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Roy Oswalt “being eyed” by the Cardinals

Jan 3, 2012, 4:14 PM EDT

Roy Oswalt Reuters

Phrasing. Seriously people. Just makes the Cardinals sound like creepers.

But according to Nick Cafardo, the Cardinals are “eyeing” the free agent Oswalt. The free agent Oswalt who is open to a one-year deal and would be really attractive to any number of teams on such a basis. And who, back when he was on the trading block from the Astros in 2010, made it clear that St. Louis was a place he would have been eager to go if a deal could be struck.

But really people: can we go back to “kicking the tires?” ┬áBecause all of this “sniffing around” and “being eyed” stuff is all so “Dateline: NBC” and it’s really weirding me out.

  1. SmackSaw - Jan 3, 2012 at 4:17 PM

    They’re the only team that makes sense. Well, them and the D-backs.

    • baseballisboring - Jan 3, 2012 at 4:36 PM

      Sox? Yanks? Tigers?

    • Kyle - Jan 3, 2012 at 5:09 PM

      Almost any team in the league?

      • JBerardi - Jan 3, 2012 at 6:44 PM

        Yeah, those guys.

  2. fearlessleader - Jan 3, 2012 at 4:21 PM

    A one-year deal between Oswalt and the Cards could be a terrific way to bolster the rotation until some of the team’s highly-touted young arms are ready for the big time.

    But if I were the Rally Squirrel, I’d fear for my life. Oswalt’s got a score to settle.

  3. stlouis1baseball - Jan 3, 2012 at 4:24 PM

    Hahaha! To Craig…the Cardinals are this years Phillies. Don’t hate Craig…embrace.

    • WhenMattStairsIsKing - Jan 3, 2012 at 4:42 PM

      Nobody here hates Craig. Oh, you meant to put a comma there! #obnoxiousdictioncommentors

      • stlouis1baseball - Jan 3, 2012 at 5:34 PM

        Thanks for the puncuation lesson Mrs. Reynolds.
        Mental note: Vehemently disagree w/ and thumbs down everything Matt posts.

      • WhenMattStairsIsKing - Jan 3, 2012 at 5:53 PM

        I was just being silly. I even called myself obnoxious in my unnecessary hashtag.

      • stlouis1baseball - Jan 3, 2012 at 5:54 PM

        I hear you Matt. I missed the obnoxious part. Well…I saw it after I posted the reply.

  4. sabathiawouldbegoodattheeighthtoo - Jan 3, 2012 at 4:25 PM

    I understand they like him and they are excited, but in the eye?!? That’s gross.

  5. WhenMattStairsIsKing - Jan 3, 2012 at 4:35 PM

    Are they giving him sexy eyes? Sleepy eyes? Scary eyes? Is he their pitching bullseye? This is much too vague.

    • foreverchipper10 - Jan 4, 2012 at 5:18 PM

      If the Cards were a mystery team we could say that private eyes *clap clap* are watching him.

  6. El Bravo - Jan 3, 2012 at 4:36 PM

    I heard Fielder is getting eye-raped by the Nats. Too much? Tone it down in 2012? Thoughts?

    • kopy - Jan 3, 2012 at 4:39 PM

      Well, with guys like Joe Mauer “reaching first base at an above-average rate” I’d say romance and baseball terms go hand-in-hand.

    • stlouis1baseball - Jan 3, 2012 at 4:40 PM

      “Eye raped?” Hahaha! That’s a new one. I have heard “eye….” Hint: Rymes with sucked.
      But never “eye raped.” Thanks Bravo.

      • El Bravo - Jan 3, 2012 at 4:47 PM

        You see, an eye-f@ck implies the recipient is a willing partner in said situation, which oftentimes (alwaystimes?), they are not. Therefore, the aforementioned ocular intercourse would be non-consensual.

      • stlouis1baseball - Jan 3, 2012 at 5:39 PM

        Oftentimes Bravo…but certainly not always.
        Case in point…the first time I met my Wife she “eye f**ked” me from across the room.
        To the point of me feeling violated. LOL! Initially, it wasn’t consensual.
        But the following week when I saw her…certainly consensual.

      • El Bravo - Jan 3, 2012 at 5:48 PM

        [stlouisbaseball to his children when asked how they first met]

        “So, your mom was eye-raping from across the room….”

  7. phukyouk - Jan 3, 2012 at 4:37 PM

    I am assuming that cause its NBC you couldn’t use the phrase “eye fuc*ing” could you?

    • stlouis1baseball - Jan 3, 2012 at 4:41 PM

      You know that’s right Youk.

      • stlouis1baseball - Jan 3, 2012 at 5:57 PM

        Now that is funny Bravo! Except…we are gonna’ have to come up with a better “how we met story.” Somehow…I am thinking telling them she was drinking under age in a bar while visually violating me will not allow her to be held the high esteem she so richly deserves.
        As they say…better left un-said.

