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Off to Spring Training

Mar 5, 2012, 9:45 AM EDT

Sunrise Cactus

I’m hopping on an airplane here shortly and heading for Arizona. That’s right, kids, a week in the Valley of the Sun, taking in Cactus League action.  I assure you, though, I won’t be enjoying myself at all. It’ll be all work. Really. Truly!

OK, maybe I’ll enjoy it a little. But I will be working.  As I have done for the past couple of years, I’ll be filing several reports a day from spring training complexes, telling you the stuff I see as I wander around.  Also, because I am now occasionally associated with an actual television network and I am thus, in the eyes of media relations professionals, respectable, I will be doing a handful of interviews with actual baseball players for NBC SpotsTalk.  I’ll try not to be all Chris Farley about it, but I’m not confident (“Remember that time you got that hit in the playoffs? That was awesome”).

Anyway, here’s the schedule for the week:

  • Tuesday: White Sox vs Angels in Tempe: Pujols-a-palooza!
  • Wednesday: Rangers vs Padres in Peoria: Yu Darvish‘s first scheduled start!
  • Thursday: Angels vs Indians in Goodyear: I shall stalk my daughter’s favorite player, Shelley Duncan!
  • Friday: Indians vs Brewers in Maryvale: I finally get to give Ryan Braun that hug you readers think I want to give him!
  • Saturday: Reds vs A’s in Phoenix: Manny bein’ Manny!; and
  • Sunday: Cubs vs Dodgers in Glendale: I’ll write an alternate history in which each of these teams are elite and big-spending and I may give Frank McCourt I big, wet sloppy good-bye kiss.

In addition to posting I should be tweeting like crazy too, so give a follow: @craigcalcaterra.

Talk to you from Arizona, ladies and germs. And remember: wear sunscreen.

  1. Pierre Cruzatte - Mar 5, 2012 at 9:58 AM

    Hopefully this will turn into a redux of the winter meetings, and you’ll spend all your time snogging instead of blogging.

    • ptfu - Mar 5, 2012 at 11:20 AM

      Snogging–I do not think it means what you think it means. Unless Craig was getting REALLY friendly with baseball groupies…

      • Pierre Cruzatte - Mar 5, 2012 at 11:32 AM

        To wit: he was.

    • allisonhagen - Mar 5, 2012 at 12:47 PM

      I hope not, since I’m not going. Unless it’s with someone on the list of allowable indiscretions.

      • Pierre Cruzatte - Mar 5, 2012 at 2:42 PM

        If I could thumbs-up this cameo 100 times, I would.

      • cur68 - Mar 5, 2012 at 2:50 PM

        Hey, whatever happens at Cactus League STAYS in Cactus League…unless he falls into a fountain again (like that guy, who may or may not have been Craig, at the winter meetings): that should be front page news on HBT, not buried on Off the Bench.

      • Old Gator - Mar 5, 2012 at 5:18 PM

        Speaking of indiscretions, Craig, be sure to say hi to that slatternly leather-faced hag of a governor down there. Boy, talk about your two-bagger….

  2. cur68 - Mar 5, 2012 at 9:58 AM

    …and off he goes to trample the Earth…too and fro, the little devil. Well, stay out of fights this year, kay? Us wimpy nerds aren’t built for fighting. Say hi to those superfan ladies you met last year. I’d like a follow up picture, because last season’s was awesome.

    • Old Gator - Mar 5, 2012 at 10:02 AM

      I read somewhere in an environmental journal that the horned toads are disappearing. Better not walk around barefoot, then.

      • cur68 - Mar 5, 2012 at 10:12 AM

        Gator, I can assure you that the presence of horny animals on this planet has increased, rather than decreased. I now await en vivo ursus doofus’s inevitable and successful attempt at being a douche. Hope you kept that journal handy as a reference. Frankly I advocate pepper spray for bears, never mind smacking them across the snout with rolled up scientific journals.

      • Old Gator - Mar 5, 2012 at 11:45 AM

        Remember what Smokey’s mother advised: when danger threatens, always climb a tree.

        Then again, forest fires prevent bears.

      • - Mar 5, 2012 at 11:50 AM

        I thought honey bees were disapearing, but it seems they have migrated to Arizona too.

  3. unclemosesgreen - Mar 5, 2012 at 10:14 AM

    Farewell Craig and remember – if you hear the swarm – run for the nearest cover. zzzzZZZZZ

  4. tseekins - Mar 5, 2012 at 10:19 AM

    Well, is THAt what I have been doing wrong all this time? I have been foolishly tuning in to NBC Sports Talk, I alwys thought Spots Talk was an animal show. 😉

    See you at the park Craig!

  5. wlschneider09 - Mar 5, 2012 at 11:16 AM

    Bring us back something nice!

  6. WhenMattStairsIsKing - Mar 5, 2012 at 11:32 AM

    I love this time of the year. Enjoy, CC!

  7. APBA Guy - Mar 5, 2012 at 11:32 AM

    Full write up on Cespedes and the San Jose situation after Saturday’s game, please. We want hard hitting investigative journalism plus legal opinions on the possibility of success if the City of San Jose sues the Giants. Anything less and there had better be pictures of the local “wildlife”. Also, Cespedes looks like he’s only 5’10” in some of the pictures I’ve seen. What’s the real story? Is he 37 years old as the Giants fans claim?

    • - Mar 5, 2012 at 11:53 AM

      This seems like a good segway to ask the opinion of the good commenters of HBT. True or False: The WGN Camera Crew has the best eye for local “wildlife” out of any National MLB Broadcast?

  8. crazyyankee - Mar 5, 2012 at 11:37 AM

    don’t catch the valley fever

  9. hopespringseternal - Mar 5, 2012 at 12:07 PM

    If you have time, stop at Don & Charlie’s in Scottsdale. Great food and memorabilia.

  10. azvikefan - Mar 5, 2012 at 12:15 PM

    Don’t forget to do your liberal journalists duty to mention our open gun laws and our misguided efforts to curb illegal immigrants.

    • Old Gator - Mar 5, 2012 at 6:49 PM

      And that repulsive mummified hag of a governor of yours.

      • azvikefan - Mar 6, 2012 at 10:34 AM

        You are right about mummified hag but I love her because she takes no shit from liberal pussies in this state. Her and Sheriff joe are the BEST!

  11. randygnyc - Mar 5, 2012 at 1:03 PM

    2 suggestions:

    1). Shower daily
    2). Don’t slobber

    Safe travels

  12. blabidibla - Mar 5, 2012 at 3:07 PM

    Eat some Soba Noodles for me.

  13. lanflfan - Mar 5, 2012 at 3:35 PM

    Enjoy your tour of the Cactus League.

    I’d love it if you could turn up some dirt on Frank McCourt, something that will get him voted off this planet immediately and irrevocably.

  14. westsideculture - Mar 6, 2012 at 12:55 AM

    Yeah….. enjoy “work”…. and stay in the best shape of your life

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