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The Orioles spoke with the Cubs about Alfonso Soriano for some reason

Jan 6, 2012, 10:01 AM EDT

Alfonso Soriano Reuters

Roch Kubatko of MASNSports.com reports that the Orioles have spoken to the Cubs about a potential trade involving Alfonso Soriano. Based on various other reports in the past few days suggesting that Soriano isn’t going anywhere, it’s quite possible that this refers to past talks that similarly went nowhere. But it is fun, if for no other reason, than it gives Orioles fans something to smack their heads about.

I mean, Soriano, if he was going to Baltimore, would basically be this year’s version of Vlad Guerrero. A once-great name providing league-average-at-best hitting in a position (DH) that calls for better-than-league-average hitting. That doesn’t get the O’s anywhere.

Soriano is probably staying in Chicago. And in light of this morning’s news, that’s not the worst news facing Cubs fans today.

  1. WhenMattStairsIsKing - Jan 6, 2012 at 10:14 AM

    If Soriano was gone…the Cubs would lose their last albatross. I hear faint ‘Hallelujah’ music in the distant background…don’t tease us, Duquette!

    • 78mu - Jan 6, 2012 at 1:04 PM

      If the Cubs are lucky Hendry is secretly advising the Orioles and other teams about a great LF with speed and power. Maybe as part of his severance package he has to talk to the other GMs and get them interested in Soriano. Stir up some buzz.

      After all, the other GMs must like Hendry for all he’s done to keep them from signing free agents to really bad contracts.

      • WhenMattStairsIsKing - Jan 6, 2012 at 1:33 PM

        I still defend Hendry somewhat; Soriano was the Tribune’s call, Fukudome was offered a contract competitive with many others, and wasn’t even the biggest. Z’s deal wasn’t absurd at the time it was made, and Lee’s & Aramis’s were good enouh…though I can’t defend the Bradley deal at all.

  2. nategearhart - Jan 6, 2012 at 10:22 AM

    Craig, I love ya. But don’t you dare ever compare the prime of Soriano to that of Vladimir Guerrero. Sure they’re both rotten now, but Vlad is a hall of famer. Soriano was just lucky enough to play for the Yankees when he was marginally useful, and milked that fame boost into a whole buttload of money. No comparison!

    • El Bravo - Jan 6, 2012 at 10:25 AM

      While I agree that Vladdy has a more illustrious career, you are overlooking Soriano’s great year with the Nats (his best) and years with Texas. There was no milking the Yankee cow, he was actually really damn good. I mean, he had a 40-40-40 year for poop’s sake!!

      • nategearhart - Jan 6, 2012 at 10:33 AM

        He did make good in Washington, I agree (though the 70% stolen base rate sucks, but I’m picking nits a little). But look past the HR totals in the Texas years; factor in his awful defense and his below-average OBP among other things and I’d argue that Soriano was actually pretty terrible with the Rangers.

      • El Bravo - Jan 6, 2012 at 10:46 AM

        He was a 2B right? I can’t even remember anymore. I do know he couldn’t have been worse than he is at LF, but that isn’t saying much!

      • nategearhart - Jan 6, 2012 at 11:08 AM

        Yeah, he was playing second, and leading off. Both years there he got 33 walks. LEADING OFF.

      • 78mu - Jan 6, 2012 at 1:10 PM

        That great year with the Nats got everyone drooling over what Soriano could do. Unfortunately for the Cubs, it was to be the last great year of his career

        Vlad has a career OPS+ of 140. Soriano has one season with an OPS+ over 130. VG has had a way better career than Soriano.

      • El Bravo - Jan 6, 2012 at 1:17 PM

        Unfortunately for the Cubs, there were only two people on earth that didn’t think that year with the Nats was his career year and that it would be downhill from there. One was Soriano, the other was Jim Hendry….

      • foreverchipper10 - Jan 6, 2012 at 4:01 PM

        This is not comparing the careers of Soriano and Vlad. Craig simply stated that if Soriano headed to the O’s it would be another player who used to be a stud, but is now past their prime, playing in Baltimore.

  3. mojosmagic - Jan 6, 2012 at 10:36 AM

    Dear God why????

    • thefalcon123 - Jan 6, 2012 at 1:37 PM

      I assume the talks were a just a sick joke.

