikemdz - Nov 14, 2011 at 5:52 PM

    We have, what appears to me, to be a series of victim-less crimes.

  13. hooks024 - Nov 15, 2011 at 7:58 AM

    I’ll have the lingonberry pancakes…

  14. dadawg77 - Nov 15, 2011 at 10:03 AM

    Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax. You’re goddamn right I’m living in the fuckin past!

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