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Vicente Padilla: “erect, proud, shining, and solid”

Jan 2, 2012, 3:12 PM EDT


This is actually a Best Shape of His Life story, but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to use that phrase as a headline.

It comes from a story by Osman Rosales Cruz at El Nuevo Diario in Nicaragua, where Vicente Padilla is plying his trade this winter. And it’s a thorough tongue-bathing.  Thanks a million to Nick Collias who translated and brought it to my attention:

“There was Vicente Padilla, erect, proud, shining, and solid. Oh, how exquisite! Without a doubt, all of us who had the opportunity to see the hurler from Chinandega on the hill at Estadio Roque Tadeo Zevala in Granada enjoyed this superb outing, in which his fastball reached up to 95 mph.

And although he left without earning a decision in los Tigres’ 2-1 victory over los Orientales, due to a home run to Roland Garth with Adolfo Matamoros on base in the ninth inning, those seven innings from Padilla were captivating—a true wonder.

Evidence of his ferocity remained imprinted in the hand of catcher Luani Sánchez, who skillfully handled the repertoire of the Nicaraguan who, according to sources, could be wearing a Miami Marlins uniform in next year’s big league season.

Is it true that you’re ending up with the Marlins?

“Maybe,” said the Nicaraguan with a smile. “I feel very good, you saw how I pitched, and you can get an idea of the shape I’m in,” offered Padilla, who continues showing signs of a great change in the way he deals with the press. He was a total gentleman.

I know he’s pretty famous in his native country, but man, talk about a fanboy writeup.   And while I can think of many things I’d call Padilla, I’m not sure “total gentleman” is one of them. But hey. it’s not my game story.

  1. proudlycanadian - Jan 2, 2012 at 3:16 PM

    Thanks for the laugh.

  2. supersnappy - Jan 2, 2012 at 3:22 PM

    Vicente Padilla is dreamy

  3. lostsok - Jan 2, 2012 at 4:18 PM

    Team Vincente for the WIN!

  4. cowboysoldiertx - Jan 2, 2012 at 4:22 PM

    That is the gayest headline i have ever read on HBT.

    • JBerardi - Jan 2, 2012 at 8:04 PM

      So then as a presumed non-gay, are you flaccid, ashamed, dull, and infirm?

    • WhenMattStairsIsKing - Jan 3, 2012 at 5:17 PM

      Homosexuality should never be used as an insult. That’s hate speech.

  5. cur68 - Jan 2, 2012 at 4:34 PM

    It seems cruel to mock Vincente any more than Mother Nature already has…but WTF. That is one . . . unique lookin’ dude. I think the clock on my computer has stopped. Now I must go, for the image of Vinvcente is making me a trifle unwell…

  6. jwbiii - Jan 2, 2012 at 4:49 PM

    I remember my wedding night, too!

  7. crisisjunky - Jan 2, 2012 at 10:29 PM

    Didn’t recognize him in the Dodge uni, but that IS the dude I just watched Squidward
    serve up a Crabby Patty.

  8. pogodog7 - Jan 2, 2012 at 11:24 PM

    I hope he can pitch when he is erect.

  9. muckthefets23 - Jan 3, 2012 at 12:34 AM

    After reeling all day from that pitiful flyers performance, this headline made my day. Absolutely hilarious, thanks Craig…

  10. mgflolox - Jan 3, 2012 at 1:48 AM

    Well this story is a HUGE letdown after that headline.

  11. purnellmeagrejr - Jan 3, 2012 at 8:12 AM

    throbbing, pulsing, thrusting ….

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