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Re-run: why I rip guys like T.J. Simers rather than ignore them

Mar 20, 2012, 2:31 PM EDT


I’m watching the Braves-Tigers game. Jair Jurrjens looks awful. Then he threw a first pitch fastball down the middle to Delmon Young, who hit an RBI single.  Anyone who pays attention knows that Delmon Young swings at the first pitch. All the damn time. Jurrjens should probably have his pitching license taken away. Bah.

OK, the reason I wrote that is so that no one can yell at me for ignoring baseball content when I link to a post I did last year. I know people hate reruns, but this morning’s link to the T.J. Simers column caused people to ask me why I bother giving that guy the attention I do. Well, I answered that last year, so it’s probably worth saying it again.

The upshot: I’m a naive idealist who still thinks that the professional sporting press should be held accountable, and if it means giving these chipwiches a few thousand extra page views in the process, I don’t care.  They can crow about how they’re driving traffic with their controversial approach.  I’m content to call out nonsense for the nonsense it is.

OK, thanks for indulging that.  Now back the Braves-Tigers game.  Ugh … wait, never mind. This is ugly.  Is there anyone else I can rip?  I can’t watch this.

  1. ss - Mar 20, 2012 at 2:35 PM

    Going to ignore most of Craig’s post and ask the masses – am I the only one that calls Jair Jurrjens “Jar Jar Jurrjens” in their head? And amongst close friends? And now all of you?

    It helps if you don’t know what he looks like, I think. At least I don’t know what he looks like, and I’m pretty sure that helps with mental imagery of the whole thing.


    • Baseball Beer Burritos In That Order - Mar 20, 2012 at 2:47 PM

      I was so close to thumbing this down based on “Going to ignore most of Craig’s post and blah blah threadjack”…but you make a compelling point. Jar Jar Jurrjens it is. Here’s hoping Justin Crisostomo can make that abomination of a mental image a reality.

    • bravojawja - Mar 20, 2012 at 2:58 PM

      Meesa gonna hafta hate you now, betcha.

  2. churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged - Mar 20, 2012 at 2:46 PM

    Ask chipwich, brings back memories of yesteryear, s more simple time. And where the hell did BC go?

    • Jonny 5 - Mar 20, 2012 at 2:55 PM

      Yeah, Where the hell DID BC go anyway? He faded with the Mets into oblivion?

      • stlouis1baseball - Mar 20, 2012 at 3:15 PM

        Great question Jonny. What happened to Bicepts as well? I seem to remember him getting booted off…banned…or whatever. But I just assumed he would create another handle and be back for the fun. Which brings up another point.
        What exactly did he do or say to get banned?

      • phukyouk - Mar 20, 2012 at 3:19 PM

        Cepts got banned for being.. well.. Cepts. i think he made a new SN earlier in the offseason but I Assume that got banned as well.

      • Jonny 5 - Mar 20, 2012 at 3:53 PM

        What didn’t bicepts say to get banned would be a much shorter list actually.

      • paperlions - Mar 20, 2012 at 4:04 PM

        Yeah, he called himself something like “phillies2012champs” and Craig et al. politely let him hang out, until he went to 11 (on the ‘cepts level of offensiveness scale) again.

    • Alex K - Mar 20, 2012 at 2:56 PM

      I have wondered the same thing about BC. It’s just not the same without him calling people chipwhiches. At least we still have El Bravo and the douchenozzle list!

  3. WhenMattStairsIsKing - Mar 20, 2012 at 2:51 PM

    At the same time, if everyone ignores Simers, he’ll be out of a job, because to write, means to be read.

  4. Baseball Beer Burritos In That Order - Mar 20, 2012 at 2:53 PM

    Craig, keep doing what you do. I think the modern fan identifies more with things like “talking about how people play baseball” than the things the sportwriters of the last 2 decades were interested in (“talking about talking about baseball, with juicy rumors!”) If MLB doesn’t realize that most of the people who have stuck around this great game instead of becoming pigskin fans are doing so because they like baseball the way it is (for the most part) they will continue to cater to these meathead national columnists. And these meathead columnists and beat writers will feel mandated to keep pumping out trivial, unsubstantive crap, and those of us who really love the game will struggle more and more to explain why it is worth watching to the kind of people who equate more points with more action.

    Keep pounding that drum, you’re our only hope.

  5. sabathiawouldbegoodattheeighthtoo - Mar 20, 2012 at 3:15 PM

    “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.”

    Attr. Burke

    Perhaps what Craig’s article was lacking was an e-mail address for Simers’ editor, so we can all complain about him and his ‘style’ where it could hurt him the most. I couldn’t find it, but perhaps some of you are more savvy than I.

    • shawndc04 - Mar 20, 2012 at 4:18 PM

      I think, though, that it cuts the other way. The more ink this guy gets (including complaints), and the more attention it brings to the newspaper, the more likely the editors are to assert freedom of speech and let him keep producing his trash.

      • Cris E - Mar 20, 2012 at 4:41 PM

        Then link directly to the editor’s email but not to the article. People who want to read Simers can find him, but people who want to complain about him should get an assist. Don’t enable easy clicks.

  6. Francisco (FC) - Mar 20, 2012 at 4:49 PM

    T.J. Simers was sitting at his desk typing up another article with his singular brand of journalism. He was so engrossed in his own writing that when his cell phone rang he automatically answered it without even bothering to check the Caller ID.

    “Simers speaking, go ahead.”, he said.

    “Mr. Simers, I see you continue to write disgusting nonsense that you call baseball articles in the L.A. Times.”

    “Calcaterra,” said Simers, sitting up in his chair. “We seem to do this every year. Just write your little blog post in your insignificant site and try to learn the craft from real professionals.”

    “I’m doing far more than typing a post this year Mr. Simers,” answered Craig. “You see, that Matt Kemp bobblehead on your desk has a GPS tracker. And you’ve made the mistake of leaving your window open.”

    T.J. had a confused look on his face and when he lifted the Matt Kemp bobblehead on his desk, a white chalky X was scribbled under it. “Oh…f-“, was all he had time to say as a 100mph+ baseball smashed into his forehead through his window at his study. If you were to follow the trajectory of said baseball backwards in time it would go out the window, across Los Angeles, go out over Las Vegas between two aircraft, through the mid-west all the way to Ohio and enter a small window into the tube of a super-cannon within a very specific Lair, where said cannon was being held by a man in a Braves Bathrobe, spectacles and chewing on a bubble pipe as he depressed the trigger.

    “So, what the frak have you been doing lately?”, said Craig, as he calmly took the bubble pipe out of his mouth and polished it on the arm of his bathrobe.

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