Mar 7, 2012, 7:51 AM EDT
After I left the ballpark yesterday afternoon I came back to my hotel and placed my health first among all other things. First, I moved into my new non-smoking room, which was good for my lungs. Then I went to the fitness center and ran on a treadmill for 45 minutes which was good for my heart, body and soul.
Then I went to In-n-Out Burger and ate this followed by a trip to a dive bar called TT Roadhouse where I hoisted the moist with a friend of mine. No, I don’t think it’s safe to say that I’m in the best shape of my life after all of that. Hell, I’m not even in the best shape of the bloggers on this site.
The friend of mine was a former sportswriter and former blogger named Connor Doyle who I met back in the Shysterball days. When I was here last year, as some of you may remember, I had beers with him and DIPS legend Voros McCracken and nearly started a race riot. Last night wasn’t quite as scary, but it definitely turned strange.
We had been there a little over an hour or so when a man with a gigantic head wound came up and sat down at our table and began talking to us. He began in mid-sentence as if he had been with us all night, and took up the political conversation Connor and I were having. Well, OK then. He did pause long enough for Connor to ask him what happened to his head. Seems he was walking with a girl last week when a man ran him over with a car and then drove away. He treated the explanation as though it was bothersome and unimportant and continued on with his political monologue. Well, OK again.
The substance of the monologue: if he had a time machine and could go back and change one historical event, it would be to prevent women getting the right to vote. Really: that’s when he believes all of our country’s problems began.
“The 50s were great,” he said. “Everything was going just fine until women got the vote.”
“You realize that by the 50s women had been voting for over 30 years,” I said.
He just kind of stopped for a second, considered the thought, ignored it and moved on. And to be fair to him, he did expand the point: it wasn’t just women voting that was the problem. It was all racial minorities, homosexuals and “children.” I thought I’d comfort him by telling him that children still don’t have the right to vote, but I couldn’t really get a word in.
From there we moved on to evolution (“So you believe we came from monkeys? That it went ooze-fish-monkeys-man? Really?”) and then on to religion (“I’m not one of those crazy people, but religion has done more to disprove science than science has to prove evolution”). He noted at one point that he got a concussion in that hit-and-run last week. I nodded.
Eventually our friend — who would not let me take his picture sadly, because I believe that by that time he realized (a) I was a writer; and (b) I was taking mental notes — mentioned that three women were coming to meet him there and implied that, if we played our cards right, maybe Connor and I could get lucky.
I figured that was his tallest tale of the evening but I’ll be damned if three women didn’t eventually show up. One had a boyfriend with her. None of them seemed like people who would hang out with our friend, here. Indeed, when he went to use the restroom, one of the women said that she didn’t know the guy’s name and that they just call him “the guy who got hit by the car.” I am still unclear on why they would all meet him out at a bar.
I was likewise unclear why I was still talking to him, but eventually he disappeared into the night. I’m still not 100% certain that he existed. It’s possible someone spiked my Double-Double animal style or slipped a mickey into Moose Drool brown ale. But if he did exist, just know that people like him walk the Earth. Well, sort of stagger the Earth, but still.
Freakin’ Arizona. Drink here at your peril. Or maybe just don’t go out with Connor Doyle, because for as great a guy as he is, he seems to attract the weird ones.
Back to baseball this morning. I’m heading to the Peoria Sports Complex where I will witness the debut of Yu Darvish. A man who, until last night, I figured would be the most interesting person I’d meet in Spring Training.
Reports from the ballpark later, my friends.
May 27, 2015, 11:27 PM EDT
Reds ace Johnny Cueto was scratched from a start last week after experiencing stiffness in his right elbow, but an MRI taken Tuesday afternoon came up clean …
May 27, 2015, 10:14 PM EDT
Harper has slugged 13 home runs over his last 19 games.
May 27, 2015, 9:01 PM EDT
Cardinals first baseman Matt Adams tore his right quadriceps muscle Tuesday while legging out a double.
May 27, 2015, 8:23 PM EDT
Santos had registered an underwhelming 4.73 ERA, 1.50 WHIP, and 15/7 K/BB ratio in 13 1/3 innings of relief this season for the Dodgers.
May 27, 2015, 7:18 PM EDT
Just call him Jimmy “The Jet” Paredes.
May 27, 2015, 6:25 PM EDT
Peguero was designated for assignment by the Rangers on May 20 after batting .186/.310/.414 with four home runs and nine RBI in 84 plate appearances.
May 27, 2015, 5:19 PM EDT
Adams was off to a slow start this season, but he’s hit .277 with a .770 OPS in 320 games for the Cardinals since debuting in 2012.
May 27, 2015, 5:09 PM EDT
Everything ends badly. Otherwise it wouldn’t end.
May 27, 2015, 4:34 PM EDT
A bad season for the A’s is starting to look worse.
May 27, 2015, 4:19 PM EDT
The incident is alleged to have occurred this past weekend.
May 27, 2015, 4:01 PM EDT
Crazy things are happening in Minnesota.
Felix Hernandez and Chris Archer dueled. Chris Archer, by one measure, pitched better. Felix Hernandez won.
May 27, 2015, 3:36 PM EDT
Game scores are interesting things. Wins — the team kind, anyway — are far more satisfying.
May 27, 2015, 2:30 PM EDT
And Missouri continues to represent well.
May 27, 2015, 2:18 PM EDT
De Aza played very well for the Orioles down the stretch last season.
May 27, 2015, 1:49 PM EDT
Verlander will start Sunday at Triple-A.
May 27, 2015, 12:50 PM EDT
Several reports last week had the Angels in the market for outfield help.
May 27, 2015, 12:36 PM EDT
“A multimedia show featuring a virtual Selig.” Yes, that’s actually a thing.
May 27, 2015, 11:50 AM EDT
He’s about 11 months removed from Tommy John surgery.
May 27, 2015, 11:19 AM EDT
Coke signed a one-year, $2.25 million deal with the Cubs this offseason.
May 27, 2015, 11:01 AM EDT
And you think my A-Rod trolling kung-fu is the best. Heck, I’m an amateur.
- Cardinals GM John Mozeliak: Matt Adams out 3-4 months, possibly the year, with torn quad 22
- Bryce Harper leads in the first round of National League All-Star voting 26
- Buster Olney: The Marlins should hire A-Rod to be their next manager 43
- Breaking down the Braves-Dodgers trade 18
- And That Happened: Tuesday’s scores and highlights 34
- So that Juan Uribe trade to the Braves is back on … 11
- Ruben Amaro apologizes for comments about fans, admits he may have been late on rebuild 24
- Jonathan Lucroy expected to rejoin the Brewers on Monday 0
- And That Happened: Wednesday’s scores and highlights (133)
- And That Happened: Thursday’s scores and highlights (96)
- Ichiro Suzuki passes Babe Ruth on the all-time hits list (76)
- And That Happened: Monday’s scores and highlights (71)
- Ruben Amaro dismisses fans who “bitch and complain” about the Phillies’ moves (71)