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Derek Jeter gives his hookups autographed baseballs

Dec 13, 2011, 9:40 AM EDT

Derek Jeter Reuters

From the New York Post:  Things that Derek Jeter can get away with that just about no one else on the planet can get away with:

“Derek has girls stay with him at his apartment in New York, and then he gets them a car to take them home the next day. Waiting in his car is a gift basket containing signed Jeter memorabilia, usually a signed baseball,” the friend dished.  “This summer, he ended up hooking up with a girl who he had hooked up with once before, but Jeter seemed to have forgotten about the first time and gave her the same identical parting gift, a gift basket with a signed Derek Jeter baseball,” the pal said. “He basically gave her the same gift twice because he’d forgotten hooking up with her the first time!”

Valuable, at least if you’re not looking too hard for bargains.  And it’s so much classier than giving cash.

I suppose.

125 Comments (Feed for Comments)
  1. thefalcon123 - Dec 13, 2011 at 10:43 AM

    Yes, I will be signing a baseball for my wife the next time we do it so I can be all classy and shit like Jeter.

    • drunkenhooliganism - Dec 13, 2011 at 11:49 AM

      exactly what I’m gonna do. Now I just have to find a baseball and get my effin kids to go to effin sleep before the wife and I just pass out from rage

    • stlouis1baseball - Dec 13, 2011 at 11:53 AM

      Hahaha! He said “do it.”

  2. 12strikes - Dec 13, 2011 at 10:47 AM

    Hmm… Can any MAN admit to having a JETER SIGNED BALL with out geting the “Oh Really” look

  3. bloodysock - Dec 13, 2011 at 10:49 AM

    Damn, now all my conquests are going to be expecting a gift basket.

    • florida727 - Dec 13, 2011 at 12:18 PM

      Both of them?

  4. - Dec 13, 2011 at 10:52 AM

    I wonder how many balls Minka Kelly has?

    • bloodysock - Dec 13, 2011 at 11:38 AM

      Did Mariah give hers to Nick Cannon?

    • phukyouk - Dec 13, 2011 at 11:42 AM

      in the name of all thats holy in this world i hope that the answer is ZERO!

  5. spudchukar - Dec 13, 2011 at 11:38 AM

    A ball for a ball. A degree of symmetry. Of course the 4-digit serial number might be a little off-putting, and while it isn’t exactly an exclusive club, at least baseballs don’t wilt.

  6. ricofoy - Dec 13, 2011 at 11:40 AM

    Jeets gives the fellas an autographed bat the next morning.

  7. phukyouk - Dec 13, 2011 at 11:43 AM

    2 pages and not a single Arod/Jeter gay joke.. I am honestly shocked!

    • cur68 - Dec 13, 2011 at 11:57 AM

      The juxtaposition of your comment with the ricofoy comment is the best part of this thread, ‘youk…

      • bozosforall - Dec 13, 2011 at 1:46 PM

        The timing of your comment here, following the one pasted below from an earlier post of yours, is most certainly the most hypocrtical:

        cur68 – Dec 13, 2011 at 10:30 AM
        bozo, why is it the vast majority of comments you make seem to involve behinds, BJ’s, gender issues, or some other slur-type comment to do with homosexuality? Seriously man, your gender confusion and self-disgust is really spilling over here. No one cares that much about your orientation, okay? Keep it to yourself if you can’t handle it or get help. Its not a crime or insult to be gay. Accept it, and stop over compensating like this. Jeez…

      • cur68 - Dec 13, 2011 at 4:14 PM

        Gosh! I’ve never been quoted before. Thanks man. Every word of that I said about you is true, too.

      • bozosforall - Dec 13, 2011 at 7:23 PM

        Believe what you wish, cur. I’ll continue to live my life otherwise.

        Like I said before, feel free to send one or more of any decent-looking female friends you have, so that I can show them what my “true nature” really is.

        You can keep all the guys for yourself.

      • cur68 - Dec 13, 2011 at 7:41 PM

        Well thanks for your permission bozo. I will continue to believe that your numerous, unfailing gay slurs have to do with your own conflicted sexual nature.

