Count Rugen: Your princess is quite a winning creature. A trifle simple, perhaps. Her appeal is undeniable.
Prince Humperdinck: I know, the people are quite taken with her. It’s odd, but when I hired Vizzini to have her murdered on our engagement day, I thought that was clever. But it’s going to be so much more moving when I strangle her on our wedding night. Once Guilder is blamed, the nation will truly be outraged – they’ll demand we go to war.
Count Rugen: [snickers, then examines a huge tree] Now where is that secret knot? It’s impossible to find…
[he finds it and the tree opens to reveal a hidden passage]
Count Rugen: Ah. Are you coming down into the pit? Westley’s got his strength back. I’m starting him on the machine tonight.
Prince Humperdinck: [sincerely] Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work, but I’ve got my country’s 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder and Guilder to frame for it; I’m swamped.
Count Rugen: Get some rest. If you haven’t got your health, then you haven’t got anything.

For some reason I’m remembering Humperdink in one of his monologues to the Six-Fingered Man detailing his plan to have his father killed and have it framed on Guilder, but then I believe he titters and says he’ll have it blamed on Westley. However, this could all be a misremembering.

Now, who would be the kindly, addle-pated King?

(This post brought to you by the Committee to Bring Back More Fun Words.)

“And not a Mets fan.”

oooh, the Crone….A commentor who is accurate, and yet, we all are kind of scared of….Old Gator? Also, visits us in Dreams…

Miracle Max’s Wife – Dave Martinez – Bench Coach of the Devil Rays. have you seen that beard? He’s even more hideous than Carol King in the movie. And he does seem to be always at Madden’s side, even when we doubt whether he should be.

Random questions – who would be the crone in Buttercup’s dream, and Miracle Max’s wife?

We’d miss you.

Buttercup – Nick Johnson. Everyone chases him every year but no one really seems sure why. He’s the pretty answer on a hill, and yet upon gaining Nick Johnson, no one really seems to be that much better off.

Vizzini – Frank McCourt. Is pretty sure he’s damn important, but really he’s playing second fiddle to Bud & his cronies (Humperdink). He fouls up all of Bud’s plans, and Bud has to do everything in his power to take control of the situation. Even at his end, Vizzini still has no awareness of the debacle he has perpetuated.

Humperdink – Loria. Incompetent and scheming big wig. Also, evidence he killed his father.

Westley – Matt Kemp. He was counted out, was considered dead or a wastrel by most of the population, and yet, by the end of the season, he has become the hero that could lead the future.

Inigo – Mike Stanton – the pitcher. Amazing skillset (getting lefties out) but limited in other aspects. Always reappears with a different organization. Just when you thought he was done for.

Fezzik – Pudge. He’s never the star, but well, he plays a pretty critical part in bringing the team to the conclusion. And whatever team he’s on, as long as he’s on that team, wins; (Vizzini, Brute Squad, Man-in-Black/Westley storming).

Six Fingered Man – Antonio Alfonseca. Duhh.

The Albino – Craig Calcaterra – I’m mean, come on, have you seen the videos from his basement?

Miracle Max – 5 years ago: Billy Beane. 2012: Dan Duquette….ummm….