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While we wait to see if the Marlins land Pujols …

Dec 6, 2011, 2:12 PM EDT

Image (1) Loria.jpg for post 4206

Look, I just feel like we need to get out in front of this stuff now, OK?  So just know that you’re all on notice of the following ethical considerations:

1. Anyone who describes Albert Pujols going to Miami in terms that even remotely refer to the LeBron James situation shall be fined $200 and then shunned from whatever social and/or professional group to which they belong;

2. If you ignore rule number one and then go so far as to describe Pujols as “taking his talents to South Beach,” you will be fined, shunned and then flogged with an obvious stick. And we’ll make you pick the very obvious stick with which you shall be flogged; and

3. Anyone who anoints the Marlins as the 2012 NL champions based on a Pujols signing shall be fined, shunned, flogged and then shall be forced to watch every single game the 2011 Boston Red Sox and Philadelphia Phillies played. And then you’ll have to write a report about it.

This would be huge news, folks. Let’s not try to make it even huger with unwarranted hyperbole and kneejerk reactions. Cool?

Of course it is.

  1. umrguy42 - Dec 6, 2011 at 2:15 PM

    I’ll avoid LeBron, but I reserve the right to use the terms “hypocrite” and “mercenary”.

    • thefalcon123 - Dec 6, 2011 at 2:17 PM

      I do kind of want to throw batteries at him (and he hasn’t even signed anything).

      Today, I finally understand Phillies fans.

      • mondogarage - Dec 6, 2011 at 3:30 PM

        Do you mean the Phillies fans who puke in little girls’ laps, or those who live by the motto, “Don’t Tase Me, Bro?”

        Twice previous, the Cards counted on him giving hometown discounts. You don’t lowball the greatest hitter of at least two generations, and expect him to actually owe you any fealty afterwards. While there’s absolutely nothing wrong with the Cards’ current offer, they laid the ground work for this situation multiple times over the last 10 years. Reap, sow, and all that jazz.

        That said, I don’t trust much of what Heyman says, and this whole Marlins “offer” may not even be legit. Just saying that the Cards certainly helped make their own bed here, so hope you save a few AAs for the front office.

    • paperlions - Dec 6, 2011 at 2:33 PM

      That is fair….he said it wasn’t just about the money, but seem to only care about the money. If it was about winning, the Cardinals still have a more talented roster without Pujols than the Marlins do without Pujols.

      To be clear, I have no problem with people caring more about the money than anything else, but be honest about it. Even if he stays with StL, the underlying facts remain unchanged.

      • mondogarage - Dec 6, 2011 at 3:34 PM

        When they say “its not about the money”, that’s a bit of a misnomer, though.

        Because they don’t seem to make it be “I need $22m a year, $19m a year just won’t pay my entourage”….

        Rather, it’s a matter of ego (not money, per se), which says they have to be the highest paid player because they’re the best player. Which, naturally, leads to the consequence of this being about the money, even when it’s not abou the money.

        I blame AFraud…not for the ego of the situation, but for why 9 years, $198m ain’t enough to get it done.

      • cosanostra71 - Dec 6, 2011 at 3:49 PM

        Alex Rodriguez also told the Mariners it wasn’t about the money.

      • stlouis1baseball - Dec 6, 2011 at 6:18 PM

        Paper: This is exactly what I have been lamenting since World Series Title #11 was secured. He has ALWAYS maintained winning, consistent playoff appearances and competiting for World Series titles are paramount. If so…then Miami certainly isn’t the place to go is it? I mean…it’s all about winning. Yeah…St. Louis doesn’t do much of that huh? Pretty simple for me…
        if he leaves (and does NOT go to a perennial contender)…he is a lying sellout.

  2. dlevalley - Dec 6, 2011 at 2:16 PM

    Pujols is just like LeBron, taking his talents to South Beach!!1 2012 WS in the baaag!!!!

    • 78mu - Dec 6, 2011 at 3:05 PM

      Well he is just like LeBron if you believe Albert is just entering his prime performance years. And if you believe that one player on a five man basketball team is the same as one hitter on a baseball team.

      If Albert is just now hitting his prime, egad he’ll be putting up numbers that will outperform this contract and put him up there past Ruth and Williams among MLB hitters. But I don’t think that’s the case.

    • mondogarage - Dec 6, 2011 at 3:35 PM

      And the 2012 offseason Marlins fire sale is already lining up.