        As to my lady friends and acquaintances, they are free to do as they please of course, and in the interests of fairness I’ve made it known on page one that your offer of proof is up for grabs for the lovely lady commenters here on HBT (in theory of course: you can relax). But I fear that you are heading for disappointment there. Perhaps if you didn’t spend so much time being such an unfailing dolt you’d get at least 1 offer.

        Hey! I have an idea: create a new user name (your “lady” self as it were) and proposition yourself just like you always +thumb your own comments. That’ll work for you, I’m sure.

      • bozosforall - Dec 13, 2011 at 8:12 PM

        No need to do as you suggest…I get plenty enough in real life. Not near as much as Jeter…but more than enough to keep me busy. Meanwhile, you just keep giving Mitt Romney hell up there in New Hampshire, Mr. Bob Garon (saw you in the local paper today…nice red flannel jacket, are you a Log Cabin Republican by chance?). You tell him exactly how you feel about repealing that law that says that you can be with your beloved Bob Lemire for all of eternity. I’m rooting for you!

      • cur68 - Dec 13, 2011 at 8:34 PM

        Haven’t the foggiest as to what political issue you are commenting on there bozo: Canadian, remember? Whatever you’re on about, I hope its resolved fairly.

        Just one last thing: most heterosexual guys (I won’t presume to speak for those that are not heterosexual) never “get enough”. Its been my life-experience, growing up with 2 brothers, discussing the matter with my friends and just generally observing, that no matter how much you are getting, unless you have some low hormone problem, you still want more. In my opinion (please do keep in mind that I work in healthcare, so my opinion is based on clinical experience as well as on my own life-experience) its one of the defining characteristics of being male and healthy. Anyone going around saying that they “get enough” isn’t “getting” any. Ya might want to work on that little nuance.

      • bozosforall - Dec 14, 2011 at 9:47 AM

        As for your comment regarding how most heterosexual guys never “get enough”…it’s not about “wanting more” (e.g., living in fantasy land) but about reality (i.e., real life). And in that regard, after taking care of real world responsibilities and other necessary non-sexual necessities in life, when I say that I’m “getting enough”, rest assured that it’s still far above the national average. So regardless of what your ” life-experience, growing up with 2 brothers, discussing the matter with my friends and just generally observing” says, as well as your “clinical experience as well as on my own life-experience” says, wanting it and actually getting it are two entirely different things. Have fun circle-jerking with your brothers though, as you all lament how you all aren’t “getting enough”. Ya might want to work on that little nuance.

        BTW, an extremely high sex drive is even more characteristic in homosexuals, so you might want to consider that option for yourself. Not bashing, just giving you a bit of friendly advice. Fortunately for you, if that is the case, it appears that both Canada and New England are very gay-marriage friendly, so you have that going for you.

  8. stlouis1baseball - Dec 13, 2011 at 11:44 AM

    Autographed Memorabilia? Really? Wow.
    Gotta’ be one of the cheesiest things I have heard in a long, long, looong time.
    Freaking autographed memorabilia. Hahaha!

  9. chitownmatt - Dec 13, 2011 at 11:45 AM

    My mommy gave me a baseball autographed by Mr. Jeter ball a few months ago…

    I asked her where she got it.

    She said not to worry about that.


  10. mdpickles - Dec 13, 2011 at 12:00 PM

    I guess its better than giving the hookup herpes.

    • unclemosesgreen - Dec 13, 2011 at 12:47 PM

      Who says it’s an either/or situation? The gift basket may have a sample of Valtrex …

  11. aceshigh11 - Dec 13, 2011 at 12:00 PM

    I don’t see what’s classless about this.

    DON’T TELL ME that the women hooking up with Jeter don’t know the drill by now.

    He’s a lifelong bachelor living the dream…they’re both getting what they want out of a one-night stand. The women aren’t being used…they know exactly what they’re doing.

    Not getting married is probably the smartest thing Jeter’s ever done. More ballplayers should follow his lead, because god knows the vast majority of them end up cheating on the road anyway.

    • stlouis1baseball - Dec 13, 2011 at 12:06 PM

      Classless? I don’t know about that. Narcissitic? Yes. Cheesy? Hell Yes!

