Comments on: The Orioles spoke to David Ortiz’s agent

By: paintan8

paintan8 — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 22:42:08 +0000

Ortiz’s agent is also the agent for Vlad Guerrero. The meeting had nothing to do with Ortiz.

By: cur68

cur68 — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 19:18:34 +0000

This^^

By: Alex K

Alex K — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 18:57:42 +0000

His mouth shouldn’t write checks his digestive system can’t cash, then.

If a stetson is totally out of the question it should be a Phillies hat.

By: cur68

cur68 — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 18:15:09 +0000

Dude, that would kill him. Stetsons were traditionally made of Beaver Felt, you know: a fact which makes me so happy I could bust. Still made of felt of course. Thing about felt is that it's completely indigestible: water proof, weather proof and certainly digestion proof. Even if you boiled it, damn thing still couldn't be safely eaten. He better get a big pot of mustard and be sitting in his car next to the Emergency Room when he eats that. Its the only chance he has of surviving that meal.

By: Jonny 5

Jonny 5 — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 18:07:05 +0000

Well I picture it being a cop-out type of hat. Like these….

http://www.lawrence.com/news/2009/nov/12/hats-meat/

By: Alex K

Alex K — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 17:53:55 +0000

Have you ever disclaimed what type of hat it is you would be consuming? I think us minions deserve to know. Can we vote on the type of hat?

If so, I vote for a ten gallon cowboy hat.

By: cur68

cur68 — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 17:51:16 +0000

I think he should have to post a picture of the hat with the comment that its the hat of consumption. Just so as we know what we’re dealing with here. He’s gotta be wearing it, too, as a way of claiming ownership: ie. you’d only wear your own hat, right, because wearing another persons hat is icky. So a food hat is out, ’cause who wants food in their hair or hair in their foo…oh wait, I guess he could wear a food hat….well whatever. With his well known non-hirsutism factored in, then maybe a food hat is a possibility? Maybe he means one of those Taco Hats? You know, the kind with salsa and guacamole and sour cream in the brim?
Damn. Now I’m hungry. I’m going out to get tacos…Where’s my hat?

By: Jonny 5

Jonny 5 — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 17:48:27 +0000

Stinkfist, to be fair it would take me 4 hours to clean that many crabs…..

I now understand the screen name much better…. ;>P

By: deathmonkey41

deathmonkey41 — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 17:45:40 +0000

Blech. I don’t don’t eat anything swims in the ocean or scurries around the filth on the bottom.

By: stinkfist5

stinkfist5 — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 17:41:26 +0000

@Jonny5; You must not be a very good picker. It does take a good 2 dozen crabs to get full, but seriously 6 good digs and you have all the meat. They’re the best.

By: Jonny 5

Jonny 5 — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 17:37:44 +0000

roger roger….

If it’s anything like the blue claws we catch up here (it is) it’s mmmmm, mmmm good. but not nearly worth the work it takes to remove the meat. I’m actually hungrier than I was when I started when eating crabs. I guess that’s why it costs 18-20$ a lb. for lump crab meat….

By: b7p19

b7p19 — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 17:34:26 +0000

Roger that. deathmonkey is way out of line here.

By: Jonny 5

Jonny 5 — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 17:34:24 +0000

Myself, I’d like to know exactly which hat he’s talking of eating… Because a crispy creme hat wouldn’t be too bad, and if you put the creme filling on it, it may actually be good….

By: stinkfist5

stinkfist5 — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 17:27:17 +0000

You have obviously never ate a Maryland Blue Crab.

By: bigharold

bigharold — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 17:22:41 +0000

I’m not sure that is a significant departure from his normal attire. Just sayin…

By: Francisco (FC)

Francisco (FC) — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 17:11:10 +0000

I agree, instead he should post a pic wearing the Bathrobe and puffing the Bubble-pipe.

By: deathmonkey41

deathmonkey41 — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 17:05:22 +0000

Ortiz would have to give up eating fried chicken in the clubhouse and switch to disgusting crab instead. I wouldn’t do it.

By: Panda Claus

Panda Claus — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 16:53:34 +0000

Nothing to see here. Just a meeting between an agent and an out-of-touch new GM trying to make face time. If anything Ortiz may be intrigued by the new Orioles hats, but it’s doubtful to go beyond that point.

By: cur68

cur68 — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 16:47:29 +0000

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO EAT ANYTHING!!!??? Seriously, its like dealing with a 2 year old...can't you just dress amusingly or something? I was once on hand for the xray of a guy who ate $1.85 in coins, some lego (space-lego, if memory serves), 2 or 3 batteries (AA, I think), a plastic spoon, and a wool hat! All would have been well were not for that damn hat, I was told. He was completely obstructed by it. Damn it man, you know what the people who read this thing are like. We will remember that you put this out there (you can certainly depend on it that I will remember). One of these days you are going to have eat that stupid hat. Then, I suppose, you can put up your xray as proof that you did...while you recover from stomach surgery. Meantime, Oritiz Watch just kicked into high gear...

By: Kyle

Kyle — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 16:46:06 +0000

Remember to boil that thing a bit before cutting into it.

By: toosoxy

toosoxy — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 16:42:14 +0000

I hope you are right!
What are your thoughts about Youkilis? Read a blog today saying that, if we keep Ortiz, Youk will be stuck at third- eventually useless, and would make great trade fodder. Not okay with that…