Comments on: Marlins acquire Carlos Zambrano and $15 million from the Cubs for Chris Volstad

By: unclemosesgreen

unclemosesgreen — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 18:39:33 +0000

Not a problem – already handled – Ozzie already knows that he can hypnotize Zambrano by wiggling his vulvic vermillion border.

On the day when I was born
Daddy sat down and cried.
I had the mark just as plain as day;
which could not be denied.

By: Old Gator

Old Gator — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 16:52:48 +0000

Assuming the dice aren’t loaded with psychoses. It’s not much of a roll if the crazy bastard keeps comeing up snake eyes. As Jerry, who lives, once sang:

They say that Cain caught Abel
Rolling loaded dice
Ace of spades behind his ear
And him not thinkin’ twice….

By: Old Gator

Old Gator — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 16:50:39 +0000

Has Scott Walker restored collective bargaining?

By: Old Gator

Old Gator — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 16:49:41 +0000

I take that back. Randy is right. That’s like taking an injection of HeLa cells to see what happens.

By: psousa1

psousa1 — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 16:42:00 +0000

Theo is picking up where he left off – paying guys to play for other teams. In this case it is a good thing. Looks like the Marlins are trying to implement that great NY Mets blueprint from about 6 years ago…………………….How’d that work out?

By: Kevin S.

Kevin S. — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 16:26:57 +0000

“Sure, Tony, you can put me down as a reference on your next job application!”

By: Old Gator

Old Gator — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 14:47:58 +0000

I agree with Randy as well. I mean, would you want someone on your team that someone else was willing to pay you fifteen million dollars to take?

By: comeonnowguys

comeonnowguys — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 14:38:12 +0000

It could be low risk. Unless you’re a Gatorade machine.

By: comeonnowguys

comeonnowguys — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 14:33:41 +0000

Commenters over on PFT thumb down expressions of sympathy when someone dies. Nothing surprises me.

By: comeonnowguys

comeonnowguys — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 14:32:23 +0000

This comment is not a joke.

By: skids003

skids003 — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 13:54:55 +0000

I wouldn’t trade Zambrano for a bag o balls.

By: Old Gator

Old Gator — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 13:36:39 +0000

I don’t know about cancer. More like psoriatic arthropathy.

By: Old Gator

Old Gator — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 13:34:41 +0000

Santa didn’t deliver Zambrano. Theo heard Krampus was taking a week off in the sun so he stuffed his most psychotic employee into his suitcase. How they got him by the TSA I we’ll never really know – probably, the guards were distracted by someone’s cupcake.

By: Old Gator

Old Gator — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 13:32:32 +0000

Ptooey: kinda like Brian Dennehy taking a baseball bat to that hideous sculpture at the end of Legal Eagles, no?

Oddly enough, if you look at that sculpture in the movie, it does bear a startling resemblance to the monstrosity Scrooge McLoria has decreed for the twilight zone beyond center field.

By: Old Gator

Old Gator — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 13:26:25 +0000

When: sorry I forgot about this question in my angst over this incredibly stupid acquisition. Nope, nothing for Dobbs yet. He just kinda goes out there quietly and does his job. Nicknames occur to me spontaneously - ex: I was watching The Iron Giant with some of my dogs one sodden Macondo monsoon afternoon and there was a scene where the robot was looking down at the kid it befriends - and the robot looked just like Mike Stanton in a Feesh publicity photo. That was that. I don't try to force them; my parents left the telomeres off the latch to the hatch to my subconscious, so I can just let my incipient dementia praecox do the rest.

By: Old Gator

Old Gator — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 13:18:16 +0000

NL East Smackdown.

By: crash1582

crash1582 — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 13:00:00 +0000

Dear Carlos….. the Braves like hitting off of you a lot. Look forward to seeing you much more thougout the year…. Love. Atl.

By: istillbelieveinblue

istillbelieveinblue — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 12:37:25 +0000

Dr. Phil is an ass hat, but you still get a thumbs up for this.

By: willcoop

willcoop — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 12:03:36 +0000

Randy you were reading my mind. You have a major powder keg between those two. I suggest putting them together as room mates and locker mates, on one side of the lover room. It’s going to be really interesting to see how it goes first time Zambono pitches in Wrigley. Kevalar is the uniform of choice that day, somebody is getting lit up on the Cubs, watch and see.

By: randygnyc

randygnyc — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 05:54:44 +0000

Between Hanley and zambrano you couldn’t have a more cancerous pair of teammates. The downside on this is HUGE. This is a mistake, at any price, for the marlins.

By: cur68

cur68 — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 05:37:34 +0000

Well FC, they say De-Nile is a river in Africa. I submit that there are a lot of large reptiles in it. So far, the most interesting stories of the 2012 campaign have been out of or associated with Macondo. Interesting for the off season but I’ll further submit that this will be as nothing to the coming campaign of 2012. Pitcher’s & Catchers in t-minus 45 days…

http://mycountdown.org/fullpage.php?cp3_Hex=0F0200&cp2_Hex=050375&cp1_Hex=F9F9FF&ham=0&img&hbg=0&hfg=0&sid=0&fwdt=150&lab=1&text1=Pitchers%20and%20Catchers%20Report&text2=ST%202012%20Countdown&group=My%20Countdown&countdown=My%20Countdown&widget_number=3010&event_time=1329652800&timezone=UTC

By: 78mu

78mu — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 04:24:07 +0000

Soriano was never worth his contract. People fall in love with someone that combines power and speed but in Soriano’s case his best year was when he was 30 and he got a contract like he would be a 40/40 guy for the next 7 years.

Hendry was lucky the Cubs could afford his contract and still manage to put a team on the field that at least made the playoffs. Of course Soriano went 3 for 28 in the playoffs so that didn’t make the contract look any better.

By: 78mu

78mu — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 04:09:29 +0000

I feel sorry for the Gatorade coolers.

By: 78mu

78mu — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 04:07:21 +0000

Has any team hired Hendry?

By: Francisco (FC)

Francisco (FC) — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 04:07:10 +0000

No, he’ll be carried out in a straight-jacket by then.

By: Francisco (FC)

Francisco (FC) — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 04:03:09 +0000

Well he certainly couldn’t go any worse…

By: ptfu

ptfu — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 03:53:26 +0000

And that’s before that seizure-inducing home run display has gone off!

If and when Z has a meltdown, hopefully someone hands him a bat and points him toward the home run seizure thingie. Can’t think of anything I’d prefer to see bludgeoned to death

By: spudchukar

spudchukar — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 03:44:15 +0000

0+Z=X

By: marshmallowsnake

marshmallowsnake — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 03:03:47 +0000

You are correct.

By: willcoop

willcoop — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 03:00:33 +0000

One thing is certain. All those empty seats will be filled in Florida, especially on days when Zambrano is hurling and Ozzie comes out to pay a visit. This could be the first fist fight on the mound by a pitcher and manager ever. And that’s on Ozzies first visit to the bump. So credit the fish with populating the new stadium because it’s going to be worth the price of admission.