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If it’s February, it must be time for Jon Heyman to stump for Johnny Damon

Feb 16, 2012, 3:19 PM EDT

Damon_Johnny

My favorite all-time “Jon Heyman trying to get Johnny Damon a job” column came two years ago when Heyman noted Damon’s “matinee-idol looks and obvious love of the big stage,” and parroted previous Scott Boras comments about Damon’s love of Detroit while wondering why oh why Damon had not yet been signed by someone.

He’s got a new one out now, and it has the air of a conspiracy theory:

Johnny Damon doesn’t get it, doesn’t get why he’s not getting offers after the year he had. Damon didn’t get why he didn’t receive an offer from the incumbent Rays after he was a leader for them in the clubhouse and on the field, and now he doesn’t get why he seemingly is running second as a candidate to be the Yankees’ left-handed DH … It is hard to blame Damon for feeling left out. The whole thing does seem very odd, indeed.

Heyman goes on to note the Yankees’ seeming preference for Raul Ibanez, saying that each of the reasons why the Yankees apparently prefer Ibanez is “sillier than the next.” Judge for yourself, but they don’t sound that silly to me. Ibanez can play defense a little. Damon really can’t. I’d probably still prefer Damnon myself, but it’s not “silly” for someone to disagree on that.

But you know what is silly? That there isn’t one word in the column about what Damon’s contract demands are. Because if you want to compare Damon and Ibanez, or if you want to assess whether Damon not having any contract offers is odd or not, one might want to know whether Damon is offering his services at a reasonable rate.

I think the stuff people say about Heyman being a Scott Boras mouthpiece is over-played. Of course Boras is a source for Heyman, and if you were a reporter and had an awesome source like that you’d report what he gives you too.

But this column seems more like a sales pitch for Johnny Damon’s services than a piece of reportage.

  1. drmonkeyarmy - Feb 16, 2012 at 3:22 PM

    It shouldn’t shock any baseball fan that Heyman is schilling for Boras again.

    • djpostl - Feb 16, 2012 at 3:28 PM

      Shhhh. Keep that up and you will wind up on Heyman’s “blocked” list.

      • drmonkeyarmy - Feb 16, 2012 at 3:29 PM

        He blocked me a couple months ago for it.

      • kopy - Feb 16, 2012 at 3:44 PM

        I’ve never been blocked by anyone on Twitter before. However, I’ve been told by a few people that if you’ve never been blocked, you’re not doing it right.

      • djpostl - Feb 19, 2012 at 1:15 AM

        Yeah, seems like a lot of baseball pundits (and it seems people like you and me) have “felt the wrath” of Heyman’s itchy trigger finger. He blocked me a couple weeks ago.

        Ok, ok. So I literally BEGGED him to block me. But he was kind enough to oblige.

  2. drunkenhooliganism - Feb 16, 2012 at 3:28 PM

    “I think the stuff people say about Heyman being a Scott Boras mouthpiece is over-played. Of course Boras is a source for Heyman, and if you were a reporter and had an awesome source like that you’d report what he gives you too.”

    It still doesn’t make it right. Heyman’s probably got a fat ugly family to feed, and I can understand why he shills for Boras. But it also makes him a dishonest fraud and he should be called out for it every time he does it.

  3. Baseball Beer Burritos In That Order - Feb 16, 2012 at 3:31 PM

    Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we lived in a world where professional sports writers spent the offseason educating their readers on the game or the processes going on behind the scenes instead of doing gymnastics to try and fill as much column space with as much cheap garbage as possible? I know the average reader for Sports Illustrated or ESPN or USA Today doesn’t care about the nuances of sabermetrics, but it’s tiring to have pro writers treating complex games like nothing more than a reality competition for world-class athletes. Will the aging DH sign somewhere his talents can be appreciated (by the columnist who relies on him as a clubhouse source)? Is R.A. Dickey in trouble with the Mets (totally ignoring the charity he’s doing work for and the impact he’s making in the world)?

    If I wasn’t for HBT and precious few other places I can read about actual baseball instead of grown men treating grown men like they’re The Real Baseball Players of The Major League, I think I might go insane.

    • Baseball Beer Burritos In That Order - Feb 16, 2012 at 3:42 PM

      Sorry for the rant, I must be grumpy today.

