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There will be no Chipper Jones is in The Worst Shape of His Life posts

Feb 22, 2012, 2:55 PM EDT

I wasn’t gonna say anything about this, but you people won’t leave me alone, so here it is: no, I am not going to do a “Chipper Jones is in the Worst Shape of His Life” post. And it has nothing to do with me being a Braves homer. I just don’t see the evidence for it.

The thing motivating it today is Deadspin’s posting of a picture taken at Braves camp the other day in which, let’s be honest, Chipper Jones looks like total hell:


Not good!  But the thing is, it seems like this is more about that picture being unfortunate than it is about Chipper Jones being in any worse shape than he’s been in the past couple of years.  Because here’s a pic taken of Jones, in uniform, on Monday:



Seems like pretty normal late-model Chipper Jones to me.

Obviously the BSOHL and the more infrequent WSOHL stuff is just for fun, but I feel like we have to at least attempt to be fair.  If a manager says a player has put on some pounds or something, cool.  But if a guy just looks like a 39 year-old in a muscle shirt — which is ugly 100% of the time — that doesn’t seem good enough for me, especially if he looks normal in uniform.

  1. cur68 - Feb 22, 2012 at 3:03 PM

    Jeez. That’s a brutal shot of Larry. Looks like the last hillbilly at the barbecue walking home after the girlfriend left in a huff in the pickup and took his dog with her. Anyhow, its a windy day shot from the looks of things. If it isn’t wind, then he has the right-sided love-handle from hell.

    • Jonny 5 - Feb 22, 2012 at 3:44 PM

      I imagine his pasty a$$ has a bottle of SPF 80 stuffed into his pants so he can make sure he doesn’t turn 3 shades of pink during his first week of spring training.

      • cur68 - Feb 22, 2012 at 3:57 PM

        Spf 80 = acrylic housepaint. Given that lighter colors make you appear bigger (a fact rather loudly pointed out to a lady in tight white pants, by a grandmotherly looking sort escorting a small child at a parade I was at last year: the lady in the white pants had just cut in front of them for a good view) I’d say there’s Larry’s problem, right there.

      • stlouis1baseball - Feb 22, 2012 at 4:49 PM

        Classic Cur! So tell me…what did “tight white pants lady” say in response?

      • cur68 - Feb 22, 2012 at 5:14 PM

        Dunno. The crowd around us started laughing & adding their 2 cents worth. I couldn’t see due to the tears in my eyes, and by the time I got a grip on myself, white pants had beat it. Jobu bless everybody’s gramma: no one has more stones than a slighted grandmother.

    • aceshigh11 - Feb 22, 2012 at 10:41 PM

      You made me bust out laughing on that one. Well-done.

  2. brokea$$lovesmesomeme - Feb 22, 2012 at 3:06 PM

    That ain’t Larry that’s our clean-up hitter on my Tuesday night D-Rec beer league team. Without his help we would not be 3 time champs.

  3. bmoreballers - Feb 22, 2012 at 3:10 PM

    Sounds like someone’s catching feelings

  4. crazyyankee - Feb 22, 2012 at 3:12 PM

    he’s wearing a compression shirt/spanx for men under the uniform shirt.

  5. randygnyc - Feb 22, 2012 at 3:15 PM

    I saw that pic zoomed, and his arms are unbelievably flabby. No way is that bottom pic from this year.

    • Craig Calcaterra - Feb 22, 2012 at 3:19 PM

      The pic is from Monday. It was taken by Dave O’Brien of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

      • stlouis1baseball - Feb 22, 2012 at 3:23 PM

        Craig: You would have gained a whole legion of fans had you done the correct thing and added Larry to the WSOHL list.

      • CJ - Feb 22, 2012 at 3:24 PM

        From Monday of which year, exactly?

    • Craig Calcaterra - Feb 22, 2012 at 3:26 PM

      Proof that the pic came from Monday, via the Associated Press (was wrong that O’Brien took it; he just tweeted it):

      • CJ - Feb 22, 2012 at 3:38 PM

        …because it’s unpossible to put a different date in a textbox on the interwebs. Got it.

