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Man arrested for breaking into White Sox GM’s house drank his beer and wore his World Series ring

Nov 22, 2011, 10:47 AM EDT

Ken Williams Getty Images

OK, so this might be taking the whole “GM for a day” thing a little too far.

Paula Faris of NBC Chicago reports that a man was arrested yesterday for allegedly breaking into White Sox general manager Ken Williams’ home after “police found him wearing Williams’ clothes and the GM’s 2005 World Series ring.”

But wait, there’s more.

Williams told Faris that the man also drank his beer, ate his frozen pizza, used his computer, got in his bed, and was even defrosting a lobster when police arrived.

Oh, and how did the police actually catch him? Well, the guy walked into the house wearing Williams’ clothes while they were dusting the crime scene for prints.

Pretending to be a GM isn’t all fun and lobsters, so if the judicial system really wants to punish the guy they should force him to take responsibility for Adam Dunn‘s contract.

  1. uyf1950 - Nov 22, 2011 at 10:50 AM

    BTW, that burglar didn’t have a bucket of fried chicken with him did he? I hear beer and fried chicken go well together.

  2. b7p19 - Nov 22, 2011 at 11:08 AM

    I was with this guy right up until “got in his bed.” Thats creepy as hell. Also, he should have thawed and eaten the Lobster first instead of the Pizza.

    • drmonkeyarmy - Nov 22, 2011 at 11:11 AM

      Yeah, real lack of foresight on that guys part. He should have taken the lobster out immediately giving it time to thaw. Dumb ass.

      • Old Gator - Nov 22, 2011 at 1:06 PM

        If I didn’t know that Slobbering Ozzie was down here in Macondo yesterday I would have sworn…..

  3. yankeesfanlen - Nov 22, 2011 at 11:10 AM

    Didn’t know Kenny was a North Sider. The perp’s address is just north of…….Wrigleyville.

    • Alex K - Nov 22, 2011 at 11:38 AM

      I just want to comment, for the record, that we here in Uptown, Chicago don’t endorse our neighbor’s actions. Also, the perp lives quite close to the Red Line so he could take that baby all the way down to the South Side. I’m not sure where Kenny lives, however.

      • yankeesfanlen - Nov 22, 2011 at 11:43 AM

        No offense meant, Uptown is a nice+ neighborhood. Used to work in Humboldt Park.

      • Alex K - Nov 22, 2011 at 12:06 PM

        I was not at all offended. In fact, there are some not nice places in Uptown. Overall I like it.

  4. churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged - Nov 22, 2011 at 11:31 AM

    Jesus Christ Ozzie, I thought you said no hard feelings!
    -Kenny Williams

  5. Glenn - Nov 22, 2011 at 11:35 AM

    What was Ozzie thinking?

  6. firekenwilliams - Nov 22, 2011 at 11:41 AM

    The arrest and jail time will certainly throw this guy’s life upside down. Ken Williams has been having a mid-life crises off the field and professionally so maybe the dude wanted imitate Kenny in that regard.

    Kenny’s ego probably pushed him out of the house.

  7. Kyle - Nov 22, 2011 at 11:53 AM

    Go big or go home.

    • b7p19 - Nov 22, 2011 at 12:08 PM

      Right, but usually it’s your own home.

      • Kyle - Nov 22, 2011 at 1:10 PM

        Ha! Touche.

  8. cur68 - Nov 22, 2011 at 12:10 PM

    I love it. Gonna steal this guy’s MO all the way. When I go off the rails and decide to exact revenge on the sports bigwig of my choice this is what I’m going to do. I will however look underneath the frozen pizza for better fare before going for that. All lobster will be consumed before all frozen pizza, mark my words.

    Of course, since I’m me I wouldn’t be able to do this without doing something arcane and ridiculous as well, just to inconvenience Kenny at some random point in the future. Kenny, if it was me, your computer would be set for “Canadian French”, your socks would be mismatched, your clothes would be hung up inside out, and I would hide all of your pens, saving gear and cutlery in your toilet tank. I would also turn up the volume settings of all of your music gear to maximum: car, computer, stereo, jukebox, whatever I could lay my blubber greased paws on. If at all possible I would sync my Ipod with your computer and replace your entire digital library with Ann Murray, Celine Dion and Rita McNeil tunes. You would suffer.

    • yankeesfanlen - Nov 22, 2011 at 12:51 PM

      Joe Girardi’s place is probably so bland it has tofu pizza, Mrs. Paul’s fishsticks, beige walls only ornamented with a few Beep-beep posters.

      • cur68 - Nov 22, 2011 at 1:20 PM

        I imagine going after Joe would involve personalizing the attack. You’d have to hide all of his binders for a start. Then, out with the cayenne pepper and “fix up” all of his frozen food with it. Of course the “sharpie modification” of all posters of Jeets would be in the mix. I’m thinking your basic devil-horns & goatee with Frankenstein stitches and a bolt in the neck would greatly improve those posters. I’d probably want to brush up my graffiti skills and tag his walls with flames, skulls and random Latin quotes. I’d sign all the art work “Joe Torre”, too.

  9. southpaw2k - Nov 22, 2011 at 12:28 PM

    See, if only the perp took a piece of cake over some leftover pie in Kenny’s fridge, we could put an end to the whole cake vs. pie debate.

  10. Charles Gates - Nov 22, 2011 at 12:36 PM

    First, frozen pizza? That sheet will kill you.

    Second, what kind of beer was it? The ChiSox signed a 10 year deal with Miller Brewing Company.

  11. majmayhem - Nov 22, 2011 at 12:41 PM

    Then the cops realized it was just Barry Bonds.

  12. xmatt0926x - Nov 22, 2011 at 2:58 PM

    Friggen Hank Steinbrenner!!!

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