Skip to content

Scenes from Spring Training: The Most Interesting Man in the World

Mar 7, 2012, 7:51 AM EDT

TT Roadhoue

After I left the ballpark yesterday afternoon I came back to my hotel and placed my health first among all other things. First, I moved into my new non-smoking room, which was good for my lungs. Then I went to the fitness center and ran on a treadmill for 45 minutes which was good for my heart, body and soul.

Then I went to In-n-Out Burger and ate this followed by a trip to a dive bar called TT Roadhouse where I hoisted the moist with a friend of mine. No, I don’t think it’s safe to say that I’m in the best shape of my life after all of that. Hell, I’m not even in the best shape of the bloggers on this site.

The friend of mine was a former sportswriter and former blogger named Connor Doyle who I met back in the Shysterball days.  When I was here last year, as some of you may remember, I had beers with him and DIPS legend Voros McCracken and nearly started a race riot. Last night wasn’t quite as scary, but it definitely turned strange.

We had been there a little over an hour or so when a man with a gigantic head wound came up and sat down at our table and began talking to us. He began in mid-sentence as if he had been with us all night, and took up the political conversation Connor and I were having. Well, OK then. He did pause long enough for Connor to ask him what happened to his head. Seems he was walking with a girl last week when a man ran him over with a car and then drove away. He treated the explanation as though it was bothersome and unimportant and continued on with his political monologue. Well, OK again.

The substance of the monologue: if he had a time machine and could go back and change one historical event, it would be to prevent women getting the right to vote. Really: that’s when he believes all of our country’s problems began.

“The 50s were great,” he said. “Everything was going just fine until women got the vote.”

“You realize that by the 50s women had been voting for over 30 years,” I said.

He just kind of stopped for a second, considered the thought, ignored it and moved on. And to be fair to him, he did expand the point: it wasn’t just women voting that was the problem. It was all racial minorities, homosexuals and “children.”  I thought I’d comfort him by telling him that children still don’t have the right to vote, but I couldn’t really get a word in.

From there we moved on to evolution (“So you believe we came from monkeys? That it went ooze-fish-monkeys-man? Really?”) and then on to religion (“I’m not one of those crazy people, but religion has done more to disprove science than science has to prove evolution”).  He noted at one point that he got a concussion in that hit-and-run last week. I nodded.

Eventually our friend — who would not let me take his picture sadly, because I believe that by that time he realized (a) I was a writer; and (b) I was taking mental notes — mentioned that three women were coming to meet him there and implied that, if we played our cards right, maybe  Connor and I could get lucky.

I figured that was his tallest tale of the evening but I’ll be damned if three women didn’t eventually show up. One had a boyfriend with her. None of them seemed like people who would hang out with our friend, here. Indeed, when he went to use the restroom, one of the women said that she didn’t know the guy’s name and that they just call him “the guy who got hit by the car.”  I am still unclear on why they would all meet him out at a bar.

I was likewise unclear why I was still talking to him, but eventually he disappeared into the night.  I’m still not 100% certain that he existed. It’s possible someone spiked my Double-Double animal style or slipped a mickey into Moose Drool brown ale.  But if he did exist, just know that people like him walk the Earth. Well, sort of stagger the Earth, but still.

Freakin’ Arizona. Drink here at your peril.  Or maybe just don’t go out with Connor Doyle, because for as great a guy as he is, he seems to attract the weird ones.

Back to baseball this morning. I’m heading to the Peoria Sports Complex where I will witness the debut of Yu Darvish.  A man who, until last night, I figured would be the most interesting person I’d meet in Spring Training.

Reports from the ballpark later, my friends.

Latest Posts
  1. Stephen Strasburg strikes out 11 batters in latest rehab start

    Aug 3, 2015, 9:36 PM EDT

    Stephen Strasburg AP

    Nationals right-hander Stephen Strasburg has been sidelined since July 4 with a left oblique strain, but it sounds like he’s rounding into form for the stretch run.

  2. Freddie Freeman exits game with right oblique injury

    Aug 3, 2015, 9:13 PM EDT

    ATLANTA, GA - JUNE 11: Freddie Freeman #5 of the Atlanta Braves knocks in a run with a first inning double against the San Diego Padres at Turner Field on June 11, 2015 in Atlanta, Georgia. (Photo by Scott Cunningham/Getty Images) Getty Images

    The Braves are calling him day-to-day, but these type of injuries are notoriously tricky.

