Skip to content

Wanna buy John Smoltz’s house?

Jan 11, 2012, 5:01 PM EDT

Smoltz House

John Smoltz was a great pitcher. He made a lot of money pitching. With that money, he bought a crazy-big house that, even though he had four kids, is about ten times too big for any human-scale family.

It has ten bedrooms and 14 bathrooms and is over 18,000 square feet.  Maybe it would be appropriate for some extended royal family situation.  Maybe the Duggar family could put it to use.  But the Smoltzes had to get lost in that joint on a regular basis.

Anyway, now it can be yours if you want it.  You just have to (a) come up with $7.2 million; (b) move to Milton, Georgia; and (c) figure out how to pay the air conditioning bills.

Recommendation: win 213 games and save another 154 while striking out over 3000. That pays quite well.

Click through the above link for tons more pics.

  1. phillieschamps2012 - Jan 11, 2012 at 5:04 PM

    I hear that Smoltz’ house also comes equipped with a shed full of sandpaper to scuff up those baseballs. So, if you are a promising pitcher with some cash to spend and a disposition to cheat, this is the house for you.

    • El Bravo - Jan 11, 2012 at 5:12 PM

      At least this was marginally creative trolling. You’re improving.

      • phillieschamps2012 - Jan 11, 2012 at 5:17 PM

        I am “rolling a fatty” right now and laugh at your placation. You know, as well as everyone else knows, that John Smoltz was a cheating, baseball scuffing pitcher. Right? In other words, he was a scumbag, just like Lenny Dykstra, Barry Bonds, Manny Ramirez, etc. Right?

      • El Bravo - Jan 11, 2012 at 5:25 PM

        Wow, you really are high as a kite!

      • phillieschamps2012 - Jan 11, 2012 at 5:29 PM

        El Bravo,

        Every time I converse with you, I must be high as a kite, old friend.

      • cur68 - Jan 11, 2012 at 5:29 PM

        Mazzone said it was pine tar. Anyways, who cares? Did Smoltz get pine tar all over that house or scuff the floors or something relevant to the sale of that estate/fortress of solitude?

      • El Bravo - Jan 11, 2012 at 5:32 PM

        Ok, you said “old friend”….you ARE cepts aren’t you? Don’t be coy cepts, we know it’s you.

      • phillieschamps2012 - Jan 11, 2012 at 5:35 PM

        I never kiss and tell, Serrano. Let’s just say that I have conversed with you in detail in the past, oh Braves lover.

      • phillieschamps2012 - Jan 11, 2012 at 6:03 PM

        El Bravo, aka Jason Heyward,

        Yes. I am the one and only Bicepts. I can’t prove it, but I am, as some on this board have speculated. I love Roy Halladay, Ryan Howard, Chase Utley and company more than ever and am looking forward to 2012. I can’t wait. 40 days until pitchers and catchers report. I am into baseball mode big time now!!!!

      • Reflex - Jan 12, 2012 at 6:37 AM

        Goddamn it.

      • koufaxmitzvah - Jan 12, 2012 at 9:39 AM

        Champts.

    • bigleagues - Jan 12, 2012 at 8:28 AM

      You could go TWO weeks without soiling the same porcelain!

      For me that’s one hell of a selling point. But that’s just me.

  2. WhenMattStairsIsKing - Jan 11, 2012 at 5:08 PM

    Why on earth would he sell that? What a ridiculously amazing house.

    • dan1111 - Jan 12, 2012 at 4:43 AM

      I like how one of the pictures shows a fold-away bed. What?? You have to use a room for more than one thing?

  3. 1943mrmojorisin1971 - Jan 11, 2012 at 5:18 PM

    The Red Sox will wait until the house its way past its prime so they can pick it up cheap. Then they will abandon it a couple of months later.

    • WhenMattStairsIsKing - Jan 11, 2012 at 5:20 PM

      That sounds familiar….

    • paperlions - Jan 11, 2012 at 6:01 PM

      Ruben Amaro just offered $12M for the house, but he doesn’t need to move in for another 2 years.

  4. foreverchipper10 - Jan 11, 2012 at 5:30 PM

    I think I….yep…..definitely shit myself when I looked through those pics. Stunning piece of property.

  5. muckthefets23 - Jan 11, 2012 at 5:36 PM

    Dude!! That’s a god damned castle! Not a house!! I’m just wondering where he keeps the life size replica of the millennium falcon!

  6. mojosmagic - Jan 11, 2012 at 6:30 PM

    Not a bad price do he should be able to sell. The upkeep must be killing him.

  7. Gordon - Jan 11, 2012 at 8:09 PM

    It will take forever to get rid of that “old man smell”.

  8. Chipmaker - Jan 11, 2012 at 8:10 PM

    Football field? 18 hole golf course? Yeesh.

    The pics are lovely, but there really needed to be some balls, gloves, cleats, bats, and caps strewn about, with a Smoltz jersey hung from a barstool as well. It just looks too… sterile, staged. C’mon, you’re selling John Smoltz’ crib, make it look a little bit like Smoltz lived there.

  9. danielcp0303 - Jan 11, 2012 at 8:32 PM

    I wish I lived there growing up. Could sneak away to any room and make sure nobody ever caught me.

    • trevorb06 - Jan 11, 2012 at 9:24 PM

      masturbating?

  10. xmatt0926x - Jan 11, 2012 at 9:21 PM

    Nice house but you know 85% of those rooms were never used other than a forced “I guess we should really use this living room at some point” gathering. It is one of the nicer celeb houses that I’ve seen pictures of.

  11. drewzducks - Jan 11, 2012 at 10:29 PM

    No doubt the 14 bathrooms were needed as his hair kept clogging all the drains.

  12. Walk - Jan 12, 2012 at 4:51 AM

    If i had that home or one like it to return to i would have been the worst postseason pitcher ever. I know baseball players pay the price of missing their families and not seeing them as they grow so it is actually nice to get a peek of some of the tradeoffs.

  13. thefalcon123 - Jan 12, 2012 at 9:47 AM

    $7.2 million….I could probably scrap that.

    Let’s see: 7,200,000 minus the entire contents of my checking account at the moment=
    $7,195,343 remaining.

    Damn….so close.

    • thefalcon123 - Jan 12, 2012 at 3:42 PM

      Well, actually, I should include the value of my 401k, savings, and other assets.

      So, $7,195,343 minus 401k/savings/real estate/investments
      equals….
      $7,195.343

      Shit…

  14. Brandon Warne - Jan 12, 2012 at 11:14 AM

    My goodness…what a positively opulent place.

  15. bravojawja - Jan 12, 2012 at 11:41 AM

    I cannot recommend living all the hell way up in Milton. It’ll take you two hours to get to a ballgame.

Leave Comment

You must be logged in to leave a comment. Not a member? Register now!

Featured video

A's, Tigers big winners at trade deadline
Top 10 MLB Player Searches