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Francisco Cordero is NOT in The Best Shape Of His Life

Mar 5, 2012, 5:17 PM EST

Maybe it’s just a bad angle or some weird lighting or whatever, but after looking at this picture of Francisco Cordero it’s safe to say we finally found a player who didn’t report to spring training in The Best Shape Of His Life.

source: Reuters

Those giant eyes staring at him in the background seem awfully judgmental.

(Thanks to Andy Gray at SI.com for pointing out the glorious photo.)

  1. unlost1 - Mar 5, 2012 at 5:31 PM

    thank you for this headline

  2. El Bravo - Mar 5, 2012 at 5:35 PM

    ‘Whoa’

    – Keanu Reeves

  3. randygnyc - Mar 5, 2012 at 5:41 PM

    Looks like he spent the offseason in the Fenway clubhouse.

  4. whodeytn - Mar 5, 2012 at 5:46 PM

    Thank god the Reds didn’t bring FatFace back

  5. cur68 - Mar 5, 2012 at 5:51 PM

    Law of averages says (I hope) that he can’t be the only fat guy who can pitch. So if Cap’n Crunch can strain the buttons on his XXXL jersey and still be a workhorse pitcher, so can Cordero, right? Just ’cause he looks like he’s in his fourth tri-mester doesn’t have to mean the chap can’t bring it.

    • sfs1 - Mar 5, 2012 at 6:53 PM

      You’re absolutely right. It’s not his appearance that means he can’t bring it, it is his plummeting strikeout rate.

      • cur68 - Mar 5, 2012 at 6:55 PM

        Sure. Burst my bubble of hope. Gonna come over and steal my candy apple, too?

  6. dowhatifeellike - Mar 5, 2012 at 5:58 PM

    Lookin’ a bit David Wellsian there.

  7. addictedzone - Mar 5, 2012 at 6:08 PM

    surrogate pregnancy?

  8. missthemexpos - Mar 5, 2012 at 6:11 PM

    Often you hear stories of pitchers that are difficult to hit because they have the ability to “HIDE” the baseball from the hitter. Could this be part of Cordero’s master plan of making it difficult for the hitter to see the baseball as he hides the ball behind the mound (his own mound) till the last second?

    • proudlycanadian - Mar 5, 2012 at 6:21 PM

      You got it!

    • addictedzone - Mar 5, 2012 at 6:29 PM

      A potential problem though… Might he also shield the ball coming off the bat from all three of his outfielders?

    • cur68 - Mar 5, 2012 at 7:03 PM

      Nice theory. I’m running with that. Its for “hiding”. Frankly, though, he looks like he hide a Plymouth, never mid a baseball.

  9. chiadam - Mar 5, 2012 at 6:14 PM

    Yikes! Get that man a treadmill.

  10. mdpickles - Mar 5, 2012 at 6:22 PM

    “I hope he puts up better numbers than players claiming to be in the BSOHL.”
    —- John Kruk

  11. supersnappy - Mar 5, 2012 at 6:38 PM

    Maybe that’s why the took the 1 year deal as a setup man…

  12. stevincinci - Mar 5, 2012 at 7:11 PM

    He was never that big as a Red. He had a good year last year though, 32 saves out of 36 attempts. We’ll take Ryan Madson though, The Reds are stocked at pitching this year. Also extended Sean Marshall 3 years.. Best left hand reliever out there. Probably Reds closer next year.

  13. lameasish - Mar 5, 2012 at 8:25 PM

    Take madson and his contract, the jays will take fat boy and we can compare numbers at a later date. Also, try competing in the AL east, then we can talk…

    • dalton2green - Mar 5, 2012 at 9:38 PM

      Lameeasish,

      You’ve GOT to be KIDDING ME!! A Blue Jays fan talking smack:) hahahaha wow!! Yeah the Reds will gladly take Madson and his 8.5 million dollar contract over cordero and his 5million dollar setup contract! Have you seen the Reds roster this year? Id take Votto and the Reds over Bautista any day of the week.. thank you

  14. deathmonkey41 - Mar 5, 2012 at 8:27 PM

    Somewhere in FL, Joba Chamberlain is feeling a whole lot better about himself.

  15. 1943mrmojorisin1971 - Mar 5, 2012 at 8:46 PM


    I’m going to get a job at the Skydome doing this when he gets called out of the bullpen.

  16. Panda Claus - Mar 5, 2012 at 9:52 PM

    Hey, hey, hey. Let’s not be too judgmental here fellas.

    Nah, nah, nah, he’s going to have a good time.

  17. WhenMattStairsIsKing - Mar 6, 2012 at 12:04 PM

    Look at the back of his jersey – clearly wind is involved there. I think this is just a bad picture. Sorry!

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