Thanks God black people DO
NOT think this way. In black households FAMILY is all you have & it’s best to be at PEACE with your family bc there are too many other battles for us to fight outside of them.

You are a SAD SAD SAD dude! I feel sorry for you!

Having said that, there have been occasions where I saw things moving to ruptures, particularly in my wife’s family. You have to judge yourself what is right and I am sure that is a burden. But, in spite of my note about Prince above, in the end you have to be true to yourself whatever the cost.

Good luck with it.

I was blessed to grow up with a great family and marry into another great family. We’re far from perfect, either individually or collectively, and often joke that we put the “fun” in dysfunctional. But we kid–and consider ourselves lucky.

For those who have to deal with real dysfunction, abuse or neglect, I wish you the strength to cope with it in whatever way brings you peace. For those whose family issues derive from the benign craziness of human beings, I say life’s to short to hold grudges. But it’s really none of my business, anyway.

I’m feeling particularly wistful right now. Tomorrow would have been my father’s birthday, but we’re coming up on the 20th anniversary of his death. He was a wonderful father, husband, son and brother, and a true mensch. I am forever grateful for the love, support and wisdom he (and my mother) gave me.

Sorry to hear of your family situation. All each generation can do is attempt to learn from the preceding one and try to not repeat the negative experiences of our youth. It is never easy because unfortunately (or fortunately depending on the case) we learn our parenting skills from our parents.

This reminds me of the show LOST. Where John Locke’s Dad is a con-man, and John wants a relationship with him. Well, he gets it, but his Dad is just doing it to get a kidney from him. Now, I am not saying that this will be the case…I just would not be able to get these types of thoughts out of my head.

I wish you the best, and hope that you can come to a decision on it that makes you happy

Many of my husband’s outer circle of family and friends don’t understand and he’s lost them as a result of his decision. But that is their issue – they weren’t subjected to the behavior, they don’t understand, but still they judge. That being said…if someone does understand, it means they’ve traveled this road, or traveled a close road, and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

Believe me, this haunts Prince. We feel we’re doing the right thing for ourselves by keeping a heavy distance, but it comes with a weight. I know it does for me. I think about starting a relationship again, but then I think about what he’s done, and I almost wonder what the hell I’m thinking. But I miss him. It’s hard.

Anywho, this post wasn’t supposed to be my therapy. I am saying that Prince isn’t alone in his complicated issues with his dad, and I hope he finds solace. Because whatever decisions him and I make will affect us and our dads forever.

My brother went into a coma the day after we were supposed to go see the newest Transformers movie this past summer. I was tired and cancelled seeing the movie and I still have his text saying that we would go see it next week. He never came out of his coma and died after 4 agonizing days in the hospital. Now I can’t even watch that movie.

I had good relationships with my father and brother. So I am probably not the best person to comment. But when it comes to fathers/mothers/brothers/sisters…well, you can probably guess that I think you should do everything you can to be the bigger person and keep the relationship alive.

But this is really general, and in the end it is not my business.

I’m a psychologist by trade so I see this with many clients I work with. “Do I cut this person out of my life?” and while only they can make that decision, I believe it is sometimes the best possible option for the mental health of whomever I’m working with.

That said, psychoanalysts would have an absolute field day with the idea that Prince chose to go to Detroit even with all his daddy baggage. Seriously. Someone somewhere just started writing a dissertation about it.

I understand with Craig that it isn’t a necessary thing to try to repair a relationship just based on blood. For years I’ve tried to have a relationship with this man, and sometimes we actually would start to get close, but sometimes you just can’t get through to people. With our relationship there never was a ‘you wronged me’ or ‘I wronged you’ in an unforgivable way type of moment, we’ve just always been on completely different planets. I’m finally to the point where I’m just not going to try with him anymore, but I do know that if he ever does come around I’ll welcome it.