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The Rangers have “made inquiries” about Roy Oswalt

Jan 13, 2012, 8:20 AM EST

oswalt getty Getty Images

I swear, someone decided this winter that we’re going to talk about Roy Oswalt like he’s a 17 year-old girl in the 1950s.  First people were “eyeing” him.  Now Gerry Fraley of the Dallas Morning News reports that the Rangers have “made inquiries.”

Gee, I hope they talk to Roy’s father first and declare their intentions. We musn’t besmirch his good name.

Anyway, Oswalt on the Rangers is one of those things that always seemed to make sense because they always seemed to need pitching and he played in the state of Texas for so long and all of that.  But assuming Yu Darvish signs — a safe assumption — Texas isn’t exactly desperate for starters these days, what with Lewis, Holland, Feliz, Harrison, Ogando and Darvish.  Adding Oswalt would probably only give Ron Washington an excuse to return Feliz to the pen and that would just put me in a foul mood.

Anyway, here’s to watching for more reports on the courtship of Roy Oswalt. Perhaps the Cardinals will take him to a malt shop. Maybe the Yankees will ask him to the Sadie Hawkins dance.

  1. proudlycanadian - Jan 13, 2012 at 8:26 AM

    It is time for some team to take a “hard look” at him.

  2. paperlions - Jan 13, 2012 at 8:41 AM

    The Cardinals asked Julie to ask Roy if he thought they were cute.

    • Jonny 5 - Jan 13, 2012 at 11:04 AM

      The Phills may just pop a rufie into his pop and drag him into the back seat of the old mans Buick. While no one is looking…

      • El Bravo - Jan 13, 2012 at 11:34 AM

        I was gonna use a similar line about the Phillies, but you did so for me. How am my gonna talk trash about your squad when you take the words out of my mouth…errrrr fingers?

      • Utley's Hair - Jan 13, 2012 at 12:06 PM

        Sorry, Jonny. I had to give you a thumbs down for calling it “pop.”

      • Jonny 5 - Jan 13, 2012 at 12:56 PM

        Man Ut, I was trying to sound all 1950ish with the whole “pop” and “buick”, I mean who still drives Buicks anyway?

      • wlschneider09 - Jan 13, 2012 at 7:08 PM

        Clearly you haven’t been to rural Minnesota lately, both pop and buicks are still in the mix.

  3. dl3mk3 - Jan 13, 2012 at 8:48 AM

    you should have went with “enchantment under the sea” dance

    • foreverchipper10 - Jan 13, 2012 at 1:58 PM

      He would have but he was OUTATIME to come up with something clever like that.

  4. kopy - Jan 13, 2012 at 9:02 AM

    I had heard that the Rangers offered Oswalt a contract, but it was just a sheet of paper that had “Yes”, “No”, and “Maybe” written on it with the instructions “Circle One.”

    • phukyouk - Jan 13, 2012 at 12:18 PM

      this is my second favorite one

  5. xmatt0926x - Jan 13, 2012 at 9:29 AM

    All of you are soooo wrong. I hear tell that Oswalt was asked if he liked the rangers or if he liked liked the Rangers. Apparently he likes the Rangers but likes likes the Cardinals….

  6. phukyouk - Jan 13, 2012 at 10:05 AM

    Ahhh.. but the question becomes.. who does he choo-choo-choose? I hope hope he waits till Feb 14th to make his decision.

  7. danieldykstra - Jan 13, 2012 at 10:37 AM

    If Oswalt is the 17 year old girl, wouldn’t he be doing the asking to a sadie hawkins dance?

  8. Utley's Hair - Jan 13, 2012 at 10:38 AM

    Wow, Craig…having the Yankees ask him to a Sadie Hawkins dance? You trying to bait blue pinstripes fans into something here?

    • phukyouk - Jan 13, 2012 at 10:53 AM

      yea.. i saw that… hes calling the yanks a bunch of bitches.. gay ones at that

      • bozosforall - Jan 13, 2012 at 11:30 AM

        Yeah, but the Yankees are still the “hot” “gay” bitches from porn…rather than the twinks that comprise their rivals to the north.

  9. stex52 - Jan 13, 2012 at 12:26 PM

    Getting back on track, here’s the mantra: “You can’t have too much pitching!!”

    Personally, since I like the Cards after the Astros (a fruitless endeavor) I’d like to see Roy settle in StL. I think he’s got a good year left and I think he makes them tough for a repeat.

    And since I know he wants to go to the Big Prom, that is probably his best chance.

    • cintiphil - Jan 13, 2012 at 3:05 PM

      It is very hard to repeat these days. The Cards have lost Albert, Tony and now Duncan. So with all new guys at the helm, it will take a little time to build an cohesive team with the new manager’s direction and stamp. Very difficult to drive this team to victory.

  10. bbk1000 - Jan 13, 2012 at 4:16 PM

    Craig has got to chill..really….

  11. sabathiawouldbegoodattheeighthtoo - Jan 13, 2012 at 4:34 PM

    If Little Roy is looking at a 1 year deal to reestablish value, why on God’s green earth would he choose Arlington as the place to do it?

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