      Dan Duquette: Hey, Theo! I wanna talk about Soriano! [puts hand over the phone and snickers]

      Theo Epstein: Oh my god! Really!!! [settles down, uses cool voice]. I mean, cool. We could possibly work out a deal.

      Dan Duquette: Deal? No, I just wanted to talk about how sad it is that you still owe that sack of crap $54 million dollars! [Hangs up, high-fives Buck Showalter]

      Theo Epstein: [Stares into the phone, lips trembling. A single tear appears in one eye].

      • WhenMattStairsIsKing - Jan 6, 2012 at 3:21 PM

        I’d find this funnier if Theo and Jed weren’t currently fleecing teams left and right as they begin their rebuild :)

  4. jeffbbf - Jan 6, 2012 at 10:39 AM

    Baltimore = dumping ground for Cubs’ crap: Corey Patterson, Felix Pie, Sammy Sosa. Why not Soriano?

    • El Bravo - Jan 6, 2012 at 10:45 AM

      + D Lee (albeit indirectly)

      • stinkfist5 - Jan 6, 2012 at 12:48 PM

        …as well as Jake Fox, Ryan Flaherty, Lou Montanez, and Rocky Cherry. Good ol’ McPhail really planted his roots in Baltimore, didn’t he?

    • WhenMattStairsIsKing - Jan 6, 2012 at 12:33 PM

      That was mostly because former Cubs GM Andy MacPhail was running the O’s at the time.

  5. dowhatifeellike - Jan 6, 2012 at 11:18 AM

    noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

  6. phaseetious - Jan 6, 2012 at 11:31 AM

    The Orioles are hoping they can use the report as leverage in their ongoing quest to bring Vernon Wells back to the AL East.

  7. hammyofdoom - Jan 6, 2012 at 11:37 AM

    Oh please pleeeaaase orioles make this move, I’d pay good money to watch Soriano swing and miss against Red Sox pitchers. Hmm Soriano is underlined as misspelled as I write this, and my computer thinks it should be “Rianon” instead. Que?

  8. brewcrewfan54 - Jan 6, 2012 at 11:51 AM

    This headline is just fantastic!

  9. deathmonkey41 - Jan 6, 2012 at 11:51 AM

    I’m not sure if the Orioles are interested because of his sparkling outfield defense or his incredible discipline at the plate- or possibly his team friendly contract.

  10. Old Gator - Jan 6, 2012 at 12:11 PM

    I think if we had ever seen the view from the front door of Sanford and Son‘s office, it would have looked a lot like the current Oriole’s roster.

    • WhenMattStairsIsKing - Jan 6, 2012 at 3:24 PM

      Does Dan Duquette commonly yell “I’M COMING ELIZABETH!!!”?

      • Old Gator - Jan 7, 2012 at 12:01 AM

        I don’t know, but I’d bet my electric meter reader’s few healthy organs on the black market that he has cracked his share of Shirley Chisholm paper bag jokes – or, if he doesn’t remember Shirley (or has suppressed his recollections), then Nancy Pelosi paper bag jokes.

  11. deathmonkey41 - Jan 6, 2012 at 1:05 PM

    How can the Cubs unload Zambrano and Soriano, but the Yankees can’t unload Burnett????

    • El Bravo - Jan 6, 2012 at 1:21 PM

      I believe it’s because the Yankees can still be a good team with or without Burnett so their incentive to move him yet still pay him is lower. The Cubs will be sub-par with or without those two jokers, it’s only a matter of payroll and rebuilding for them, thus their incentive is higher to move ‘em sooner (or yesterday re Big Z).

  12. benandjerrysberryhorny - Jan 6, 2012 at 1:07 PM

    Peter Angelos couldn’t possibly live to be 90, could he?

    • WhenMattStairsIsKing - Jan 6, 2012 at 3:25 PM

      Didn’t he do that 50 years ago?

  13. Old Gator - Jan 6, 2012 at 11:58 PM

    Look, let’s face it – the Orioles will talk to anyone about anybody. They’re total conversation whores.

  14. djammer - Jan 7, 2012 at 12:45 AM

    If they paid enough of Soriano’s contract to make him a $6 million/year player, he’s worth that. It’s the market. He hits HRs. His speed is gone. I’d see a line in Baltimore this year of .268/.310/415. 23 HRs/78 runs/85 RBIs. That is worth $6-8 mil in this day.

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