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Lots of new stats you can use

Jan 26, 2012, 5:30 PM EDT

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I know a lot of you guys aren’t statheads — and some of you are downright hostile to sabermetrics — but there are a bunch of new stats created every day, and I can’t help but think that this collection of them will contains something for everyone. Such as:

OPSPA: On-base plus slugging plus batting average: Considered a more comprehensive measurement of batting efficiency because it adds more things to other things.

Bonus points for the Pat Underwood reference in the last one.

And note: I will be watching the comments carefully on this one. If by the 10th comment you don’t know who the sucker is, you’re the sucker.

  1. proudlycanadian - Jan 26, 2012 at 5:45 PM

    You missed Ultimate OPSPA which is OPSPA times WAR.

  2. The Rabbit - Jan 26, 2012 at 5:51 PM

    Too freakin’ funny. Can’t wait for a rotoleague to use them.

  3. kopy - Jan 26, 2012 at 6:01 PM

    Personally, I’ve always been a little miffed that Balks are never factored into xFIP. It’s the most exciting play in baseball!

  4. cur68 - Jan 26, 2012 at 6:04 PM

    Will tootblan be considered for its own sabermetric? I’d really like that.

    • ptfu - Jan 26, 2012 at 7:24 PM

      Mmm, ruben-rivera-riffic. Tootblan is awesome.

  5. mattraw - Jan 26, 2012 at 6:06 PM

    They’re really on a roll of late. That “NBA Nights” article slayed me.

  6. crisisjunky - Jan 26, 2012 at 6:43 PM

    My favorite: MOP(0)TSH
    (Move On People, nothing to see here.)

  7. bigharold - Jan 26, 2012 at 7:26 PM

    More stats, .. great!

    I can’t help but thinking of Mark Twain;

    There are liars, .. damn liars and statistics.

    How many more versions of WAR do we get? Cause, really watching the games isn’t nearly as important as crunching the numbers.

    • paperlions - Jan 26, 2012 at 8:21 PM

      Sucker

      • bigharold - Jan 26, 2012 at 8:34 PM

        Dumb Ass!

      • paperlions - Jan 26, 2012 at 8:42 PM

        Careful, don’t fall off the edge of the world.

      • bigharold - Jan 26, 2012 at 8:57 PM

        Why I might land on You?

    • dondada10 - Jan 26, 2012 at 9:13 PM

      I just gotta jump in here and say that you are doing one of the worst jobs of defending yourself, harold, that has ever been witnessed.

    • cur68 - Jan 26, 2012 at 11:27 PM

      Ahh, leave Harry alone. Harry, click through and read the link. There’s a reason we’re not fighting with the anti-stats crowd. After you read the linked article, perhaps you’d like to join me in the growing tootblan-legitimacy movement? I just wanna hear McCarver have to explain it: I’ll drink to every word has has out of place and has to start over. Surely I’ll be bombed by the end of “toot”.

    • cktai - Jan 27, 2012 at 3:14 AM

      OK, I’ll bite.

      “Cause, really watching the games isn’t nearly as important as crunching the numbers.”

      UZR is calculated by looking at plays, seeing where the ball lands, and where the fielder was for all balls that come near a fielder. Fielding percentage is just crunching numbers that the scorer used on balls that are fielded.

      xFIP is calculated by looking at batted balls, seeing what trajectory they follow and where they (potentially would) land. Wins is determined by looking at the score sheet and determining when a pitcher is pulled out.

      And unlike your average beat writer or sports commentator, these statheads actually watch a lot of games played by different teams, not just the same team over and over again.

      But whatever, you won’t listen, so I’m not sure why I post this.

      • Jonny 5 - Jan 27, 2012 at 8:06 AM

        I’m kind of disappointed that they’ve decided to stick UZR in the middle of a bunch of fictional stats, as if it’s fictional as well. Dolphin clicks! Pffft! UZR is real man, and it’s better than Total Zone ratings!!

    • Utley's Hair - Jan 27, 2012 at 11:08 AM

      Fine…I’ll do it. That quote makes absolutely no damn sense. The real quote is “…lies, damn lies and…statistics…” Not liars.

    • WhenMattStairsIsKing - Jan 27, 2012 at 3:21 PM

      WAR? What is it good for?

  8. clarenceoveur - Jan 26, 2012 at 7:43 PM

    That Prince Fielder signing looks reasonable now that we can measure his TINSTAAFL

  9. imaginesuperbowlwin - Jan 26, 2012 at 7:52 PM

    BOHICA!

  10. nghtrder169 - Jan 26, 2012 at 7:58 PM

    A forgotten great stat that described most of the top players over the last 15 – 20 years….MVPBJ – MOST VALUABLE PLAYER BY JUICING

  11. dwrek5 - Jan 26, 2012 at 8:01 PM

    Love PER. My new trash talk on the court… “if you played in the league John Hollinger would hate you!”

  12. brewcitybummer - Jan 26, 2012 at 11:13 PM

    Oh The Onion. My homestates greatest contribution to society.

  13. muckthefets23 - Jan 27, 2012 at 12:05 AM

    PTTYLPS is by far my favorite, even though NASCAR sucks Richard Petty has a badass mustache. It’s also the most ridiculous.

  14. sawxalicious - Jan 27, 2012 at 2:23 AM

    Sports is currently enjoying an era of unprecedented statistical analysis, with Moneyball having opened the floodgates for stats-oriented people to find new benchmarks in every sport. Here are some of the more notable number-crunchings:

    OPSPA: On-base plus slugging plus batting average: Considered a more comprehensive measurement of batting efficiency because it adds more things to other things
    UZR: Accounts for a player’s defense by counting the happy clicks a dolphin makes while watching the play in its tank
    PER: John Hollinger decides how much he likes a player and then makes up a number for him
    RUNX2: A stat equal to the number of runs scored by a baseball player multiplied by two
    PTTYLPS: Compares contemporary stock car drivers’ performances to the number of laps Richard Petty would have completed under similar conditions in his 1970 Plymouth Superbird with the big-block motor and the badass wing back before NASCAR got pussified
    BFEST: Estimates the likelihood a player would be your best friend assuming you and he were both totally normal guys going about their business who crossed paths and were just looking to connect with someone else
    OPBICYT: A player’s on-base percentage if the Red Sox had traded Carl Yastrzemski to the Tigers for Lance Parrish, Pat Underwood, and a third-round draft pick sometime before the 1978 season started

    Credit: The Onion News Source

  15. buffalomafia - Jan 27, 2012 at 3:08 AM

    Plain & Simple- WTF!

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