Comments on: Man arrested for breaking into White Sox GM’s house drank his beer and wore his World Series ring

By: xmatt0926x

xmatt0926x — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 19:58:25 +0000

Friggen Hank Steinbrenner!!!

By: cur68

cur68 — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 18:20:17 +0000

I imagine going after Joe would involve personalizing the attack. You’d have to hide all of his binders for a start. Then, out with the cayenne pepper and “fix up” all of his frozen food with it. Of course the “sharpie modification” of all posters of Jeets would be in the mix. I’m thinking your basic devil-horns & goatee with Frankenstein stitches and a bolt in the neck would greatly improve those posters. I’d probably want to brush up my graffiti skills and tag his walls with flames, skulls and random Latin quotes. I’d sign all the art work “Joe Torre”, too.

By: Kyle

Kyle — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 18:10:23 +0000

Ha! Touche.

By: Old Gator

Old Gator — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 18:06:56 +0000

If I didn’t know that Slobbering Ozzie was down here in Macondo yesterday I would have sworn…..

By: yankeesfanlen

yankeesfanlen — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 17:51:24 +0000

Joe Girardi’s place is probably so bland it has tofu pizza, Mrs. Paul’s fishsticks, beige walls only ornamented with a few Beep-beep posters.

By: majmayhem

majmayhem — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 17:41:17 +0000

Then the cops realized it was just Barry Bonds.

By: Charles Gates

Charles Gates — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 17:36:44 +0000

First, frozen pizza? That sheet will kill you.

Second, what kind of beer was it? The ChiSox signed a 10 year deal with Miller Brewing Company.

By: southpaw2k

southpaw2k — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 17:28:37 +0000

See, if only the perp took a piece of cake over some leftover pie in Kenny’s fridge, we could put an end to the whole cake vs. pie debate.

By: cur68

cur68 — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 17:10:27 +0000

I love it. Gonna steal this guy’s MO all the way. When I go off the rails and decide to exact revenge on the sports bigwig of my choice this is what I’m going to do. I will however look underneath the frozen pizza for better fare before going for that. All lobster will be consumed before all frozen pizza, mark my words.

Of course, since I’m me I wouldn’t be able to do this without doing something arcane and ridiculous as well, just to inconvenience Kenny at some random point in the future. Kenny, if it was me, your computer would be set for “Canadian French”, your socks would be mismatched, your clothes would be hung up inside out, and I would hide all of your pens, saving gear and cutlery in your toilet tank. I would also turn up the volume settings of all of your music gear to maximum: car, computer, stereo, jukebox, whatever I could lay my blubber greased paws on. If at all possible I would sync my Ipod with your computer and replace your entire digital library with Ann Murray, Celine Dion and Rita McNeil tunes. You would suffer.

By: b7p19

b7p19 — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 17:08:02 +0000

Right, but usually it’s your own home.

By: Alex K

Alex K — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 17:06:35 +0000

I was not at all offended. In fact, there are some not nice places in Uptown. Overall I like it.

By: Kyle

Kyle — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 16:53:18 +0000

Go big or go home.

By: yankeesfanlen

yankeesfanlen — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 16:43:35 +0000

No offense meant, Uptown is a nice+ neighborhood. Used to work in Humboldt Park.

By: firekenwilliams

firekenwilliams — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 16:41:00 +0000

The arrest and jail time will certainly throw this guy’s life upside down. Ken Williams has been having a mid-life crises off the field and professionally so maybe the dude wanted imitate Kenny in that regard.

Kenny’s ego probably pushed him out of the house.

By: Alex K

Alex K — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 16:38:30 +0000

I just want to comment, for the record, that we here in Uptown, Chicago don’t endorse our neighbor’s actions. Also, the perp lives quite close to the Red Line so he could take that baby all the way down to the South Side. I’m not sure where Kenny lives, however.

By: Glenn

Glenn — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 16:35:21 +0000

What was Ozzie thinking?

By: churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged

churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 16:31:37 +0000

Jesus Christ Ozzie, I thought you said no hard feelings!
-Kenny Williams

By: drmonkeyarmy

drmonkeyarmy — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 16:11:23 +0000

Yeah, real lack of foresight on that guys part. He should have taken the lobster out immediately giving it time to thaw. Dumb ass.

By: yankeesfanlen

yankeesfanlen — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 16:10:45 +0000

Didn’t know Kenny was a North Sider. The perp’s address is just north of…….Wrigleyville.

By: b7p19

b7p19 — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 16:08:24 +0000

I was with this guy right up until “got in his bed.” Thats creepy as hell. Also, he should have thawed and eaten the Lobster first instead of the Pizza.

By: uyf1950

uyf1950 — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 15:50:44 +0000

BTW, that burglar didn’t have a bucket of fried chicken with him did he? I hear beer and fried chicken go well together.