  3. Cubs designate Clayton Richard for assignment

    Aug 3, 2015, 9:01 PM EDT

    CHICAGO, IL - JULY 08: Clayton Richard #33 of the Chicago Cubs pitches against the St. Louis Cardinals during the second inning on July 8, 2015 at Wrigley Field in Chicago, Illinois. (Photo by David Banks/Getty Images) Getty Images

    Clayton Richard tossed six innings of one-run ball in a win over the Padres on Sunday, but he was designated for assignment by the Cubs today for the second time in the past two weeks.

  4. Steven Matz has resumed throwing

    Aug 3, 2015, 8:19 PM EDT

    NEW YORK, NY - JULY 10: Steven Matz #32 of the New York Mets looks on from the dugout during a game against the Arizona Diamondbacks on July 10, 2015 at Citi Field in the Flushing neighborhood of the Queens borough of New York City. Matz was placed on the 15 day disabled list. (Photo by Rich Schultz/Getty Images) Getty Images

    Matz impressed over his first two starts in the majors before going down with a partial tear of his lat muscle, but he’s starting to ramp things up in preparation for his return.

  5. Kris Bryant in lineup after leaving Sunday’s game with dizziness

    Aug 3, 2015, 6:58 PM EDT

    CHICAGO, IL - JULY 25:  on July 25, 2015 at Wrigley Field in Chicago, Illinois. (Photo by David Banks/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Getty Images

    Cubs rookie third baseman Kris Bryant was forced to exit Sunday’s game against the Brewers after feeling dizzy on a hard slide into second base, but he’s back in the starting lineup for tonight’s series opener against the Pirates.

  6. Carter Capps lands on disabled list with elbow strain

    Aug 3, 2015, 6:01 PM EDT

    MIAMI, FL - JULY 12: Carter Capps #22 of the Miami Marlins pitches during the game against the Cincinnati Reds at Marlins Park on July 12, 2015 in Miami, Florida.  (Photo by Rob Foldy/Getty Images) Getty Images

    Capps has quietly been one of the game’s most dominant relievers this season.

  7. Yordano Ventura apologizes to Jose Bautista

    Aug 3, 2015, 4:27 PM EDT

    150803 yordano ventura

    He is now calling Jose Bautista “a good man and a great human being.”

  8. David Price shines in his Blue Jays debut

    Aug 3, 2015, 4:00 PM EDT

    Screen Shot 2015-08-03 at 3.56.25 PM AP

    The newest Blue Jay struck out 11 in eight innings of work.

  9. Joe Panik goes on Giants’ disabled list with back injury

    Aug 3, 2015, 3:45 PM EDT

    joe panik getty Getty Images

    Panik’s breakout season has been put on hold.

  10. A’s claim Danny Valencia off waivers from Blue Jays

    Aug 3, 2015, 3:06 PM EDT

    Danny Valencia Getty Getty Images

    Dating back to 2013 he’s hit .337 with a .900 OPS off lefties.

  11. A.J. Burnett has a strained flexor tendon. Could pitch again this year.

    Aug 3, 2015, 2:43 PM EDT

    A.J. Burnett A.J. Burnett

    It’s not necessarily likely, but since it isn’t a torn UCL there’s at least a chance he could make it back.

  12. White Sox call up Klay Thompson’s brother, outfield prospect Trayce Thompson

    Aug 3, 2015, 1:47 PM EDT

    Trayce Thompson White Sox Getty Images

    He’s spent this season at Triple-A, batting .260 with 13 homers and 11 steals.

  13. The Marlins are screwing over one of their players… again

    Aug 3, 2015, 1:30 PM EDT

    Marcell Ozuna AP

    Time for a little Loria bashing to brighten up your Monday.

  14. David Price makes his Toronto debut this afternoon

    Aug 3, 2015, 12:41 PM EDT

    David Price

    Not a bad draw for him, as he has owned the Twins this season.

  15. Mike Matheny admits that players’ contracts matter when it comes to assigning bullpen roles

    Aug 3, 2015, 10:30 AM EDT

    Trevor Rosenthal AP

    Using your closer in the seventh or eighth inning may be a good idea, but Mike Matheny says that it’s not that simple.

Top 10 MLB Player Searches
  1. C. Gomez (5748)
  2. C. Hamels (5079)
  3. T. Tulowitzki (5024)
  4. Y. Cespedes (4419)
  5. D. Price (3897)
  1. M. Trout (3611)
  2. B. Revere (3514)
  3. G. Parra (3503)
  4. J. Reyes (3446)
  5. M. Latos (3430)