  8. l0yalr0yal - Jan 3, 2012 at 4:47 PM

    I wish Kansas City would feel him up. Maybe touch on him a little bit.

  9. cur68 - Jan 3, 2012 at 4:56 PM

    I blame Epstien. He started all this “stalking” stuff with Crawford last pre-season. Some guys just can’t take a “no”.

    • stlouis1baseball - Jan 3, 2012 at 5:35 PM

      Theo thinks no means yes.

  10. westcoastredbird - Jan 3, 2012 at 5:50 PM

    I think the term that was used several weeks ago when the Cardinals were interested with Carlos Beltran was that the Cardinals were “realizing traction”. It appears the Cardinals are realizing traction with another ex-Astro. Berkman, Beltran and why not Oswald. You don’t know when the kids will be ready and you don’t know what to expect from Lohse and Westbrook. Lynn makes a great swing man. As we saw in the playoffs and World Series you can never have enough pitching. It makes up for the loss of AJ and Socrates.

    • stlouis1baseball - Jan 3, 2012 at 5:53 PM

      Westcoast! Where you been man? So tell me…how was the Christmas party out West?
      Did you get much flack?

      • westcoastredbird - Jan 4, 2012 at 11:23 AM

        The Christmas party went really well. There’s not a natural rivalry with the Cards and Angels so everything went really well. When you’re in Cardinal gear other fans know you know your stuff. I kept getting asked by Angel fans about Abert so I told them what they wanted to hear. The New Year’s party I went to with 20 other west coast Cardinal fans was really cool. Although we love Albert for his contribution to Cardinal nation it was time to move on. One of our crew thought the only way to get over Albert was to have a mini funeral. We had a Pujols jersey bonfire and then a Pujols pinata bashing. The pinata contained 250 milliion dollar bills purchased for $75, stredded newspapers, and 5 $100 crisp dollar bills. Albert was put to rest as we watched game 6 and 7 of the World Series. It sucks even more than Albert landed on our doorstep. Time to move on and defend our World Series title. Before Albert there was Big Mac after Albert there might be a Big Matt.

  11. paperlions - Jan 3, 2012 at 5:55 PM

    I am against this idea.

    Oswalt was a team mate of Bagwell; Bagwell was muscular, therefore, he did steroids; Oswalt throws the ball harder for longer than a small man should be able to, therefore, Oswalt did steroids…..and there are two “separate” lines of evidence, throwing the ball hard and being team mates with Bagwell. Obviously, he’s a ‘roider.

    • stlouis1baseball - Jan 3, 2012 at 5:59 PM

      Undoubtedly Paper.
      Additionally, they each have ONE syllable 1st names and TWO syllable last names.

      • jwbiii - Jan 3, 2012 at 8:34 PM

        Wow. I also have ONE syllable in my first name, TWO syllables in my last name, and a tube of clobetasol propionate right over here. Amazing!

        I guess that clears Roger and Barry. Cal Ripken, you got some splainin’ to do.

    • 78mu - Jan 3, 2012 at 10:00 PM

      Oswalt played in the steroid era. Thus he should never be considered for the HOF. Heck he probably should be suspended for 50 games just for being around someone suspected of juicing. Per some writers we must have the punishment now and we’ll have the trial later.

      And since Oswalt never stole anywhere near the number of bases Vince Coleman did at least one voter won’t ever vote for him.

      sarc/off

  12. hushbrother - Jan 3, 2012 at 6:36 PM

    Just have a seat.

  13. tn16 - Jan 3, 2012 at 7:11 PM

    Blue jays?

  14. stew48 - Jan 3, 2012 at 7:30 PM

    Just when I have been telling folks that the baseball commenters seem to be a cut or two above the NFLers, I read this bunch of garbage. Oh, well.

  15. spudchukar - Jan 3, 2012 at 8:24 PM

    Not to say I told you so, but this has been apparent for a while. Berkman is his good buddy, it places him close to home in northern Mississippi, (hold the tractor quips) and he wants a ring. Plus he has indicated he is favorable to calling St. Louis home, only has a couple of years left in him, and the Cards have plenty of young arms on the horizon.

    It also allows the Cards to move either to another team, or the bullpen, Lohse or Westbrook. Let’s face it they have proved to be effective for only 4 or 5 innings. Of course they have no-trade contracts, but assuming one or the other would wave it to be overpaid in NY, a deal for Nunez could still happen.

    • stex52 - Jan 3, 2012 at 11:08 PM

      Hope it does. Oswalt makes StL tough for another shot at the WS.

  16. metalhead65 - Jan 4, 2012 at 8:40 AM

    I would say the reds should look into signing him but they will wait until he can no longer pitch effectivly and then walt can sign him since then he will be a washed up former cardinal and he just can’t get enough of those.

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