  3. sjs1959 - Dec 6, 2011 at 2:18 PM

    Only if Albert has a one-hour special on ESPN to announce the signing.

  4. rambodiaz - Dec 6, 2011 at 2:18 PM

    Instead, how about we focus on “Who’s going to take on the contract once the shine of the new stadium wears off and people stop buying tickets for Marlins games?”

    It’s hard to put any faith in long term commitments when you’re talking about The Fish.

  5. randygnyc - Dec 6, 2011 at 2:19 PM

    You’re right, there’s nothing remotely similar. One deal involves a perennial MVP. A player with a decade + of excellence. And a player who has won championships. Compare that to a guy who’s still “trying”.

  6. mojosmagic - Dec 6, 2011 at 2:24 PM

    Should have gone for Vince Young. Seriously Fielder was the smart move being younger and LH. This is about putting Latino @sses in the colorful seats.

    • normb11 - Dec 6, 2011 at 2:27 PM

      I’m sure it has nothing to do with Pujols being one of the best players ever.

  7. joshftw - Dec 6, 2011 at 2:26 PM

    Still, it would be fun to try and watch the Phillies win 102 games with actual divisional competition.

    • HitsDingers - Dec 6, 2011 at 2:50 PM

      Competition from who?


      Nolasco-Sanchez-Volstad-Hand-Villanueva (Johnson injured for always)



      That is only competition in the sense that they physically play against one another.

      • phukyouk - Dec 6, 2011 at 3:18 PM

        I thought Cepts was banned from the site?

      • Gobias Industries - Dec 6, 2011 at 3:21 PM

        Dotel-Jackson-Carpenter. Better luck next year.

      • El Bravo - Dec 6, 2011 at 5:03 PM

        LOL you can’t even remember all of the teams in your favorite squad’s division. Nice try.

  8. xmatt0926x - Dec 6, 2011 at 2:29 PM

    And somewhere, deep inside the bowels of the Cardinals front office there are executives taking a huge sigh of relief that they won’t be stuck with a horrible contract for 5 of the 10 years. As we have all seen over the years the goal is simply to get to the playoffs and hope to get the most breaks here and there during the short series. The Cardinals are good enough to win the World Series without Pujols. Their pitching should be top notch next year and if guys like Craig, etc continue to produce the offense should be fine. Mind you, as a phillies fan I would rather them not be fine, but they will be. St. Louis is a desireable location for free agents so they will make up the offense at some point. I honestly don’t think the Cardinals execs will have any problem sleeping tonight if he signs with the Marlins.

  9. 12strikes - Dec 6, 2011 at 2:37 PM

    Can we sell banners/make shirts/buy billboards that say “162-0” or “ciento sesenta y dos y el cero”?

  10. jeteribarelyknowher - Dec 6, 2011 at 3:18 PM

    hitsdingers, I see you conveniently left out Atlanta.

  11. SOBEIT - Dec 6, 2011 at 3:20 PM

    Pujols will make his “Decision” soon!

    • richeich - Dec 6, 2011 at 5:54 PM

      Who cares. Let the traitor go just so for 5 minutes he can say he had the biggest contract ever.LOL!

  12. hasbeen5 - Dec 6, 2011 at 3:37 PM

    Since apparently this is all for the Latino fans, it’s Playa Sur hombre, Playa Sur.

  13. Old Gator - Dec 6, 2011 at 3:41 PM

    Well Craig, you will need a royal rackmaster down here – a Richard Topcliffe or Thomas Norton of your own. That doesn’t suit me; even my days of burning ants with a magnifying glass were over by the time I was 40.

    So, who you gonna get?

    • stex52 - Dec 6, 2011 at 9:41 PM

      Guantanamo is quite close.

  14. trevorb06 - Dec 6, 2011 at 3:57 PM

    WATCH EVERY PHILLIES GAME FROM THE 2011 SEASON?! Where does bicepts sign up?!

    [is it still funny to joke about that gomer?]

    • El Bravo - Dec 6, 2011 at 4:39 PM


  15. iranuke - Dec 6, 2011 at 6:09 PM

    There are several differences between Mr. Pujols and Mr. James. Mr. Pujols actually has won a couple of rings. Mr. Pujols is a much better player for his sport. I think that Mr. Pujols speaks Spanish, which should help imensely for maketing in “Little Havana”.

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