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Nationals to sell eight-pound “StrasBurger” this season

Mar 12, 2012, 2:51 PM EST

eight pound weight

Via Dan Steinberg of the Washington Post comes this press release from the Nationals about a new concession item called the “StrasBurger”:

Weighing eight pounds total (including toppings), the StrasBurger is a monstrous all beef burger (combination of ground brisket, chuck and short ribs). The burger is served on a large burger bun with our secret sauce, American cheese, shredded lettuce, sliced tomatoes, sliced red onions, pickle chips and served with a cone basket of fresh cut fries and a pitcher of your choice of soft drink.

Hopefully they have Diet Coke available.

  1. phukyouk - Mar 12, 2012 at 2:56 PM

    “Hopefully they have Diet Coke available.”
    and a defibrillator too i hope

    • cur68 - Mar 12, 2012 at 7:55 PM

      Defibrillator aint gonna correct a rhythm affected by that much beef. What you need is Anton Chigurh’s bolt gun to put the victim out of his misery. Diet Coke will get the blood stains out.

  2. sabathiawouldbegoodattheeighthtoo - Mar 12, 2012 at 3:00 PM

    And to keep the metaphor accurate, for 2012 they will shut you down once you are approximately 80% of the way through the Strasburger, in order to limit your workload and preserve your long-term health.

  3. koufaxmitzvah - Mar 12, 2012 at 3:03 PM

    “What’s your secret sauce?”

    “Ketchup and mayo. What’s the secret sauce at Bronco Burger?”

    “Thousand Island dressing.”

    • vivabear - Mar 12, 2012 at 3:34 PM

      “I really hate the Bronco Burger. Ever since they started with the chicken nuggets, everything went downhill.”

  4. nightman13 - Mar 12, 2012 at 3:06 PM

    Tommy John surgery will be required if you try to lift the burger off the plate with one hand.

    • sabathiawouldbegoodattheeighthtoo - Mar 12, 2012 at 3:08 PM

      Perhaps each burger could contain just a pinch of genuine Steven Strasburg elbow ligament, left over from his surgery and cured for over 18 months

      • sportsdrenched.com - Mar 12, 2012 at 3:18 PM

        FTW

        This comment wins the internet for today.

  5. mdpickles - Mar 12, 2012 at 3:07 PM

    I’ll have the Jayson Werthlessburger.

    • contraryguy - Mar 12, 2012 at 3:14 PM

      They were going to feature Strasburg Sliders but the test product blew through the average diner.

  6. shaggylocks - Mar 12, 2012 at 3:17 PM

    “… and a pitcher of your choice of soft drink.”

    I had to read that a few times before it clicked. A pitcher of your choice? Does he have to be on the National’s 40 man roster?

  7. phukyouk - Mar 12, 2012 at 3:18 PM

    Homer: I thought this was supposed to be a steak house, not a little girly, underpantsy, pink doily, tea party place!
    Waiter: Well, there is one steak that’s available only by special request. We call it, uh, Sir Loin-A-Lot. It’s, uh, the size of a boogie board.
    Homer: Ooh, I’ll have that one. And to drink … meatballs.
    Waiter: Very good, sir.

  8. phillyphever - Mar 12, 2012 at 3:43 PM

    Someone call Adam Richman. We found a challenge for him to take.

    • jimbo1949 - Mar 12, 2012 at 4:32 PM

      He already did one of those at some minor league park. http://www.ibetyouwont.com/fifth-third-burger-challenge-at-fifth-third-ballpark/
      Isn’t there also something called “the rothlisburger”

      • phillyphever - Mar 12, 2012 at 5:15 PM

        I know that, but this one looks more challenging than the other burger.

  9. thenoblebard93 - Mar 12, 2012 at 3:44 PM

    And how much will this monstrosity cost? I may fly out if it’s cheap enough. :)

  10. dcfan4life - Mar 12, 2012 at 3:47 PM

    Sounds like a burger couples and familys can split. To be honost im suprised it took this long to come up with a Strasburger, ya know…

  11. bbk1000 - Mar 12, 2012 at 3:48 PM

    Take all of what’s worst from BK and MC, take a dump on the bun and here you go……

  12. Gobias Industries - Mar 12, 2012 at 3:51 PM

    Poor Aaron probably put five of those hard-lost pounds back on just writing this post.

  13. Jeremy Fox - Mar 12, 2012 at 4:38 PM

    So are Phillies fans allowed to purchase Strasburgers from the concession stand? Or do they have to buy their Strasburgers on the secondhand market from Nationals fans?

    • natstowngreg - Mar 12, 2012 at 4:48 PM

      Hey, I’ll be happy to re-sell them to Phillies fans. If only to help reduce the number of Phillies fans.

  14. Old Gator - Mar 12, 2012 at 4:41 PM

    Imagine a horrible horsemeat and Velveeta™ sandwich that size. A Brobdingnagian burger might be construed as involuntary manslaughter, but a HH&V™ sandwich that size would be pretty proximate to mass murder.

    • natstowngreg - Mar 12, 2012 at 4:51 PM

      Dunno, a coroner might rule it a suicide, not a homicide.

  15. foreverchipper10 - Mar 12, 2012 at 5:15 PM

    Take all of the tomatoes and throw them away and I can probably put back 1/3 of this bad boy.

  16. 84cubs - Mar 12, 2012 at 5:36 PM

    This is happening in Washington D.C? So much for Mrs Obama’s obesity campaign…. Do you think she’ll get hubby to propose some sort of legislation to stop this from happening??? Stranger things have happened…….

    • Old Gator - Mar 12, 2012 at 8:43 PM

      Why bother? The Bush appointees on the Supreme Court are convinced that hamburgers are people and that groans, farts and belches are speech.

      • 84cubs - Mar 13, 2012 at 12:04 PM

        Hmm, at the very least “groans, farts and belches” last I checked might make somebody leave a room, but it can NEVER be mistaken for MORE government encroachment on our lives. But thats why I love our country, everybody is entitled to his or her opinion. Have a wonderful day.

  17. mojosmagic - Mar 12, 2012 at 8:50 PM

    Eat one and you end up on the DL.

  18. Giantattitude - Mar 12, 2012 at 11:37 PM

    Hopefully it comes with a free barf bag.

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