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Teams are inquiring about Alfonso Soriano for some reason

Nov 29, 2011, 10:31 AM EDT

alfonso-soriano-cubs AP

Ken Rosenthal says that teams are “kicking the tires” on Alfonso Soriano. I can only assume this means that they are kicking in anger, like you might kick the tires of your car when it breaks down on the side of the road. Not like you would when you were considering an investment in a quality used automobile.

Which leads me to ask: what, if anything, does kicking the tires on a car actually do? Is the car supposed to fall over if it’s no good? Is there a certain satisfying sound you’re supposed to get, not unlike when you plunk a melon in the grocery store?  Also: if I ask to look under the hood but I know nothing about cars, is there something specific I should pretend to do so the salesman doesn’t take me for the rube I am?  So many questions.

Back to Soriano: he’s owed $54 million over the next three years. People say stuff like “if the Cubs were to eat most of his salary …” but, really, even then, who wants Soriano?  He’s probably a DH at best now, and even then he’s a bit-of-power/no-OBP skills option.

Which of course means that the Braves will probably get him and stick him in left field. God, why do I bother to think these things through?

  1. WhenMattStairsIsKing - Nov 29, 2011 at 10:44 AM

    Please let this be true!!! Wow, if Z AND Alf were gone, we’d have all of those big ugly contracts gone. Make it happen Theo!

    • trevorb06 - Nov 29, 2011 at 11:28 AM

      If they were on Toronto they’d have already been traded without having to cover most of the contract.

    • 78mu - Nov 29, 2011 at 1:05 PM

      Find out if Jim Hendry is consulting with anyone and you’ll find the team.

  2. ndrocks2 - Nov 29, 2011 at 10:49 AM

    Here’s the poll question if you could only lose one contract and keep the other who do you keep Big Zzzz or Soriano?

    My pick is to keep Z just based on remaining skill set, but Z is crazy…

    • blueintown - Nov 29, 2011 at 10:55 AM

      I think I would actually keep Fonzy. He may be dumb and bad, but at least he gives you effort and by all accounts is a good locker room influence (whatever that’s worth).

      There’s just absolutely no way Z can ever play for this team again. If he’s not walking out on the team, he’s punching them in the face. Meanwhile, he’s just not a very good pitcher.

    • normb11 - Nov 29, 2011 at 11:22 AM

      There’s 1/$19M left on Zambrano’s deal, 3/$57M on Soriano’s.
      Not really a difficult choice.

  3. okobojicat - Nov 29, 2011 at 10:51 AM

    Craig, I know you are the lead anti-saberist around here, but Soriano actually has a decent defensive reputation for a LF.
    UZR
    2008: 26 (runs better than average)
    2009: -4.8
    2010: 6.3
    2011: 4.7

    All that said, if someone would accept 1/2 his salary, get him gone!

    • WhenMattStairsIsKing - Nov 29, 2011 at 10:54 AM

      That’s amazing, considering every time I feel like I see the guy out there, he makes a poor attempt at a play. It’d be nice if they got him to train like crazy to be a 2B again, And I mean like crazy.

    • Detroit Michael - Nov 29, 2011 at 10:55 AM

      The Fielding Bible Defensive Runs Saved, which probably is a better fielding metric, shows Soriano has below average in LF by 4-5 runs per year for three consecutive years.

    • okobojicat - Nov 29, 2011 at 11:00 AM

      @MattStairs,

      I agree with you that he looks terrible out there. But it appears that he gets to more balls than the average LF.

      @Detroit Michael,

      Yeah, I was wondering about the DRS. I noticed on Fangraphs (after i posted the UZR) they have him in the negative. I’m not sure I’d agree with you that it is a “better metric” as much as I use them equally.

  4. phukyouk - Nov 29, 2011 at 11:14 AM

    man oh man.. I would love to trade Arod for this guy… but NOONE Can be that stupid… right?

  5. dcfan4life - Nov 29, 2011 at 11:21 AM

    I am sure every GM is asking the Cubs how much of the contract they will eat. This is why having guarenteed contracts in baseball hurts teams. The Cubs are stuck wasting $54 million on a guy who right now would only play for a handful of teams. Amazing. I hate to say this as a true baseball lover, but they should have locked out these damn players this year and get more favorable deals against player contracts. It may never happen, but it should.

    • normb11 - Nov 29, 2011 at 11:25 AM

      So the problem is guaranteed contracts instead of the decision makers that sign them?

    • Alex K - Nov 29, 2011 at 12:42 PM

      So it’s now Soriano’s fault he was offered so much money? The Cubs are going to be fine no matter how much they have to pay Soriano.

  6. nolanwiffle - Nov 29, 2011 at 11:44 AM

    Pop the hood and tell the salesman you’d like to get a gander of the flux capacitor. He’ll know you mean business, and will undoubtedly sharpen his pencil in anticipation of the shrewd negotiating session to come.

    • Kyle - Nov 29, 2011 at 12:40 PM

      1.21 gigawatts MINIMUM

      • explodet - Nov 29, 2011 at 8:41 PM

        *jigga

  7. hopespringseternal - Nov 29, 2011 at 7:25 PM

    The photo that says it all.

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