      • Old Gator - Feb 16, 2012 at 4:03 PM

        Don’t apologize. A rant is a sublime thing. Benjamin Franklin advised his readers to “fart proudly.” How much more proudly would he have emblandished you to rant?

  4. Kyle - Feb 16, 2012 at 3:40 PM

    Hate to disagree but Raul Ibanez can not, in fact, play a little defense. If anything, I’d prefer Damon to Ibanez in the field.

    • stlouis1baseball - Feb 16, 2012 at 4:20 PM

      Yeah…I couldn’t help but notice that myself Kyle. Raul Ibanez is a liability in the OF.
      Not that Johnny Damon is Ken Griffey Jr…but Raul Ibanez?
      I will put it this way…Raul is so bad defensively even Johnny Damon is better.

    • stlouis1baseball - Feb 16, 2012 at 5:14 PM

      No doubt about it Kyle. As bad as Damon is…the fact that he is better defensively than Ibanez speaks volumes about Raul’s defense (or lack thereof).

    • baseballisboring - Feb 16, 2012 at 6:17 PM

      Damon’s pretty rough, but yeah…Ibanez with a glove on…*shudders*. His advanced defensive stats are hard to look at.

  5. Brandon Warne - Feb 16, 2012 at 3:56 PM

    “Damnon” feels so Freudian.

  6. thetruth113 - Feb 16, 2012 at 3:57 PM

    “Ibanez can play a little defense”

    Are you out of your mind? He can play defense about as good taking your random pick of people in the stands. Ibanez had the second worst UZR in all of baseball last year and was dead last among OFs. Downright scary that you put Ibanez and defense in the same sentence dear lord

    • b7p19 - Feb 16, 2012 at 4:18 PM

      Do you consider Craig your lord? A devoted minion you most certainly are.

    • djpostl - Feb 19, 2012 at 1:19 AM

      Johnny Damon’s wet noodle of an arm says “hi!”.

      Nobody is saying Ibanez is Junior reincarnated BUT Damon has the same limited range and one tenth the arm. Matsui runs more than 5 feet and he is done for a few minutes.

      The issue is out of Ibanez – Matsui – Damon, who is best suited to give you a random day in left or right field?

      As bad as he is, and he IS bad, that would be Ibanez.

  7. sabathiawouldbegoodattheeighthtoo - Feb 16, 2012 at 4:10 PM

    I would say Damon is probably the better all-around player when compared to Ibanez, but the Yankees do not need a better all around player. They need a DH who can mash RHP. Ibanez would be better for that. I still think Branyan is better than either, but I am happy with as many minor league contracts as Cashman wants to hand out. If Johnny is interested in one of those, come on down Big Fella.

  8. jwbiii - Feb 16, 2012 at 4:22 PM

    What’s your favorite Ibanez defensive play? This one is good.
    http://assets.sbnation.com/imported_assets/27348/28akex2_jpg.gif

    • WhenMattStairsIsKing - Feb 16, 2012 at 4:40 PM

      That’s about how I throw. Where do I sign up?

    • stlouis1baseball - Feb 16, 2012 at 5:16 PM

      Hahaha! And Raul made that throw in his “younger” days.

  9. okwhitefalcon - Feb 16, 2012 at 4:43 PM

    I saw Heyman’s tweet earlier on Damon, actually laughed out loud. (LOL”d!).

    I’m sure if Damon gets a job Heyman’s pants will be at his ankles, wadded up tissue on the night stand and a cigarette lit…

    • sabathiawouldbegoodattheeighthtoo - Feb 16, 2012 at 9:05 PM

      I don’t think Damon needs Heyman to get THAT kind of job

      • okwhitefalcon - Feb 16, 2012 at 9:32 PM

        I was referring to Heyman in a “self induced” manner, a lone gunman – not mastering his domain.

        A jack of(f) all trades if you will.

  10. snowbirdgothic - Feb 16, 2012 at 11:12 PM

    I understand Boras has made a book touting Damon’s skills for prospective employers. Unfortunately, it’s 22 pages, 4 color, and mostly features Batman defeating third-rate supervillains by offering them Hostess(TM) Fruit Pies if they sign Damon to DH for them.

  11. bbk1000 - Feb 17, 2012 at 6:21 AM

    Craig, again with the word “awesome”? I’m beginning to think you are a 14 year old girl trapped in a 30 something year old mans body….you need to find a new word….

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