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You’re not gonna believe this, but Elijah Dukes was arrested again

Feb 23, 2012, 10:30 AM EDT

Washington Nationals Photo Day Getty Images

We all have to change our “days since Elijah Dukes was arrested” signs back to zero:

Former Rays outfielder Elijah Dukes was arrested early Thursday after he tried to eat a plastic bag of marijuana and had marijuana blunt tucked behind his ear, police said … He faces charges of tampering with physical evidence, possession of less than 20 grams of marijuana, possession of drug paraphernalia and driving with a cancelled, suspended or revoked license. He was also being held on two Hillsborough County warrants for driving with a suspended knowledge and operating with a suspended or revoked driver’s license.

Such a shame. He almost made it a year since his last arrest.

In other news, Dukes is 27 and, in an alternate universe, he’s anchoring the middle of the order for the two-time defending champion Rays.

  1. diehardcubbiefan4life - Feb 23, 2012 at 10:33 AM

    This guy isnt in baseball anymore is he? What on earth does he do for a living? SMH

    • WhenMattStairsIsKing - Feb 23, 2012 at 10:43 AM

      I don’t wanna know.

    • uyf1950 - Feb 23, 2012 at 10:49 AM

      According to baseball reference he’s not in the ML’s and hasn’t been since 2009. But he did play ball in the Independent League in Newark in 2010. That’s the last info I see on him.

      • RedHeadedBastard - Feb 23, 2012 at 11:26 AM

        For $20 he’ll give you a Z Jay

      • bigleagues - Feb 23, 2012 at 12:49 PM

        $20 for a Z?!

        Ehhhh something tells me Dukes ain’t buyin and sellin at 1969 prices.

        Not that I would know anything about that, of course.

  2. uyf1950 - Feb 23, 2012 at 10:34 AM

    “he tried to eat a plastic bag of marijuana…” he tried to eat the bag and all?

    • phukyouk - Feb 23, 2012 at 10:41 AM

      i thought the same thing but i am still laughing at seeing it in print.

      • WhenMattStairsIsKing - Feb 23, 2012 at 10:44 AM


    • nolanwiffle - Feb 23, 2012 at 12:27 PM

      Think of it as a kind of low-grade sausage casing.

  3. koufaxmitzvah - Feb 23, 2012 at 10:36 AM

    Just wait till you get home, Elijah. Buy a Volcano, sit on the couch, and quit giving cops a reason to arrest you.


  4. Jonny 5 - Feb 23, 2012 at 10:46 AM

    If this guy would just stop driving with a revoked/suspended licence he’d be in much better shape to drive around getting blunted.

  5. missthemexpos - Feb 23, 2012 at 10:48 AM

    Well the acronym BSOHL has done quite nicely on these pages, so now it is time for a new acronym : EDAA. No need to spell it out.

  6. pisano - Feb 23, 2012 at 10:52 AM

    I’m shocked, isn’t he from the same frat house as Milton Bradley and Carl Everett? My mistake I meant big house.

  7. dexterismyhero - Feb 23, 2012 at 11:17 AM

    driving with a suspended knowledge ?

    I would say driving without any knowledge…

  8. marshmallowsnake - Feb 23, 2012 at 11:32 AM

    How long after a person leaves the MLB ranks is it until reporters stop writing about him?

  9. bigharold - Feb 23, 2012 at 11:36 AM

    I bet if he plead insanity he’d walk, . cause this guy is just nuts.

    • pisano - Feb 23, 2012 at 11:56 AM

      big…no argument there!

    • bigleagues - Feb 23, 2012 at 12:57 PM

      Let’s be clear, he isn’t nuts because he’s sparkin a jay-bomb . . . because LOTS of pro athletes do just fine with that.

      E-du’s nuts because he’s self destructive to the point that he should have been in the heart of the order for a playoff team in 2010 at age 25 & not playing for the Bears.

      Me thinks about 4 years from now we’ll hear how he realized how dumb he was and how he’s just trying to hook on with whatever team he can in whatever role he can.

  10. redbirdfan81 - Feb 23, 2012 at 12:36 PM

    Does anybody really care? Quit writing articles about him. You’re only wasting space and time!

    • Utley's Hair - Feb 23, 2012 at 1:14 PM

      Again, there’s the whole “nobody forced you” thing with the clicking and the reading and commenting, etc.

  11. drewsylvania - Feb 23, 2012 at 12:50 PM

    Forget plastic, I want to know what kind of cake he eats.

    • Utley's Hair - Feb 23, 2012 at 1:16 PM

      He’s most definitely a piebaby.

  12. Utley's Hair - Feb 23, 2012 at 1:29 PM

    It’s guys like this that make me take another look at the three strikes thing as not such a bad idea in some instances.

  13. Brian Murphy - Feb 23, 2012 at 1:58 PM

    There is a misspelling in the first graph. He wasn’t arrested early Thursday. He was arrested EVERY Thursday.

  14. Old Gator - Feb 23, 2012 at 2:29 PM

    If trying to eat the bag of weed is “tampering with evidence,” what would they have called it if he had tried to hide it up his touchas?

  15. lostsok - Feb 23, 2012 at 10:09 PM

    Legalize it!

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