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Report: In 1999 Russ Davis “had more flow than Rockefeller has dough”

Dec 2, 2011, 1:00 PM EDT

Mr. Plow rap

I don’t even know what to do with this. I always sort of regretted that I quit buying baseball cards in the late 80s, but Jon Bois’ latest installment of “Sports Cards for Insane People” over at SB Nation has made me really regret it.

Yes, SkyBox put out a set in 1999 in which whoever writes the blurbs for for baseball cards wrote raps to describe guys like … Jamie Moyer. And Bruce Chen. And Russ Davis. ¬†Because that’s all so apt. ¬†I mean, yes, some things age poorly, but how that ever seemed like a good idea is beyond me.

But hey, our gain. I think. Oh my god.

  1. cur68 - Dec 2, 2011 at 1:09 PM

    It was with a clear conscience that I report that I read all that and laughed. In the year of my loathing, 1999, I was in Melbourne supporting my wife through her never ending PhD thesis and totally missing baseball. I would have welcomed a set of “rapped-up” baseball cards the same way I used to welcome any break from the endless whining about how lousy, stupid, mean spirited and churlish PhD supervisors who went to Cambridge were. I look back on it all now am just grateful baseball carried on with out me, rap and all.

  2. phukyouk - Dec 2, 2011 at 1:18 PM

    …. That Name again is Mr Plow

  3. Travis Reitsma - Dec 2, 2011 at 2:21 PM

    I’m Mr. Plow, and I’m here to say,
    I’m the plowin’est guy in the USA.
    I got a big plow and I’ll move a lot of things,
    Like your cow if you have one…

    • 1943mrmojorisin1971 - Dec 2, 2011 at 3:35 PM

      hahaha you beat me to it

  4. baseballisboring - Dec 2, 2011 at 2:42 PM

    That’s the worst thing I’ve ever laid eyes upon. It’s not even particularly close.

  5. unknowneric - Dec 3, 2011 at 3:37 PM

    But did he have more hits than Saduharu Oh?

    • Bryz - Dec 3, 2011 at 7:04 PM

      Beastie Boys, they are not.

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