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They never learn: someone else is making a long commitment to Barry Zito

Dec 1, 2011, 12:59 PM EDT

San Francisco Giants v Arizona Diamondbacks Getty Images

And you thought seven years was a long commitment to Barry Zito:

Barry Zito, one of the great hunks of Giants baseball, is headed to the altar. The three-time All Star pitcher and his fiancee, 25-year-old actress Amber Marie Seyer — a former Miss Missouri USA — showed up at the Marin County clerk’s office Nov. 18 to take out a marriage license.

I was gonna say something snide about the “great hunks” line and how it’s so fluffy and trivial, but then I remembered I wrote several hundred words about “Baseball Wives” this morning, so I’m pretty much disqualified from acting like I’m better than anything ever.  And it’s not like I’m posting this thing about Zito ironically or anything.  I own the fluff content of this blog. Own it proudly, jack.

Anyway, the best part of it was that the clerk asked Zito if he wanted a confidential marriage license or if it was OK for it to be a public document and he said public was fine because “I’m over myself.”

How about you, Giants fans? You over Zito too?

  1. anotheryx - Dec 1, 2011 at 1:08 PM

    It’s funny that new Mrs. Zito’s wiki page has no mention of her hubby at all.

    • Chip Caray's Eyebrows - Dec 1, 2011 at 1:40 PM

      To be totally fair … he’s not her “hubby” yet.

  2. uyf1950 - Dec 1, 2011 at 1:10 PM

    Why should true love be stymied by money. After all his 25 year old fiancee has 126MM reason to love the guy.

    • xmatt0926x - Dec 1, 2011 at 1:16 PM

      And here I thought it was the 80’s porn star mustache that the chicks were into. But…$125 million, dates hot actresses including Alyssa Milano. Looks like he won after all. (then again, is there a ballplayer alive who Alyssa Milano hasn’t banged?)

      • uyf1950 - Dec 1, 2011 at 1:21 PM

        Let me know when he gets around to Kim Kardashian.

      • aceshigh11 - Dec 1, 2011 at 1:28 PM

        Zito’s a white boy…he’s got no chance with Kim Kardashian.

      • Kevin S. - Dec 1, 2011 at 2:25 PM

        What, did she loses her temporary color blindness 72 days after she married Kris Humphries?

      • uyf1950 - Dec 1, 2011 at 2:37 PM

        Kevin, actually Kris is only half white.

  3. Old Gator - Dec 1, 2011 at 1:14 PM

    And anyway, since when was marriage a long term “commitment”? Seems you can’t distinguish it from a “sentence.”

    Then again, what’s necessarily “long term” about it? Let’s see if they make it as far as Ethel Merman and Ernest Borgnine before we assess its impact on either one’s capability to accrue additional insignificant others.

    • channingtaintum - Dec 1, 2011 at 2:11 PM

      When it comes to celebrity/sport star marriages, they always end after either 1 of 2 things dry up: the money or the woman.

  4. ducksouped - Dec 1, 2011 at 1:18 PM

    I wish this guy would disappear. He’s the worst thing that has happened to the giants, and baseball in general, he’s what wrong entirely with professional sports contracts. How this ever happened is beyond me. Think of the money the giants would have to sign a power bat or two. And he’s not even nearly trade worthy. I hate you Barry zito, I hate you so much. very time I see him on the mound I wanna vomit. Just say it, one hundred and twenty six thousand dollars. How’s that sit?

    • JBerardi - Dec 1, 2011 at 2:05 PM

      “I wish this guy would disappear. He’s the worst thing that has happened to the giants, and baseball in general, he’s what wrong entirely with professional sports contracts.”

      You’re talking about Brian Sabean, right? Because otherwise this doesn’t make any sense.

      • Kyle - Dec 1, 2011 at 2:16 PM

        Yeah, I mean, seriously.

  5. ducksouped - Dec 1, 2011 at 1:21 PM

    Make that one hundred and twenty six million. God that’s so much worse. I hate him more now

    • cur68 - Dec 1, 2011 at 1:46 PM

      Easy dude. I worry for your blood pressure with all that rage: I imagine you look like Ric Flair preparing to go all Nature Boy on someone, when I read that. But, jeez, ducks, don’t marry him then. Its that simple. As for Zits as a baseball entity well, I guess you could go all Nature Boy on that dude who gave him the deal. …

      • phukyouk - Dec 1, 2011 at 2:11 PM

        I cannot play for shit.. but i PROMISE you that if someone walks up to me RIGHT NOW and offers me $126 Mil to pitch i would take it without hesitation and endure all the hate that comes with it… if you are really pissed off hate the idiot that gave out the contract not the smart one that signed it ( as cur said)

  6. channingtaintum - Dec 1, 2011 at 1:24 PM

    I think it’s safe to say that this part-time ball player, part-time guitar strummer, and full time D-Bag just might be the luckiest man in the world.

  7. aceshigh11 - Dec 1, 2011 at 1:28 PM

    I’d rather take a chance on Chuck Zito at this point…

  8. legacybroken - Dec 1, 2011 at 1:49 PM

    He’s also Bobby Ewing’s nephew.

  9. hushbrother - Dec 1, 2011 at 2:01 PM

    Hopefully she won’t go all Tawny Kitaen on him

  10. APBA Guy - Dec 1, 2011 at 2:27 PM

    Great work Craig! Nicely presented.

  11. rhandome - Dec 1, 2011 at 2:36 PM

    Saw the headline, and for a brief moment I thought the Red Sox or Angels or someone had actually traded for Zito, a la the Vernon Wells deal. Thanks for getting my hopes up only to cruelly dash them!

  12. bmoreballers - Dec 1, 2011 at 3:21 PM

    Man I remember like 10 years ago zito was my favorite player in baseball. I wanted to throw a curve as nasty as his so bad. Sucks he’s a joke now

  13. yournuts - Dec 1, 2011 at 4:58 PM

    Barry is a good guy. The Giants and Brian Sabean, who was just rewarded were the ones who offered him the contract. Barry can still pitch but nobody will pay that kind of money to him and he probably hates it in San Francisco by now. I wish him good luck with his marriage and his career.

  14. hgrubsttipkcuf - Dec 1, 2011 at 8:36 PM

    congrats barry. now you don’t have to jerk off as much as you used to

  15. loungefly74 - Dec 2, 2011 at 9:40 AM

    Pre-nup Barry! gotta have that.

    as a Giants fan…yeah, i’m pissed he is not living up to to expectations but having 3 other great pitchers and a recent title softens the blow (winning cures all).

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