It is with a heavy heart that I get on a plane this morning and leave Arizona. No, it’s not a paradise. But for a few weeks in late February and on through March it is pretty damn close to it. The weather is perfect. The baseball is plentiful. Hope is ubiquitous. Friends — at least my friends in baseball — are all over the place.
Yes, it’s been a wonderful week here in the Valley of the Sun. A week that has re-energized me and has made me anxious for the regular season to start. That has made me realize that no matter how many baseball seasons I’ve lived through, each one begins anew, unspoiled and wonderful. It has been a week that has made me remember that, even though life has its ups and its downs, baseball is always there for us. As a diversion or, if we need it to be, as something more.
It’s been a pretty rough, dark winter in a lot of ways. But it’s a winter that ends now. Ends with the dawning of a new morning. A morning in which we learned a few things. Such as:
- Brian Wilson has no idea about how the universe works, but OH MY GOD he inspired something wonderful.
- Sometimes you walk into a room with three Hall of Famers just sitting at a table reading newspapers and shooting the breeze;
- Sometimes you walk down a concourse and see two Hall of Very Gooders.
- Sometimes you get accosted by some weirdo with a head wound at a seedy bar on the unfashionable side of town;
- Yoenis Cespedes is pretty freakin’ awesome, even if your momma could hit a homer off Jeff Francis;
- Yu Darvish is pretty freakin’ awesome, even if your momma could hold the San Diego Padres scoreless;
- To be successful, first you see the ball, then you hit the ball;
- Coco Crisp thinks it’s funny that I’m bald;
- So too does the Indians’ beat writer from MLB.com, but at least Manny Acta has my back;
- For some people, the Expos will never die;
- Robin Yount needs a bigger cap;
- Ron Roenicke is a neat guy;
- Maryvale Baseball Park may be in Phoenix’s most gang-ridden neighborhood, but it’s still pretty nice;
- At some point you get too old to hold on to souvenir baseballs;
- Chief Wahoo sucks, and I’m never gonna get tired of talking about it;
- Talking to baseball players may make me not want to rip them as much, which probably means I should stop talking to baseball players;
- Lots of reporters wanted to see Yu Darvish in person;
- Torii Hunter has gone to the Crash Davis school of not telling nosy reporters anything of substance;
- A person actually bought an orange Marlins’ cap;
- Bobby Abreu actually thinks he can pitch; and
- The Angels are a happy bunch.
As you read this, I’m at 30,000 feet. Next time you hear from me I’ll be back in my fortified compound on the outskirts of Columbus, Ohio, refreshed by my travels and primed for a new baseball season.
Onward, ho.
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- cur68 - Mar 12, 2012 at 8:11 AM
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So the anti-baldites have 2 superheros now, eh? Are they the superheros we want? Yep. They are. Are they the superheros we need. Yep, again. Man. That IS super: they even beat the meme.
Look. Up in the sky! Its a bird? Its a plane! No, wait! Its Sasquatch! No. No, wait…its…Superman? Yes! It is. My, what an amazing thick head of hair being ruffled by the breeze in the wind of his passage…er…yeah. Minions of Lex Luthor, beware!
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- paperlions - Mar 12, 2012 at 8:16 AM
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If it makes you feel any better, I’m pretty sure both batman and superman wear skinny jeans.
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- proudlycanadian - Mar 12, 2012 at 8:19 AM
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Men in tights, just like Robin Hood.
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- Old Gator - Mar 12, 2012 at 1:14 PM
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We’re men, we’re men in tights.
We roam around the forest looking for fights.
We’re men, we’re men in tights.
We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that’s right!
We may look like sissies, but watch what you say or else we’ll put out your lights!
We’re men, we’re men in tights,
Always on guard defending the people’s rights.[The Can-Can Chorus Line]
We’re men, MANLY men, we’re men in tights.
[Gay voice] Yes!
We roam around the forest looking for fights.
We’re men, we’re men in tights.
We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that’s right!
We may look like pansies, but don’t get us wrong or else we’ll put out your lights.
We’re men, we’re men in tights
[High Voice] TIGHT Tights
Always on guard defending the people’s rights.
When you’re in a fix just call for the men in tights!WE’RE BUTCH!
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- lewp - Mar 12, 2012 at 8:12 AM
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Craig, thanks for keeping us cubicle dwellers up-to-date in Arizona. You did a great job!
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- cltjump - Mar 12, 2012 at 9:29 AM
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The most astounding statement on this list?
“Someone actually bought the new orange Miami Marlins hat.”
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- phukyouk - Mar 12, 2012 at 9:30 AM
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Just so you know i read that as Pablo Sandaval like 5 times before seeing i was wrong wrong wrong. either way he brutalized your name.. you should sue.
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- qcubed3 - Mar 12, 2012 at 10:16 AM
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While the foreground of the above picture is a bit dark, you can still make out the lines of an equipment bag . . . .
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- Old Gator - Mar 12, 2012 at 12:04 PM
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Sounds like he got away from there without having stepped on any invisible horned toads.
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- marshmallowsnake - Mar 12, 2012 at 1:13 PM
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What is with the horned toads? I live in the area, and always see you mention this.
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- Old Gator - Mar 12, 2012 at 4:29 PM
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I read not long ago in Scientific American that in Arizona the horned toads were vanishing.
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- Old Gator - Mar 12, 2012 at 4:30 PM
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…or maybe it was in The Journal of Irreproducible Results. I subscribe to a lot of science magazines.
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- vivabear - Mar 12, 2012 at 6:33 PM
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You should probably go back and read the rest of the article then.
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- Old Gator - Mar 13, 2012 at 12:06 AM
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At the end of the article, the horned toads were still vanishing. Let’s see your horned toad impersonation.
