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Report: Manny Ramirez “is calling teams directly”

Dec 6, 2011, 3:10 PM EDT

Manny Ramirez AP

News of Manny Ramirez’s comeback predictably failed to create a bidding war for the 39-year-old with a 50-game suspension looming over his head, so Bob Klapisch of the Bergen Record reports that Ramirez is “so intent on finding work he’s calling teams directly.”

Oh what I wouldn’t give to hear those calls.

“Billy Beane here.”

“Hello. This is Manny Ramirez.”

[Click.]

I’m not going to even bother making up any more pretend dialogue, because it’s funny enough without it.

The only thing better is if Ramirez mis-dials and ends up calling Brett Favre, because as we all know he’s always willing to listen if anyone gives him a call.

 

  1. phukyouk - Dec 6, 2011 at 3:20 PM

    “The only thing better is if Ramirez mis-dials and ends up calling Brett Favre, because as we all know he’s always willing to listen if anyone gives him a call.”

    HAHAHAHA! Your move Craig….

    • 78mu - Dec 6, 2011 at 4:46 PM

      When you might be lucky to get a minimum contract less the 50 days you can’t afford to pay an agent too.

      I wonder if he is calling them collect or did he get unlimited long distance with his cell phone plan.

      • pjmarn6 - Dec 6, 2011 at 8:56 PM

        If he was an intelligent person, he would have wisely invested half he take home pay after taxes and have millions to fall back on. Baseball stats show that 78% baseball millionaires declare bankruptcy less than five years after retiring. They never believe the money stream is ever going to end. He earned over $200,000,000 in his 19 seasons. Lets see 10% to agent. 35% taxes. Thats $110 million clean. And he burned through all that? Its going to be cold until his pension starts.
        Had he invested half of that $110 million in stocks that pay 15% dividends with a good manager, he would have now an after tax income of $6-$7 million. I betcha he didn’t do that.

      • mgottlieb - Dec 6, 2011 at 9:55 PM

        @pjmarn6 – Manny has quite a bit of deferred compensation from his LA deal. He will be paid 7 figures for a long long time. He just needs the game, not the money.

  2. skids003 - Dec 6, 2011 at 3:21 PM

    Anyone who even talks to this loser is an idiot.

    • bleedpurplenblack - Dec 6, 2011 at 3:42 PM

      ..which is why he’ll end up being a Baltimore Oriole.

  3. WhenMattStairsIsKing - Dec 6, 2011 at 3:26 PM

    This just reeks of Bonds-like desparation.

    • thefalcon123 - Dec 6, 2011 at 3:31 PM

      Sure, Bonds was a known steroid user who would have brought a media circus with the signing and 8 tons of emotional baggage he would unload on his teammates too…
      …but he would have been doing it coming off a season with a 1.045 OPS.

      And no one will willing to sign him. Give it up Manny.

  4. cosanostra71 - Dec 6, 2011 at 3:45 PM

    “The only thing better is if Ramirez mis-dials and ends up calling Brett Favre, because as we all know he’s always willing to listen if anyone gives him a call.”

    +1

  5. shadows in bloom - Dec 6, 2011 at 3:55 PM

    now we’re talking favre in baseball even? come one people! the guy had trouble retiring from a job he loves that he’s done all of his life so he gets blasted and now every time some qb goes down the media pulls out the favre card so they can all debate it and get their reads and print sales. the media is a joke as well as the punchline. please – try and use a few brain cells! anyone buying manny will probably get a good deal…for a little while anyway. he’ll actually try because he has something to prove and then once he thinks he’s proved it he’ll go back to the old selfish, lazy moron that got him where he is today.

    • shadows in bloom - Dec 7, 2011 at 2:32 PM

      my bad…guess people have nothing better to do than drag an old football player into the baseball mix…what was i thinking?

  6. bozosforall - Dec 6, 2011 at 4:01 PM

    Manny should just call the Red Sux…after all, it’s the easiest place for him to get his “boli” on.

    • shadows in bloom - Dec 7, 2011 at 2:34 PM

      brilliant! oh wait, they’re the ones who tried to give him away but didn’t get any takers so they ran him out of town. guess you’re just stupid after all

  7. mojosmagic - Dec 6, 2011 at 4:21 PM

    ‘Get Ed Wade on the phone. Oh crap, Ed was fired. Dam he was my best shot’.

  8. mmctyre - Dec 6, 2011 at 4:30 PM

    I tend to think of Manny Ramirez as today’s version of Shoeless Joe Jackson. A guy who only knows how to play baseball and nothing else. And without baseball he’s lost in the daily world.

    Yes, he’s made mistakes, and he probably doesn’t have much left in the tank, but I can’t fault him for trying to get back in the game when you consider the aforementioned.

    • havlicekstoletheball - Dec 6, 2011 at 6:10 PM

      @mmctyre,

      When you say Manny knows how to play baseball, do you include catching fly balls and running out grounders to shortstop?

      He hasn’t proven he knows how to do either of those.

  9. bozosforall - Dec 6, 2011 at 4:42 PM

    Without Manny, the Red Sux are nothing. He basically won them the only two WS titles in nearly 100 years. All they need to do is to power him up with those special Boston “beans” and he would be ready to go.

    • aceshigh11 - Dec 6, 2011 at 7:10 PM

      You are one pathetic, desperate little cocksucker.

    • shadows in bloom - Dec 7, 2011 at 2:36 PM

      yeah….that starting pitching that won 8 straight WS games and lost 0 had nothing to do with it. Thanks Manny for all your help on the mound! dumbass

  10. Matt Aromando - Dec 6, 2011 at 5:08 PM

    My take on this matter: http://www.mattaromando.com/2011/12/06/the-return-of-manny-ramirez/

    Basically, I’m pretty sure Manny knows everyone thinks he’s dead at this point. Literally, dead.

    • WhenMattStairsIsKing - Dec 6, 2011 at 5:20 PM

      No, he’s not literally dead. He may have been a shady guy with a huge ego, but let’s not call him officially deceased, k?

      • Matt Aromando - Dec 6, 2011 at 7:27 PM

        I’m not calling him dead, I said GM’s might very well think he’s dead.

  11. itscookeyo - Dec 6, 2011 at 6:27 PM

    Didn’t he already serve a 50 game ban? I thought the second offense was 100 games..

    • shadows in bloom - Dec 7, 2011 at 2:30 PM

      yeah but for some reason mlb reduced it to 50 games. maybe time served for sitting out the whole season? i dunno. dumbass should have just served his time in the first place. he could sit at home “retired” or sit at home serving the suspension and then retire if he wanted, and then be able to come back when he wanted. now he has to sit some more and hope some one is desperate enough to sign him!

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