      • aceshigh11 - Dec 13, 2011 at 12:26 PM

        Well the New York Post called it “classless”…which is HILARIOUS, because that despicable crypto-fascist rag is the definition of “classless.”

        But yes, “narcissistic” and “cheesy” are good words to describe this too.

      • indaburg - Dec 13, 2011 at 2:05 PM

        Narcissistic + Cheesy = Classless

      • bozosforall - Dec 13, 2011 at 2:12 PM

        Loser New England sports fans dogging Jeter, yet giving Tom Brady kudos for knocking up Bridge Moynihan and then hooking up with Gisele Bundchen. Hypocrisy at its finest.

        And if the Post is “classless” then so is the Boston Globe.

      • orangeflh - Dec 13, 2011 at 2:37 PM

        “And if the Post is “classless” then so is the Boston Globe.”

        What are you… 12?

      • bozosforall - Dec 13, 2011 at 2:54 PM

        What are you…someone without an origiinal comeback in your empty head?

      • anythingbutyanks - Dec 13, 2011 at 4:11 PM

        Geez Bozo…the way you’ve been carrying on- you’re pissed that you didn’t get your autographed ball, eh?

      • orangeflh - Dec 13, 2011 at 4:12 PM

        Okay. 12 it is then.

      • bozosforall - Dec 13, 2011 at 7:25 PM

        Ooooooh…..such witty reparte…NOT.

        Come back when you all graduate from grade school.

      • bozosforall - Dec 13, 2011 at 7:27 PM

        anythingbutyanks – Dec 13, 2011 at 4:11 PM
        Geez Bozo…the way you’ve been carrying on- you’re pissed that you didn’t get your autographed ball, eh?

        Sounds more like you are gloating because you got that autographed mini-bat from your favorite Red Sox player.

  12. tuloisgod - Dec 13, 2011 at 12:03 PM

    Come on, guys, you’re being hard on the ol’ Captain. Doesn’t anyone remember the time a few years back that the two “club girls” got into a public dispute because he didn’t even validate their parking? I think he’s come a long way!

  13. phukyouk - Dec 13, 2011 at 12:03 PM

    How long till Nike signs him to a new “Just do it” campaign ?

  14. Tim's Neighbor - Dec 13, 2011 at 12:10 PM

    A move straight out of the Sopranos… Though Tony, a sociopath, wasn’t so full of himself to autograph his little gifts. Ugh.

  15. tuftsb - Dec 13, 2011 at 12:27 PM

    It must have been creepy for Bob Sheppard to record the “now climaxing, number two, Derek Jeter” tape.

    But then again, it’s better than having the John Sterling version – “it is hard, it is in, it is done”

  16. urfinished - Dec 13, 2011 at 12:33 PM


  17. spudchukar - Dec 13, 2011 at 12:55 PM

    Redefining Screwball. Take that Carl Hubbell.

  18. thejokewriter - Dec 13, 2011 at 1:00 PM

    At least he hit the “sweet spot”…twice!

  19. daisycutter1 - Dec 13, 2011 at 1:08 PM

    This is so much better than A-Rod’s parting gift of a centaur photo, a bodybuilding DVD and a ride home from his cousin.

  20. tuftsb - Dec 13, 2011 at 1:27 PM

    The car ride home the next day starts with the ritual playing of a DVD with Michael Kay saying “see ya!”

  21. fmlizard - Dec 13, 2011 at 1:45 PM

    Gift baskets? Are these jersey chasers or contestants on The Gong Show?

  22. startedin67 - Dec 13, 2011 at 3:10 PM

    What, no Official MLB representative on hand to give the girl a Certificate of Authenticity???

    • jwbiii - Dec 13, 2011 at 5:02 PM

      I think the butler trevorb06 spoke of earlier is negotiating for a contract.

  23. pelters1 - Dec 13, 2011 at 3:20 PM

    The baseballs would be much more valuable if they were signed and numbered.

  24. jayquintana - Dec 13, 2011 at 3:59 PM

    GIRL: Oh, Derek!
    JETER: Oh, me!

  25. jayquintana - Dec 13, 2011 at 4:07 PM

    I hate to brag, but my love life is Jeter-esque. I’ve had “relations” with 3 women. What’s odd is, I’ve been married 4 times.

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