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Mariano Rivera is going to have surgery on his vocal cords tomorrow

Dec 1, 2011, 12:26 PM EDT

Mariano Rivera

Mariano Rivera doesn’t talk much. He’s more of the silent assassin type.  But he’s been having some trouble lately: polyps on his vocal cords. He’s going to have surgery tomorrow to have them removed.

The polyps are non-cancerous things and recovery time should be quick. Obviously it won’t have much if any impact on his offseason prep.  At least as long as it doesn’t involve looking at himself in the mirror and loudly asking who’s the man.  Which, even if it did, is perfectly acceptable in Mo’s case.

  1. WhenMattStairsIsKing - Dec 1, 2011 at 12:31 PM

    Is this also so he can start singing “Enter Sandman” himself with a microphone as he walks to the mound?

  2. Charles Gates - Dec 1, 2011 at 12:38 PM

    Mo’s cutter is sharper than the scalpel the surgeon will use to remove the polyps.

    Of, if the polyps is removed with a laser, the laser has less precision than Mo’s cutter.

    The Doc will have to pay a royalty to Mo for using the Operating Room, as Mo copyrighted his term for the mound.

    Mo’s IV needs to be filled with ice water.

  3. Old Gator - Dec 1, 2011 at 12:41 PM

    Any chance of getting Michelle Bachmann and Herman Cain in on this procedure as a threefer? Quieting either one of them for a few weeks would really help lower our national embarrassment quotient, even if only temporarily.

    • WhenMattStairsIsKing - Dec 1, 2011 at 12:43 PM

      Cain’s better off with a vasectomy, though I wouldn’t mind Bachmann being silenced so she can stop trying to pray away perfectly moral and unoffensive sexual preferences.

      • Old Gator - Dec 1, 2011 at 12:53 PM

        So far, Cain seems to have been careful about everything but his choice of extracurricular activities. Steve Garvey, now there’s a guy that could’ve used one….

      • aceshigh11 - Dec 1, 2011 at 1:24 PM

        Great comment.

      • churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged - Dec 1, 2011 at 2:34 PM

        [oh why the hell not, i’m blatantly stealing this from twitter from a person whose name I can’t remember]

        The only thing Herman Cain knows about foreign affairs is he hasn’t been accused of one yet.

      • WhenMattStairsIsKing - Dec 1, 2011 at 3:13 PM

        Which comment, aces?

  4. cur68 - Dec 1, 2011 at 12:43 PM

    Hope it all goes well for him. I reckon, when you got a better cutter than the guy with the knife, it can be a bit nerve wracking letting the other dude do the slicing.

  5. yournuts - Dec 1, 2011 at 1:00 PM

    Get well soon Mo. It will be great to see you in pinstripes soon.

  6. aceshigh11 - Dec 1, 2011 at 1:26 PM

    How remarkable that the ageless wonder needs surgery not on his SHOULDER or his ELBOW or his KNEE, but his VOCAL CORDS, of all things.

    Legend. Absolute legend.

    (And yes, I know he had surgery a couple of years ago, but still…)

  7. sdelmonte - Dec 1, 2011 at 2:07 PM

    Alas, this means that when CC’s voice gives out during the Yankees’ caroling, they’ll have to go to Soriano.

    • Kevin S. - Dec 1, 2011 at 8:44 PM

      David Robertson will sing much better, although he’d only take in a fraction of the donations.

  8. sasman50 - Dec 1, 2011 at 10:35 PM

    don’t like the yanks, but respect them and their players – hope surgery goes fine and no issues.

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