        Points for trying to defend your boy though. Just having a tough time reconciling those two shots. I can’t buy that they were taken like 2 days apart.

      • Francisco (FC) - Feb 22, 2012 at 3:59 PM

        Craig, Craig, Craig, come on man, you have been BAITED… Don’t make me write a lair post mocking this!

      • schlom - Feb 22, 2012 at 5:15 PM

        One of those photos is dated wrong. If you look at the deadspin post ( they have a picture of Larry stretching (and looking thin) that they say was taken last year. He’s wearing the same uniform as he is in the 2nd picture. Plus his facial hair is different in the “fat” picture and the “thin” pictures – he has a thin beard in one and just a goatee in the other.

  6. stlouis1baseball - Feb 22, 2012 at 3:21 PM

    In the 1st picture Larry looks exactly like the 3rd Baseman on our upper level competitive Softball team.
    I am serious. Dead on. But…we have won the league 5 years running and our 3rd Baseman hits .625 and leads the team in Homeruns. But Larry still looks like him.

    • CJ - Feb 22, 2012 at 3:27 PM

      you know your softball team’s 3rd baseman’s batting average?

      obsess much?

      • stlouis1baseball - Feb 22, 2012 at 4:55 PM

        CJ: Dead on. We have a handful of guys that want to join our team every year. We have detailed box scores for every player after every game.
        To reiterate…this is an upper level “competitive” team?
        Meaning…full sponorships, travel ball, etc…
        What I am getting at is…HELL YES we keep statistics. It is our primary means of keeping our guys’ nose to the grindstone as we have several much younger guys chomping at the bit to take their spots every year. At this point…12 of our 15 guys are at the 40 year old mark. It is getting tougher and tougher every year to continue winning cause’ the other teams are getting younger (while we are getting older). Hahaha!

  7. dondada10 - Feb 22, 2012 at 3:24 PM

    So the camera adds ten pounds, and the spring training jersey negates 30. Got it.

  8. Max Power - Feb 22, 2012 at 4:09 PM

    Do we know for sure the first picture is Chipper? That photo could have been taken on any street corner in central Florida.

  9. The Baseball Gods - Feb 22, 2012 at 4:30 PM

    I’m surprised you are not down at spring training Craig. For the type of work you do I would think you would get that added benefit. Then you could report back to us as an eye witness, so we could really know whether Larry is fat or not.

  10. cambodianbreastmilk - Feb 22, 2012 at 4:43 PM

    What exactly do you mean “YOU PEOPLE”!?

  11. kandh2004 - Feb 22, 2012 at 4:55 PM

    Man Craig you talk about us Phillies fans being bated but dude serious wipe your chin

  12. randygnyc - Feb 22, 2012 at 5:33 PM

    2 things. First off, I find it incredibly biased that Craig went out of his way to NOT post the picture in question in the lead. But more importantly, someone please explain to me how, if the “fat” picture is taken 2 after the “skinny” picture, how could he grow all that facial hair that clearly runs all along his jawbones, but is missing from Mondays picture.

    SOMEONE SOLD YOU A LOAD OF BULLSHIT, CRAIG. No way that pic is from this year.

    • petergammonsdrunknephew - Feb 22, 2012 at 5:44 PM

      The uniform photo was taken Monday.
      The “fat” photo was apparently taken Sunday, which would explain the facial hair discrepancy. He shaved.

  13. Jonny 5 - Feb 22, 2012 at 7:12 PM

    Craig, your readers have been watching too much CSI©.

  14. foreverchipper10 - Feb 23, 2012 at 11:34 AM

    Leave Chipper alone!

  15. tommyrob4780 - Feb 24, 2012 at 12:04 PM

    leave chipper alone he is a great player so what if he’s not healthy who is LEAVE THE GUY ALONE

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